Two Thai friends for life

To: Sawadeekrab khun Prawit. You did a good job on him again. A spotless ASEAN summit without any misery. Just a suspicious bag at Hat Yai station but I think you took care of that yourself. You always have the system tested, right?

Pra:     Thank you, khun Too. You know me well, I see. Besides, there was a lot more to it. You know: all those hisos didn't want to sleep in the north near Impact, but in the center of Bangkok, in the Mandarin Oriental, Shangri-la or the Marriott. I had an additional 500 TM30 forms printed and delivered to these hotels because I do not trust their central statement. It's about expats, you know. Some Mercedes cars also had to be painted yellow. Finding good drivers who want to drive on the toll road a few times a day was of course no problem. We had 2000 enthusiasts for 25 laps. And some wanted to do the work for free. That's something else than recruiting new senators. They ask for gold money and then spend those hard Baht abroad.

to:      I have always maintained that the motivation of ordinary Thais to work for the country is not lacking.

Pra: I lost some sleep during the 5 days of the ASEAN summit. At my age I really need an afternoon nap, otherwise I won't make it to the Thai soap on TV. Hope you don't mind me if I doze off and think of something more fun during the upcoming sessions of parliament.

to:      To what then?

Pra:     Well. Those five days of ASEAN were pretty boring. But what I liked most was the drill of a few thousand special forces the day before the conference. All those young, good-looking, sexy men performing all those tricks like jumping out of a helicopter (shouldn't we buy some new ones for those guys before another one crashes?) made my heart beat a little faster. I definitely didn't fall asleep.

to:      Is that good for your heart, my friend?

Pra:     Well, not actually. My cardiologist has already advised me to replace my male bodyguards with female ones. But I really can't get that over my heart. Even in the daily soap operas I don't see a single Thai actress who appeals to me sensually. My deceased, good, no very good friend didn't see it either. When we were together, we forgot time. And then sometimes I overslept. That's why I was allowed to borrow all his 25 watches. They were all very good watches that always worked: Rolexes, Patek Philippe (just the sexy name!), Audemars Pigues and an A. Lange & Sohne. Unfortunately I don't have them anymore and that's one of the reasons I sometimes don't wake up.

to:      Now I understand better.

Pra:     The only woman who bothers me is Suprang-orn. You know, the lady who traveled with me to Hawaii on our government mission. She is the epitome of Thai female service. She can cook and serve in all rooms of your house. And not just mama noodles, and not just the vacuum cleaner. Maybe a strange question, but have you ever spanked your daughters?

to:      Well, that's a long time ago, buddy. I am in favor of a corrective tap on the buttocks, by the way. But as I progressed in my career in the army, I started to think and act more proactively. I may have been an authoritarian father in the past, but not anymore. All I have to do is look now and my kids listen, or run. At my house the motto still applies: good girls in, bad girls out. Big Joke later changed that. Good guys in, bad guys out. That doesn't apply to you, I think..hahahaha.

Pra:     I still like a tap on my buttocks. I have to play naughty for that, but I still manage to do that, even at my age. And Suprang-on understands me very well.

to:      I do wonder if General Prem understands us that well. The man who looks after his vacant house sent me a message that he smells Prem's fresh aftershave every day. It was even on TV. It seems that Prem's ghost now lives in his house. I have to say I'm not too happy about that. You're still responsible for internal security, aren't you?

Pra:     Of course. And I can help you in this case myself. I'll go to the house one of these days. Prem had the same after shave that I received on my 70th birthday from my good, no very good deceased friend: Invictus by Paco Rabane.

to:      I'd like to leave it up to you how to solve the problem.

Pra:     Thank you. I'm pretty sure that despite your language skills and classical military training, you still don't know what Invictus means.

to:      No, but I don't really care.

Pra:     Invictus is Latin and means invincible.

to:      hahahahah, that's appropriate for us.