A mighty man and a once mighty woman

To: Hello. Who is there?

Ying: Hi Kuhn Too, it's me, Kuhn Yingluck.

 

To: Well, it's been a long time since we talked on the phone. And sure we talked to each other every week about the situation in the country. How are things in Dubai, or Hong Kong, or Macedonia?

Ying: Well, to be honest, good and not good at the same time. My brother takes excellent care of me. He has arranged a number of passports from countries that I only knew existed because I traveled there as Prime Minister to receive orders, no sorry, advice from him. And no lack of money, but love and friendship. I would like to see my son and my husband again every day and of course the IconSiam, also every day.

 

To: I understand the latter. My wife and daughters can't be beaten away either, not yet with the entire Thai army. And that says something.

Ying: Indeed. I was Secretary of Defense, the boss of the stuff (not you), so I know all about it too. Before I forget. I want to thank you again for all the effort you put in to let me escape to Singapore via Cambodia. Hun Sen helped, of course, but I don't want to downplay your role. Many an officer has - at your command - deliberately turned a blind eye and then had to tell full and half lies. I assume you financially compensated whoever you fired. My brother had transferred you enough money, hadn't you?

 

To: Money transferred to me? No. That's not how it works. No, your brother bought stock in Kuhn Pipat and his wife's resort in the Cayman Islands. Then they could supposedly expand that, but they never did. They didn't intend to either. And via Pipat and some letterbox companies, from friends of yours and your brother, money does indeed come into my secret Swiss bank account every year. From there I was able to buy a nice condo in New York last year. A kind of Van Laarhoven construction, but much smarter than that expat.

Ying: hahahaha…you can leave that to my brother and you. But to get straight to the point: can I arrange something so that I can celebrate Loy Kratong 2020 in Bangkok, in freedom of course with husband and child and not in prison?

 

To: To be honest, that won't be easy. Going back to Thailand, not serving your jail time, being adored by the red shirts again, perhaps protests against my government. I'm not really looking forward to that. You have to understand that after all those justified protests against your government. I then recorded it for you for months, but at the end there was no stopping it. When they didn't get their money, your own supporters, the rice farmers, turned against you. Not with big tractors like in the Netherlands, but still. The message was clear: get out.

Ying: Yes, I know that all too well. I have escaped the dance a bit, but some of my political friends have been locked up for years. Not really nice to them because they took the chestnuts (and the Bahtjes) out of the fire for me. But a few are working hard to feel so ill that they will probably be able to go home soon. Probably under house arrest, so no IconSiam, but still. Just back home on the couch and watch The Voice of The Mask. I would also get sick of a prison like the Bangkok Hilton. I am a bit claustrophobic so I already feel a bit dizzy in Thai Airways First Class. But I can't complain because I don't pay anything for it. Doesn't that also apply to you?

 

To: Let's not talk about Thai Airways' problems, but about yours. I actually assume that you and your brother have worked out a proposal that you want to discuss with me.

Ying: You're smarter than I thought. My brother told me not to underestimate you.

 

To: Yes, your brother is smarter than you, but I already knew that. For the thread with the proposal.

Ying: Listen. It's not so much about me, but about the future of Thailand. Surely you agree with me – and my brother – that we should not change too much in the country. Our interests, I mean the interests of the Thai political, economic and military elite are paramount. In Germany they sing: Deutschland, Deutschland, über Alles, über Alles auf der Welt”. We keep it to: “Bahtjes, Bahtjes, because that is money”. So we have to make sure that Thanatorn with his FFP doesn't stir up the Thai youth too much and tell them the truth. Not by banning that party because that will have the opposite effect. You also know that from the past with our red party. We must focus the policy on the elderly in Thailand and take the wind out of the FFP. You are well on your way with that, by the way: those 1000 Baht gifts, more pension, fast internet everywhere to watch TV all day, better health care so that the Thais will all live many years older. In numbers, the elderly outnumber the young for at least the next 20 years, so that also means more votes.

 

To: There's something in that. I've never really thought about that and in my current and previous position I often think about it. We should focus on the elderly so that the young are not mentioned?

Ying: Exactly. When I return to freedom, I will work for the elderly and for your party, the PPRP. I think I explain that very well to my supporters. Incidentally. Some of my old friends are already members and have won the election for you. I thought it was amusing that you did the same thing I did years ago. That is to say: say until the last minute that you are not in the race for PM, then say with some trepidation that you will do it if the people want it, do not debate with any political opponent because all you want is popularity can lose and offer the local popie jopies enough money so that you can switch to your party. You should really be thankful to my brother for the idea. I don't need tons of money or a job, just my freedom. And I promise to prepare my son to take over in due course, whether or not through a job in the military, and continue the political line where you, me and the Thai elite, not to mention my brother foreign interest. And that is not better education, higher wages, fighting corruption and sustainable production. But lower wages, more profit, more infrastructure works, legalization of gambling, casinos, more Chinese companies and tourists, less tax for companies and more army.

 

To: Sounds sensible, coming from you.

Ying: When it comes to money, when it comes to trust, always give it to Thai women.

 

To: Kuhn Pipat emailed me a translation of that Dutch song yesterday. I had asked for that after the cabinet meeting in which he announced it. And the text is a bit different from what you say. The title is also nice and appropriate: เมื่อคุณวาดข้อสรุป. image

Ying: Yes, they are right about that. Friendship can only be found in the family.

 

Too: I'm going to see what I can do for the country, for you and me. We'll get there, I think.