Column: The school principal from la la land…

Our school has been “run” for almost three years by a headmistress who has lived comfortably in the 17th century since time immemorial.

Faithful reader, do not immediately think of the VOC mentality, Rembrandt and Antonie van Leeuwenhoek, but rather of frowning at the idea of ​​bacteria as pathogens, laughing at the assumption that the plague comes from rats and nodding sarcastically at the suggestion that the earth could revolve around the sun...

Over the past few weeks I've been working my ass off on a skit with five students from the Drama Club. After three weeks there was a script and the many rehearsals had led to acceptable acting performances.

Especially Tientip, who travels to the US next week for a ten-month exchange project, played the stars from heaven as Britney, “the Friend from Hell”.

The script, written by the students, was about teenage vicissitudes, growing pains, materialism and peer pressure...

Yesterday afternoon I was called to the headmistress who, when she's not at the hairdresser and getting a new Imelda Marcos helmet sprayed on, lives in an ice-cold office with dozens of portraits of herself on the wall.

The most notable portrait, a 'can't-miss' portrait, is a life-sized photograph of Her Majesty, dressed in a dazzling pineapple-yellow Thai silk suit, peering graciously into her office. On the ground is a powerful spotlight that illuminates this scene at night. The office of a madman.

I plopped into the leather sofa directly across from her desk, which resembled an operating table in that it showed no signs of work. She sat there like a sphinx with her helmet. With pursed lips she lisped:

– mr. Cor, yours….ssskit, no good..
Not good?
– Not Appropriate..
Not appropriate?
– Too much…not Thai…
You mean, not enough rice planting…? (sarcasm always eludes her)
– Too muschss…Bangkok…
And not enough La La Land? (cynicism is a concept of Mars, a planet she never visits)

Her Highness speaks virtually no English, which is why I love these conversations and have not yet been fired.

I do apologise..(gentle nod, her neck cracking slightly)

I left the office. In September she will die. She is transferred to another school, which will try to help her to the philistines with the same infantile worldview she has.

I wonder if she's ever heard of Facebook. Ten to one she thinks it's a face cream...

Cor Verhoef, July 21, 2010.

Postscript: The headmistress has been gone for three years. We now have a director. That's great because he's never at school.