Thai barkwanci

By Tino Kuis
An buga a ciki Al'umma
Tags: ,
Maris 8 2022

Shin barkwanci na Thai ya bambanta da humor na Dutch? Ban sani ba. Yawancin barkwanci ba shakka na duniya ne kawai saboda raha ba ta san iyaka ba, wasu suna da miya ta Thai. Ina tsammanin yanayin yaren Thai na iya zama mafi gayyata don barkwancin harshe.

Barkwanci na yau da kullun

Waɗannan sun fito ne daga littafin barkwanci na Thai mai suna 'Just not yet a dirty joke'. Irin wannan barkwanci ne da Thais suke so.

Kwararrun likitan hakori

Wani mutum ne ya kai yarinya zuwa gidansa. Kafin ya zuba gilashin ya wanke hannunsa. Bayan ya cire kayansa a cikin ɗakin kwana, ya sake wanke hannunsa.

Budurwa: Dole ne ku zama likitan hakori. Mutum: "Hakika, ta yaya ka sani?" Yarinya: "Suna wanke hannayensu akai-akai".

Bayan wani lokaci, zaman lafiya ya dawo. Sai yarinyar ta ce: "Hakika kai ƙwararren likitan hakori ne".

"Yaya haka?" mutumin ya tambaya. "To", yarinyar ta ce, "Ban ji komai ba!".

Bai zo ba

Wani mutum ya ziyarci likita. Ya dade da aure amma har yanzu babu yara. Likitan ya ba wa mutumin kwalba kuma ya ce: “Dole ne mu fara duba maniyyinka. Saka wannan a cikin wannan kwalban ku kawo nan da nan."

Bayan 'yan kwanaki, mutumin ya koma ga likita, amma da komai a cikin kwalba. Ya bayyana cewa: “Likita, na gwada da hannuna na dama da hannun hagu da kuma hannaye biyu, sai na kira matata amma hakan bai yi nasara ba. Mun kuma tambayi makwabcin……” “Shin kuma kun haɗa da maƙwabcin?” ihu likitan a fusace. "Eh likita, amma babu daya daga cikinmu da ya iya bude vial!"

Zafi da sanyi

Wasu tsofaffi ma’aurata sun ziyarci likita don duba lafiyarsu na shekara-shekara. Likitan ya bayyana cewa mutumin yana koshin lafiya kuma ya tambaye shi ko akwai wasu matsaloli. "Eh," in ji tsohon. "Lokacin da na yi soyayya da matata a karon farko, ina zafi sosai kuma a karo na biyu na yi tsananin sanyi." Likitan bai san abin da zai yi da matsalar ba, amma ya yi alkawarin yin tunani a kai. Ya kira matar ta shigo. Bayan ya duba ta sai ya kawo matsalar mijinta.

Matar ta bayyana da murmushi: "A karo na farko, likita, shine ko da yaushe a cikin Afrilu, kuma a karo na biyu a watan Disamba!"

Ma'aikata

Wani tsoho dan shekara casa'in ya auri wata 'yar fulawa. Bayan wata tara suka tafi wurin likita tare. "Matata tana da ciki." Inji mutumin.

Likitan ya dube su da tambaya na ɗan lokaci kuma ya ce: “Zan ba ku labari, ku saurara da kyau. Wani dattijo mai mantuwa ya taba yawo cikin daji. Maimakon bindiga, da gangan ya ɗauki laimansa kawai. Nan da nan sai wata damisa ta yi tsalle daga cikin daji. Ya dauki manufarsa da laimansa da BOOM, da harbin farko damisa ya fadi ya mutu."

“Hakan ba zai yiwu ba,” in ji tsohon, “lalle wani ne ya kawo agaji.”

"To, eh," in ji likitan. "Nima ina ganin haka."

Hasken kyandir a cikin haikalin yana taimakawa sosai

Ma’auratan da ba su haihu ba suna tuntubar wani limami da ake girmamawa. "Oh," in ji mahaifin reverend, "Wannan ya dace. Nan ba da dadewa ba zan ziyarci wani sanannen haikali a Bangkok inda mata masu son haihuwa ke kunna kyandirori. Da alama yana taimakawa sosai. Gara kada ka zo tare da ni domin shekara 15 zan tafi. Zan kunna muku kyandir." Ma'auratan Jira Rufa'i sau uku yana godiya ya tafi gida.

Bayan shekaru goma sha biyar, sufi ya koma ƙauyensa. Ya tuna ma'auratan da ba su haihu ba ya je ya duba su. Ya tarar da ’ya’ya goma sha biyu masu bariki iri-iri sai uwa.

“Ina mijinki?: ya tambayi sufaye da sha’awa. "Oh waccan", in ji mahaifiyar, "Ya tafi Bangkok jiya don hura kyandir!"

Barkwancin harshe

Wannan ya fi ɗan wahala saboda dole in bayyana shi. Biyu na farko sun koya daga kyakkyawar mace Thai, matar wani abokin Holland.

Ban sani ba

Wata rana na je gidan abinci inda na ci abincin rana tare da ma'auratan da aka ambata a sama. Na ajiye motar akan titi tare da dokar yin parking 'Left on even days, right on m days'. Na ajiye motar amma na kasa gane ko rana ce ko ban mamaki. Bayan gaisuwa na tambaye ta 'wan níe wan khôe rǔu wan khîe ná khrab', 'Yau ma ko da rana ce?' Ta amsa tana dariya, "Sǎmráp chán thóek thóek wan pen wan khîe!" "Kamar yadda na damu, kowace rana ita ce ranar poop!" A nan an yi amfani da kalmar khîe, wadda za ta iya nufin ko dai ba daidai ba ne ko kuma poo, amma an rubuta ta daban (resp. คี่ da ชี่).

Mantuwa kuma ya manta da zube

Poop kuma. Na taɓa gaya wa matar da ke sama cewa na manta wani abu kuma na ƙara da 'phǒm khîe luum' 'Na manta sosai'. Wacce ta ce 'tàe mâi luum khîe ná' 'Amma ba ka manta da yin poop, ko?'

Har ila yau, ana ba da barkwanci game da baƙi waɗanda suke kuskuren furta Thai a hanya mai ban dariya.

Hawan doki da karen kare

Na ƙarshe tare da poop. Ina ganin an gyara tsuliya.

Wani baƙo ya ziyarci makarantar hawan doki. Yana cewa 'Phǒm chôhp khîe mǎa'. "Ina son kifin kare." Yana so ya ce 'Phom chôhp khìe máa' 'Ina son hawan doki'. Ya sami sautin khie da maa kuskure, a cikin jumla ta farko sautunan suna faɗuwa (khîe poo) da tashi (mǎa kare), a cikin jumlar dama ta biyu ƙasa ce ( hawan khìe) da babba (máa doki).

Siyar da tikiti ko jikin ku

Wani baƙo ya shiga sana’a inda yake tunanin ana sayar da tikitin jirgi. Ya yi jinkiri domin kawai ya ga wata yarinya a bayan tebur kuma ya yi tambaya: 'Khoen khǎi toea mái', sannan ya bugi kai. Yace 'toea' da tsakin sautin wato 'jiki' 'kina siyar da jikinki? Karuwa ce?' in ji shi. Kamata ya yi ya furta tǒea tare da sautin tashi saboda wannan yana nufin 'tikiti'.

Snow da kare shit

Wani baƙo ya taɓa shiga tattaunawa da wani ɗan ƙasar Thailand wanda ya tambayi inda ya fito. "Sweden," ya amsa. 'Aôw, nǎaw mâak mâak ná' 'Oh, sanyi a wurin, ko ba haka ba?', in ji Thai. 'Dan Sweden: 'Châi, hǐe mǎa tòg thóek thóek wan!' "Tabbas, karnukan karnuka suna fada kowace rana!" Kamata ya yi ya ce 'hì má' maimakon 'hǐe mǎa' da gajeren wasali guda biyu da ƙarami mai sautin murya (wato 'hima', dusar ƙanƙara' kamar yadda yake a cikin Himalayas 'dutsen dusar ƙanƙara') amma ya yi amfani da dogayen wasulan guda biyu da sautunan tashi biyu.

Jakadiya da baya

Wani lokaci nakan yi wasa da kaina, amma wannan ba abin farin ciki ba ne kuma ya fada cikin ruwa.

Na taba ziyartar Ofishin Jakadancin Holland, amma na ci karo da wata rufaffiyar kofa da alamar 'An Rufe saboda biki'. Na dan bata rai na ce da mai gadin. 'Sew tòe:t pai nǎi'. "Ina Mr Ass ya tafi?" 'Tòe:t' tare da rashin jin daɗi -t- kuma ƙaramar sautin shine 'butt' amma 'thôe: t' tare da mai son -th- da faɗuwar sautin a cikin 'jakada'. Dole ne mai gadi ya yi tunani: 'Kuna da wani farang wawa wanda yake tunanin ya san Thai!'

Uku na gaba, zan yi gaskiya, na dauko daga gidan yanar gizo. Wadannan sun shiga rukunin 'Wace dabba ce ke tafiya da kafafu hudu da safe, biyu da rana, da yamma kuma kafafu uku? Amsa: mutum: a matsayin jariri, babba da tsoho mai sanda.

Gilashin

Tambaya: Mie kâew síep bai tem pai dôeay nanam. Bai nǎi mie nanam noi thîe sòet'. 'Akwai gilashi 10 cike da ruwa. Wanne gilashi ne ya fi ƙarancin ruwa?'

Amsa: 'Bai tĥie hòk' 'Gilas na shida'. Wannan lamuni ne akan kalmar 'hòk', wanda zai iya nufin duka 'shida' da 'faɗuwa a kan'. Don haka kuna furta 'gilashin shida' daidai da 'gilashin da ya fadi'.

Ganuwar dutse mai tsayi

Tambaya: 'Mie sìep khon juun bon nâa phǎa khon thîe thâorai tòk nâa phǎa taal' 'Mutane goma suna tsaye a saman wani dutse mai tsayi. Nawa ne suka faɗo?'

Amsa: 'Khon thîe kâaw' 'Na tara'.

Wannan lakabi ne akan kalmar 'kâaw' wanda zai iya nufin duka 'XNUMX' da 'ci gaba' (harufar ta bambanta, เก้า resp. ก้าว). 'Khon thîe kâaw' na iya nufin 'mutum na tara' ko 'mutumin da ya ɗauki mataki na gaba'.

Fatalwa

Tambaya: 'Phǐe arai eùj thîe mâi nâa kloewa.' "Wane fatalwa ne ba tsoro?"

Amsa: "Phǐesûua!" 'A malam buɗe ido!'

'Phǐe' fatalwa ce amma 'phǐesûua' malam buɗe ido ne

Kalami

Kamar sauki.

Malam: "Wane kalar teku?"

Dalibi: "Baki, yallabai!"

Malam: "Me yasa kake tunanin haka?"

Dalibi: 'Saboda akwai abubuwa da yawa a ciki!'

'Meuk' na nufin duka 'tawada' da 'squid' a cikin Thai.

Sources:

เฉียดอนาจาร โดย อุ้ยหน่่า 'Ban zama datti ba' by Oeina

rikker.blogspot.com/search/label/jokes?max-results=20

An buga shi a baya akan Trefpunt Thailand.

13 Responses to "Thai humour"

  1. Martian in ji a

    Ina ganin za a iya kara masa wannan.
    Gr. Martin

    Wani Fleming ya tafi kamun kifi wata rana a Wallonia kuma ya kama carp uku.

    Lokacin da ya koma gida, wani ma'aikacin Walloon ne ya tare shi wanda bai fahimci mutanen Flemish sosai ba.

    Dole ne ya nuna lasisin kamun kifi kuma mai kamun kifi ya fitar da ingantaccen lasisin Walloon.

    Sai mai gadi zai dauki daya daga cikin carp din, ya shaka ta baya ya ce:

    Wannan ba kifin Walloon bane, wannan kifin Norwegian ne!

    Kuna da izini ga wannan?'

    Fleming ya fitar da izinin Norway.

    Mai gadi ya hukunta su, ya kama wani kifi.

    Ya sake jin kamshin baya. Wannan ba kifin Walloon bane, wannan kifi ne na Dutch!

    'Kuna da izinin Dutch?'

    Fleming ya shiga aljihunsa ya nuna wata takarda ta Holland.

    Mai gadi (hakika) ya dauki kifi na uku… ya shaka baya.

    'Wannan kifin Jamus ne, kuna da izini don wannan?'

    Kuma mafarauci ya sake shiga aljihunsa ya nuna lasisin Jamus.

    Mai kula da wasan yanzu ya fusata sosai kuma ya yi wa Fleming ihu: '

    To daga ina kuke?'

    Fleming ya juyo, ya sauke wando, ya sunkuya ya ce:

    "Kai kamshi, kai ne gwani."

  2. Arjan in ji a

    Masoyi Timo,
    Wani yanki mai ban sha'awa na karatun… a ranar Lahadi.
    Na kasa daina dariya.
    Na gode!
    Arjan

  3. Martin in ji a

    Dear Tina,
    Nice yanki game da humor na Thai. Abin takaici, Thai na bai yi kyau sosai ba har zan iya gane barkwancin harshe. Har yanzu, ina da tambaya game da barkwancin yare na farko.
    Kuna magana ne game da "khie" tare da haruffa ค da ช.
    Idan muka yi la’akari da kwatancen da ke tsakanin ค da ข, ban fahimci rudani a cikin Thai ba saboda na farko baƙar fata ce mai ƙarancin aji kuma na biyu babban ɗaya ne. Wanda hakan yana nufin na farko yana da faɗuwa, na biyu kuma ƙarami ne.
    Za a iya bayyana mani daidai yadda wannan ke aiki?
    Godiya a gaba.

    • Eric in ji a

      Tino babu shakka yana nufin คี่ da ขี้. Kalmomi daban-daban guda biyu, amma duka biyun suna furta iri ɗaya tare da faɗuwar sautin faɗuwa.

      ขี่ tare da ƙaramin farar ƙasa yana nufin hawa (a kan keke, doki, da sauransu)

    • Tino Kuis in ji a

      Dear Marina,
      A koyaushe ina yin ƴan kurakuran rubutu a cikin Yaren mutanen Holland da wasu kaɗan a cikin Thai, koda bayan duba sau biyar. Kun gano kuskure kuma hakan yana magana don ilimin ku na Thai.

      Lafazin 'm' da 'poo' iri ɗaya ne a cikin Thai, wato khîe. Na rubuta daidai คี่ don 'm' amma kuskuren ชี่ don 'poo'. Tabbas wannan ya kamata ya zama ขี้ tare da ข ไข่ -kh- khài da a อ้ máai thoo. Ƙananan aji -kh- ค yana da อ่ máai èek don haka sautin faɗuwa ne, babban aji -kh- ข yanzu yana da อ้ māi thoo don haka kuma sautin faɗuwa. Sauƙi, daidai?

      • Martin in ji a

        Dear Tina,
        Na gode da sharhinku. Abin farin ciki, Thai ɗinku har yanzu ya fi nawa kyau, saboda ba zan iya samar da wannan sauƙi mai sauƙi da kaina ba tukuna.
        Amma bege yana ba da rai kuma na ci gaba da karatu.

  4. Rob in ji a

    Akwai masu kyau sosai, musamman na tsohon damisa yana da kyau!

  5. Hans in ji a

    Hi Tino,

    Da farko dai, kyawawan barkwanci, mafi yawansu kuma suna da sauƙin fahimta a cikin Yaren mutanen Holland.
    Na ga kuna magana kuma kuna fahimtar kyakkyawar kalma ta Thai. Kuma ku fahimci dalilin da yasa zaku iya fadowa a fuskar ku cikin Thai idan ba ku da dama.
    Domin waɗancan barkwancin suna da daɗi kuma ni ma na samu hakan. Domin ni kaina na yi kuskure a ƴan lokuta da kuskuren rashin fahimta. Misali, na taba yin odar tarin zakaru daga wata matashiya mai siyarwa. Yayin da nake tsammanin na yi odar gungun matasa ayaba. A kan kuncinta nan da nan na gane cewa ba na amfani da sautin da ya dace ba. Ni ma na yi babban kuskure lokacin da na yi ƙoƙarin bayyana cewa wani lokacin dusar ƙanƙara takan yi a Holland. Kuma ta fahimci cewa akwai karnuka da yawa a Holland. Hakanan ana iya furta kalmar hoi maza ta hanyoyi daban-daban: mazan hoi na iya nufin: al'ada mai wari ko haila. Idan ka furta daidai; teku urchin, na taba gaya wa wani abokina cewa akwai ciyayi masu wari da yawa a cikin teku. Don haka zan iya ci gaba da ci gaba. Idan ka furta kalmar kyakkyawa (soeai) a cikin sauti mai faɗi, ba yana nufin ina ganin ke mace ce kyakkyawa ba, amma mace ce ta kawo miki sa'a. Yin odar milkshake na ayaba kuma na iya juya zuwa girgiza tare da dicks. Ko kuma idan ka ga babban buffalo (kwaai) ma za ka iya yin kuskure: dubi abin da babban zakara ke yawo a wurin. (mai busa saniya)
    Amma a daya bangaren, shi ma yana sa shi jin daɗi idan kun yi kuskure sau ɗaya a wani lokaci. Yaren Thai ya daɗe.
    Hans

  6. Eric in ji a

    Na karanta wannan a wani wuri:

    Wani farang yayi ƙoƙarin yin odar kofi tare da madara a cikin gidan abinci.
    A cikin Thai, "don saka madara a ciki" shine ใส่นม sài nom, tare da gajerun wasulan guda 2. Maimakon haka, ya yi amfani da dogon wasali mai suna ส่ายนม sàai nom, ma’ana “kaɗa ƙirjinka” 🙂
    Mai jiran gadon ta kalli cup A dinta ta girgiza kai tana murmushi tace ไม่มี mai mee “bani da haka” ta juya ta tafi ta bar mai farang cikin tsananin rudewa...

    • Tino Kuis in ji a

      Eric,
      Wannan yana da ban sha'awa sosai, musamman saboda gajere ne kuma mai daɗi!

      Babu shakka kalmar Thai mafi kuskure ta bakin baƙi ita ce kalmar สวย sǒeway 'kyakkyawa, kyakkyawa, kyakkyawa', tare da sautin tashi. Amma yawanci ana kiranta da flat meanone ซวย 'soeway' ma'ana 'rashin sa'a, rashin sa'a, mara amfani' wani lokaci ma 'la'ananne'. Don haka kalmar zagi. Talakawa matan Thai!

  7. Simon in ji a

    Na riga na fuskanci cewa ina son soyayyen shinkafa da kaza. An samu soyayyen shinkafa da kwai
    Da wahalar furta ga farang. Har ila yau tare da kalmomi na nesa da na kusa. Zai iya zama mai rudani a cikin taksi.

  8. Jack S in ji a

    Ba wasa ba, amma a makon da ya gabata na yi ɗan gajeren tattaunawa mai tsanani da matata: muna gidan waya kuma tana so ta taimake ni, ko da yake su ma sun fahimci isasshen Turanci a kantin sayar da su kuma sun nemi ambulan. Kada ku tambaye ni game da lafazin, amma ta yi amfani da kalmar waƙa kuma ina tsammanin tana son ambulan biyu. A'a, na ce dan a fusace, daya kawai nake so...
    Waƙa - gajeriyar magana tana nufin ambulaf… ɗayan waƙar na biyu ana magana kaɗan kaɗan.
    Lokaci ne irin wannan lokacin da nake tunanin ba zan taɓa samun ragi ba ...

    Amma kuma…. kyawawan barkwanci a sama!

    Ga wani mai kyau daga wani sani na:
    คอกสัตว์คืออะไร

    Karin bayani Karin bayani Image caption Karin bayani Ɗaukaka"

    Sa’ad da yarana ƙanana, kowace safiya na Kirsimeti nakan karanta su daga Littafi Mai Tsarki na iyali game da asalin wannan rana. Lokacin da ɗana ya isa magana, ya tambaye ni menene barga. Na dan yi tunanin yadda zan yi bayanin hakan don ya gane sannan na ce; "Kamar dakin kanwarka ce amma banda sitiriyo."

    • Tino Kuis in ji a

      Jack,
      Kyakkyawan labari game da sito! nice A sama yana cewa 'Menene barga?

      Game da ambulaf da biyu. Ina tsammanin yana da ban dariya! Amma ba zan iya danne ƙwararrun makarantata ba.
      ซอง sohng mai lallausan tsakiyar sautin ambulan ne kuma สอง sǒhng tare da sautin tashi biyu ne. Kalmomin sun bambanta da sauti amma ba tsayi ba, tsayin su daya ne. (Haruffa ta farko –s- ta bambanta (kamar yadda yake a cikin soeway da sǒeway sama) a cikin rubutun kalmomi.)


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