The Thai youth of today
To say that I myself had a bad childhood would not be fair to my parents, who have long since passed away. They did their best, but we didn't have much at home. My father was an ordinary worker in a textile factory in Almelo and earned a meager wage.
Of course we were fed and dressed, but it was not very luxurious. Clothes and shoes, if really necessary, were bought cheaply when the child benefit came in. Yes, I did have a bicycle, an old second-hand barrel, special things such as skates, football boots or nice clothes like my school friends, were really not in it. We had to entertain ourselves in other ways. In short, I definitely don't affluence past.
Turnout you know by now, don't you? A rich man's disease, which recently caused quite a stir in America. A 16-year-old boy killed four people last year while drunk, but was acquitted of prison because he had the unrecognized illness affluence suffers: the boy is said to have been so spoiled by his wealthy parents that he does not realize the consequences of his actions. He must be re-educated with a probationary period of 10 years!
Well, an unknown phenomenon from the States, but here in Thailand it is already very common that rich parents “arrange something” if their children go wrong in one way or another. Now a Thai translation of affluenza will soon be made, because I don't think it exists yet.
Our Thai son, who just turned 14, will not suffer from this disease either. It is true that he also has it right, clothes, computer, food and drink, but there are limits to this light indulgence. That's what I call it, because in many ways he's better off than I had in my early childhood. He just had his birthday and for his birthday he wanted a new mobile phone. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not in favor of all that mobile stuff, but I also know that I cannot stop developments.
How much does that cost? Papa-farang can of course dock. My wife said that 5.000 baht was enough and with that money mom and son went looking for a suitable mobile phone. They returned empty-handed, because the boy refused the telephone, which could be bought for the available money. Why, I asked. My wife said that Mr. wanted a more expensive one, just like his friends at school. I then explained to my wife that I think that's quite normal, he doesn't have to stay behind with his friends, who would laugh at him with cheap stuff. I also told my wife how things used to be at my house and (hopefully) she understood.
He now has an iPad 4.8 for 16.000 baht and of course I couldn't resist pointing out to him that he had now received an incredibly expensive gift that many Thai people have to work for 1 to 2 months. Did that get through? I doubt it, the youth of today, huh!
Yes, the youth of today. And today's parents. An acquaintance of mine has lost a lot of money to his girlfriend's daughter because of that nonsense: iPhone, fancy scooter, nose surgery, expensive designer clothes, perfumes, trips, expensive restaurants. The money all comes from Mama, who borrows it again, pledges her motorcycle, fails to make payments for the second car, makes half-hearted attempts to sell clothes in the market and plunges deeply into debt. All this for her daughter, who is refused at almost every university because she is too stupid to start there (or because Mum does not have enough money for an admission anyway). Her boyfriend, who has been with her for six years now, told me that last year alone he had to pay 400.000 Baht in debts she incurred because of her baby daughter.
And even then he is stamped as stingy by his girlfriend and daughter says hello when she comes and goodbye when she goes. Nothing in between. Princess does nothing at home, shows off on Facebook what she has everything and is a total spoiled brat to me. At 15 she was already pregnant and told the police that she had been raped - a lie, it turned out later.
But everyone knows it's her mother, who can't say no and who keeps her hand all the time.
Young people have enormous social pressure from their peers. The values and norms they uphold are not exactly healthy.
I know it from my own daughters. Always wanted to teach them that real friends don't put pressure on you, but take you as you are. If they don't, then they aren't friends and aren't people worth wasting your time on. They are both adults now and I believe I was successful.
So are my girlfriend's sons. One will soon be 23. He has a 2-year-old son with his wife and is a hard worker. No unnecessary luxury. My girlfriend's youngest son is 17. He works, sometimes lives alone, sometimes with his father and often with the grandparents. Maybe he dreams of an iPad, but I don't think he even has the time for that and will probably have to live a humble life forever. No iPad for them, Samsung Galaxy. Not even from their Farang (step) dad. For the money of such a device, they could live for a few months.
Dear Gringo,
You write an excellent story, in which you show how things can go wrong with ungrateful and spoiled children. You also write about your own past; that it was not a fat pot at home, but that your parents gave you everything you needed in your life. Not despite, but thanks to this situation, you have been able to build your life. And I have the impression that this worked out quite well.
You first think carefully about purchasing this pricey iPad (or iPhone?). Then you draw the opposite conclusion. Not the conclusion the reader would expect. (Most 14-year-olds in Thailand don't have an Iphone/Ipad, do they?)
It then turns out that you didn't find the situation in your own childhood so ideal after all and you don't really help your son's mother with her attempt not to spoil her son too much.
Very nicely displayed indeed, only I notice from the story that no mobile phone was bought and that he now has to make do with his old phone… Or will there be a catch next week?
Dear Gringo, I therefore think that you have made a very good choice (although I am not sure, I would like to hear from you later because it concerns an iPad and not an iPhone or other smartphone, for example).
I only hear Sjaak S negative because it's all nonsense those devices? Can I call this nonsense?
My 2-year-old daughter talked about being spoiled.....No, because I bought her this to 1) go very early into the future (which of course she doesn't understand yet, but she knows it on and off and choose the apps she wants to work with)
Do I agree with you if they just spend 8 hours playing games with shooting and killing puppets? a resounding yes! Of course I'm not that stupid, she has apps with the alphabet, simple puzzles, simple memory games, simple movies like the teletubbies. Every day she plays it for an hour and that's because she wants it herself, not that I want to, because that has the wrong effect! In that hour she has to think and she also learns something every day. That's what matters to me, in a year or so we'll start with simple math and learning the clock, yes there are baby/toddler apps for that too. I will never forget that my grandfather used to work with me every day and I loved it, remember when we learned the clock at school for the first time.....I knew the whole clock and those "dumb kids" nothing. Maybe my grandfather had already passed the time compared to other parents……?
Mathias, my daughters also had their own PC and mobile phones, only I taught them not to succumb to the pressure of their “friends”. My eldest has an iPhone 5 and the youngest had a blueberry until recently and they took care of that themselves. I myself am also a gadget freak and bought a new device every two years when I could afford it. So I'm not that offended. You should read more closely, then you will see that I am not concerned with the devices, but with the misery that can entail when you lose sight of yourself and go into debt to satisfy your daughter or son with devices and don't have a penny left to feed or clothe yourself decently.
I read very well sjaak s… your acquaintance should scratch his head, what a weak excuse to blame the child and what an excuse to justify the blame of the stupid mother. Harsh words, but truth is never nice!
What strikes me, the in-laws do maintain, but the son is an i pad ho! This last response to yesterday's post! My kids go for family, simple!
Editorial addition because I am badly quoted…an acquaintance of mine has got through that nonsense….then accuse me of bad reading, world turned upside down! Sometimes I really have the tendency that many bloggers no longer think rationally!
Now it will probably be chatting. Who needs to scratch their heads? The knowledge? The mother who can't resist her daughter's wishes? Is a guilt justified here? I want to show what social pressure and greed can lead to. How "love" is confused with giving in to one's own children's whims.
Where does it say that the in-laws are maintained? And it is right to donate an iPad of about 16000 Baht, but not have enough money left to pay debts?
So you can go into debt to spoil your children and not teach them that you have to work hard to pay for those expensive things?
Debts made even with false promises. That's right??????
Now I ask myself at this time of day (it's 3 AM here), what is this supposed to mean? I can no longer follow YOUR thoughts that are strange to me. You are mixing up a few things. Of course the own children come before the family (you probably refer to someone else, because I didn't write a word about it). What I was talking about - I repeat again - was the fact that a mother goes deeply into debt for her daughter's whims. There is nothing to justify here. That's just plain stupid. And the Farang (an intelligent man) who sacrifices himself and keeps helping out. Horrible.
It's not his daughter, but the daughter from a previous relationship. This daughter is now 22 years old. Mother is now also looking for a Farang (say ATM) with her daughter, because she has never learned to support herself with her own means and because she is used to luxury.
And to get back to the point, the nonsense is buying expensive devices that they can't afford. A beauty operation, which is not necessary. When you find yourself in a situation where you "gift" your children with material and teach them that this is the most normal thing to do and that they can have all this without doing anything significant, I think this is nonsense . Giving love is also being able to say no sometimes. Love for your children is also concerned with your children without materialistic things being involved again and again.
I think it's fine if you spend every day with your daughter. And I had done it that way, but those devices didn't exist at that time. I had bought myself a tablet and played with the children on it, just as I had read stories every day. However, in order to teach them how to deal with these things early, I am inclined to say that you can never start too late with electronic devices. The tendency to not be able to do without is enormous. You are never too old to deal with it. Well too young.
Anyway. I won't go into it any further. This makes little sense. I think I am clear enough in my wording. If they are still misunderstood, because they cannot be read in their proper context, I will leave it at that…
mistake,
I mean iphone of course
LOUISE
I'm a real cyber ignoramus, someone once told me that I still communicated like in the time of Fred Flintstone.
Again, it turns out that I didn't eat any cheese, because my son didn't get an iPad, but an IPhone.
Hi Gringo,
Oh, happy.'Join the club”.
I always feel like I'm the only IT dumbass.
My cell phone couldn't swim, so I needed a new one.
Hubby says buy an iphone.
No, I just want a Nokia with photo capabilities.
So after insisting, I bought an iphone 5.
After two days something broke and I returned to the store. where I got a new one.
I left it neatly in the box and I just bought a new Nokia.
I think it's stupid of myself and that thing keeps looking at me, but this computer geek is happy with her Nokia.
LOUISE
When I hear people talk about the youth of today, it already puts a big smile on my face. There is no such thing as youth today, only a generation gap. And to underline that one more time, read this:
“Our youth today has a strong appetite for luxury, has bad manners, contempt for authority and no respect for the elderly. They prefer small talk rather than training. Young people no longer get up when an older person enters the room. They contradict their parents, keep their mouths shut in company… and tyrannize their teachers.”
This quote comes from Socrates, who lived ca. 470-399 BC.
Why today's youth?
Of course, the Thai youth also has to ride the waves of consumerism (in the boat of the farang's wallet). So is my girlfriend's daughter. First a telephone, fortunately not too expensive because 7000 baht. Later fell into the toilet. Then a watch, also not too crazy 2000 baht. Forgotten at the toilet at school, so gone. Then it runs out. An iPad mini is coming. How many gigs? With or without Wi-Fi? I say, for only facebook, because that's all they can do, an asus of 7000 baht is also good enough. But that was not well seen. So it became that iPad mini. Cash register 16000 baht. Has now fallen to the floor, crack in the screen. Whether I want to cough up 4000 baht for repair. I ask does it still work, yes, but not beautiful. For me the limit, but not beautiful. I have not yet been able to translate the concept of personal responsibility into Thai.
@k.Peter
That puts everything in perspective, thanks.
Khan Peter,
You showed us a nice quote from Socrates.
“The youth of today” is not a problem of today, but of all times.
I do try to teach the children here in the house the value of something and I sometimes sell a "no" with an explanation, which has been accepted so far. But it can happen, said our native Bredero..
Oh, you want a thingy, a toad or something?
Cost that?
15000 baht?
Well no.
You can get a call from 2000-3000 baht.
You don't need that?
Great, I'll save money again this month.
End result?
Telephone of 1800 baht, lost the message, broken or whatever?
Too bad, no new ones.
You have to do it for at least a year.
Otherwise, just look for a part-time job.
When I used to want something, Dad used to say the magic words: “Just find a paper route, if you have half the money together, you can borrow the rest, interest-free.
I am still grateful to him for it.
I also treated the descendants in the Netherlands to these words.
They still thank me for it.
No debts, no great desires that exceed the contents of the pay packet.
HansNL, I completely agree. Your short piece is much better written than my long account with example. If I could appreciate you, I would have given you 10x more votes.
Given the course of the discussion and the incomprehension among some, I would like to express my support for the views expressed in the contributions of Sjaak S and HansNL.
Moderator: your comment does not comply with our house rules
Dear Gringo,
An iPad is a tablet and not a mobile phone. I even
nothing at all with Apple. Samsung is much better in my opinion
and much cheaper but that aside.
Your son had a nice Samsung Mini Galaxy for 4600 baht.
That is more than 100 euros and seems like a nice gift for a 14-year-old boy.
success
YES
Moderator: Gringo had already stated in a response that it was an iPhone.