'A sad encounter on Koh Samui'
Matt Hahnewald / Shutterstock.com
On Koh Samui, returning at 01:00 at night from the “Green Mango” entertainment center on Chaweng Beach, I calmly walked towards the hotel where we stayed.
Along the way I am regularly approached, ladies who would like to take me to my hotel on their scooter. Still other ladies who still like to bring me into their salon for a 'late-nite' massage when the market closes. But also the various bars are still actively acquiring for customers.
The almost inevitable happened, a lady with a sweet face, beautiful body and reasonable English speaking let me sit on the bar stool at the bar right along the sidewalk. Oh well, one more beer is fine and the lady offers me a lady drink. To my considerable surprise, a real conversation ensues after the obligatory, 'where do you come from, etc.'
If I indicate that I am not interested in more than a drink and a chat and that she certainly cannot come to my hotel, I answer her question why truthfully: 'I am gay and married to a Ladyboy'. She responds with a sad and unbelievable story.
Converted for nothing
Once she was a boy, yes, a gay, and she really wanted to spend life with a sweet Farang. But yes, that turned out to be easier conceived than realized. She saw that Farangs were more interested in Ladyboys than gays. She then decided to implant a set of silicone breasts. The expected success failed to materialize, 2nd operation, she had her Adam's apple removed and her hips sprayed to look more feminine. With her new look, she has many intimate encounters with Farangs. But they often do not seem to appreciate her still present male genitalia.
Save for another two years, then she can become a full woman. This took place in Bangkok last September, now she has been fully female for more than two months. Oops, she gently lifts her short skirt and I see a real female vagina, with only two minimally visible scars next to both of her groins. She can't bear panties yet, which irritates her newly acquired femininity. Nevertheless, there is disappointment, despite all the costs, there is still no Farang to share her life with.
Repressed sadness
Finally, she confesses whether it was all worth it. She was just gay, now fully female, but actually still wants to be just a guy. We chatted for at least 3 hours, she told me many more details from his/her life, which I do not wish to share with third parties out of piety. I wish her the best of luck for the future.
It's a shame that such a sweet and sincere person mutilates himself completely and irreversibly for more or less commercial reasons.
Show genuine empathy
Let's all treat people from the entertainment business with care, they often all have a sad story why they do what they do. Only a few get the rich experience to learn something from the life story of a "bargirl".
– Reposted message –
Coincidentally, Arte (NLTV.Asia) is following a country series about ZOA. Yesterday it was TH's turn. A 21-year-old in BKK was speaking. Running a restaurant with mother in the morning. During the day, student at a college of tourism. Told how she felt from childhood not to be a boy but realized early on that she wanted to be a woman. With help and support from family and environment, she now feels fully accepted in Thai society. Nothing, no misery, and nothing, no personal suffering. Also in TH, it all depends on which route you decide to take. Sitting on a bar stool and waiting to see who comes by often doesn't help.
A very impressive story that no one deserves. In that respect, it is a good thing that such irreversible life-changing interventions do not just take place here in the West, but the specialists also check whether this really serves someone's wish (born in the wrong body) and the long-term interests of the person.
The explanation that this was all to hook a farang I have a bit more trouble with. An intervention like this is not nothing for Thai standards, so someone must have a reasonable amount of capital or take out a large loan (if things are really bad via loansharks and then the turnips are really done). A Thai partner or partner from anywhere should also be fine if you can live happily together, including a bit of "take care"? Or the pressure to quickly find a good partner must have been very high (from the family?) and then it is easier to fish on a swim where you think you have a better chance of a good catch. But I would run away from the well-known stories such as “Thai men no good” etc.
But too much preaching. It sounds like this man - that's how he feels - wasn't out of his depth, even though I can't understand his choices. Of course it remains a very sad story, he doesn't deserve that. I sincerely hope that he will find a nice, sweet man with whom he will be happy and who can take good care of each other. I think he is intelligent and insightful enough to eventually find a partner. So I wish him all the luck and a good relationship.
Totally agree.
Many of us have no idea what the backgrounds of 90% of (lady) boys are as to why they started working in the entertainment business.
Only in Thailand did I become aware of the “ladyboy” phenomenon. Before that I had never seen one, let alone spoken to one. I will not say that I have studied very deeply how and why someone wants to be a ladyboy, but I do read with a certain interest what is written on this blog, among other things.
I then read, among other things, that a ladyboy or transsexual is someone who was born in the wrong body. Someone comes into the world as a boy, but wants to be a girl in every way. I don't understand the deeper meaning of this, but I have accepted it as a given. If that is the case, I can also imagine that someone undergoes all kinds of operations to become (as much as possible) of the opposite sex.
You are now writing a story about a conversation with a “lady” who underwent those operations for commercial reasons. That's when my mind really stops.
Now such a nightly conversation under the influence of alcohol is not the best way to get to know someone well. I do believe that there is a sad story behind it, the details of which you do not want to tell, but such a “solution” had no chance in advance.
You call her sweet and sincere, but be honest, she is very naive and stupid.
A nice story, Paul. But keep in mind that every lady-boy-gay-ladyboy, who work here in Pattaya, all have sad stories. of parents to end up here.
wow !!! Nice story Paul, unfortunately we probably don't think about it enough or even ever!
Paul, you are absolutely right with your conclusion. During my 15 years of bar life I have met many really nice and pleasant ladies. The reasons they ended up in that life sometimes makes you shudder.
Gripping, touching and yes true.
I'm gay myself, I have a great friend who is fortunately just a boy, but we also have friends who unfortunately and with great regret had themselves converted afterwards.
We regularly hear very sad and heartbreaking stories.
Even suicide attempts have been considered and/or carried out by some.
Many converted boys who are still prostitutes in Chiang Mai are indeed not too
trust, but there are also real sweethearts among them.
Our converted friends, partially and completely, have normal jobs, at 7/11, Tesco, or as sales assistants at car dealers and then it's not too bad, but as soon as they get back to their room or if they can actually talk somewhere, we hear the stories, usually terribly sad.
Not all of them, some are happy with their decision, but many have no success story.
I agree, always treat people with respect no matter how they look in the beginning.
If it later turns out that they don't deserve that respect, you can always ignore them
computing
There is a lot of impatience in this story.
She really wanted to spend life with a sweet Farang.
Subsequently, in order to achieve this, she undertakes several
drastic steps to win over a Farang.
In itself a thorough person, but some things, such as oaeen
relationship cannot be forced.
Sincerely,
Lodewijk
Have respect for everyone, every person has a past, has a life story and you never know what it is. I have had great, personal conversations with Ladyboy's several times (which were behind it), and have gained so much knowledge about it, developed respect for it and therefore always love to have a drink on the way home every now and then to do. It is nice to see that after a few months you are no longer a stranger and that you are yelled at by dozens of women when you pass by on your scooter.
I totally disagree with the above response, a relationship can indeed be “forced” to call it that. There are plenty of men (and women) who go purely for looks, a rich and easy life and so on. She thought to increase her chances, which is often underlined when you visit Thailand. But like everything in Thailand, have respect, a sincere smile will take you very far and you will hear the most beautiful but sometimes also the most shocking stories, as the writer's story shows.
Very sad to read this. Especially because it is often about money to survive. Help family etc.
They also often have the wrong idea about Farangs.
Not all farangs are suitable to have as a partner. Or living in the western world is also not the answer for every Thai. Know many who still want to go back!!!
Thanks Patrick, correct comment.
I always respect everyone, and everyone should!
No one knows anyone's background and past!
I know several ladyboys, and for different reasons: one because he was in the wrong body, the other for commercial reasons…
I am gay myself, have a long-term close relationship with a Thai boy, we have been living together for more than 12 years, and are happy! Very happy!
But don't be fooled by family pressure when it comes to money. They don't care if their daughter or son ends up in prostitution, as long as it brings in money!
They all know it, but they don't talk about it…
I have witnessed many times how families "force" their children into a relationship with a farang,..only for money.
In my partner's native village, where we visit regularly, mothers come to me with passport photos of their (young) sons and daughters. Photos that they want to give me so that I can help their children with a farang, which of course I refuse.
They often miss an opportunity to put their children on sale.
And if the children themselves work in a tourist city, the demand for money is very high!
And young people go to great lengths to meet the demands of the family!
All very nice and sad stories here. There are plenty of ladyboys known as scum, scum.
That robs tourists and is very aggressive. These do not give Thailand a good name.
No, always be very careful when I talk to a ladyboy or come to you.
This is also true, especially on Pattaya Beach Road!
There are good and bad, totally agree.
So I also go around it with a big bow, especially on beach road,