'We will hold hands tighter'

It came as a shock four months ago: the abbot of the famous forest monastery Suwandavanaram in Kanchanaburi and founder of the Maya Gotami foundation had shed his habit after almost 40 years to marry his secretary Suttirat Muttamara.

After the couple was spotted on Suvarnabhumi on their way to Japan, gossip surfaced on social media: the monk was allegedly drugged by her, she allegedly kidnapped him, she allegedly blackmailed him. Suttirat was criticized for posting pictures of them on Facebook. And were they already having an affair when she worked for him as a secretary?

After four months of silence, Mitsuo Shibahashi (62), a monk known as Phra Mitsuo Gavesako, recently came out. In two paperback books he tells the truth behind his decision to leave the order of monks. And wife Suttirat spoke with Bangkok Post to give her view on the gossip and backbiting.

The dark side of social media

On social media, Mitsuo writes that digging into other people's private affairs and posting the results on Facebook — some true, some false, some fabricated to defame others' families — is odious behavior. It leads to disagreements and destroys peace in the society instead of creating harmony.

“The dark side and the danger of the social network is that it can spread that information or accuse someone without any evidence. A person's reputation can be seriously damaged by mere rumors from certain groups of people. We regard others' mistakes as significant and our own as the eye of a needle. We say that other people's farts smell foul, and we don't care about our own stench.'

Suttiratt, 52, a beauty company owner and a graduate of anti-aging medicine, says she used to check the internet every day to see what was written about them, until her husband told her to stop because it just made her tense. of became. “When the scandal broke, he said it would be an endless discussion if we continued to respond to the criticism. And it would look like we were making excuses. He said it was better to write a book because in a book you can explain things in detail. Now is the time to speak.'

Have we sinned, she asked Mitsuo

Mitsuo's decision also came as a surprise to her. She had worked for him as a secretary for two months when he announced his decision. She hadn't expected that. "He told me he felt like we had been connected in some way in our past lives." Later after their marriage in Japan, Mitsuo repeated those words in a video clip: "In my past lives, she must have been my soulmate – my support and partner."

For Mitsuo, it was not a question of taking off his habit. “If a monk has feelings of love for a woman and he continues to wear the saffron robe, it is simply inappropriate. A disgrace to Buddhism. If that person continues to live as a monk, he is not a true monk," he writes.

When Suttiratt recovered from the shock, she asked Mitsuo: Isn't it all wrong, isn't it a sin? Would the decision stand in the way of Enlightenment? Mitsuo's answer reassured her, “You have not sinned. You weren't the cause. My mind was the cause and you were a factor.'

What now? The couple continues to preach Buddhism by conducting dhamma courses in both Thailand and Japan. Mitsuo is good at that and he owes his reputation to it. "What happened only increased my love for her," Mitsuo wrote. "We will hold hands more tightly so that our minds are not disturbed by outside pressure."

(Source: Bangkok Post, October 8, 2013)