Statement of the week: Many expats have only chosen Thailand because their partner lives there!
Many expats/pensionados have not chosen Thailand because they really want to stay there, but purely because their partner lives there and he/she did not feel like moving to the Netherlands or Belgium. That's this week's statement.
Whoever talks to some Dutch and/or Belgians who live in Thailand hears a huge lamentation: about Thai being lazy and stupid, the lack of rules, the traffic which is chaotic, the family nagging for money, the difficult and unhospitable visa rules , the cost of living which is becoming more and more expensive, the pollution, etc., etc.
You wonder what they do in Thailand and why they ever moved there? Whoever asks a bit more quickly comes to the core, it is the love for a woman or man that brought them to the Asian country and not a rational, well-considered choice. So exclusively based on feeling and significantly less with the mind.
You may wonder whether that is a good basis for such a far-reaching decision? Burn all your ships behind you, say goodbye to your homeland and your family and friends to seek your happiness elsewhere. It's quite a step.
If you confront them with that, they get defensive and they start listing why Thailand is so great. Quite strange and unbelievable if you just completely destroyed the country 5 minutes before.
Be honest and say that you did not choose Thailand, but for your partner who happens to live there and does not want to move to the low countries. You don't have to be ashamed of that and it also explains why you are so annoyed with the Thai and the way they live. You chose her and added Thailand.
Hence the statement of the week: Many expats have only chosen Thailand because their partner lives there!
Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Then respond and tell me why?
About this blogger
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Known as Khun Peter (62), lives alternately in Apeldoorn and Pattaya. In a relationship with Kanchana for 14 years. Not yet retired, have my own company, something with insurance. Crazy about animals, especially dogs and a lover of good music.
Enough hobbies, but unfortunately little time: writing for Thailandblog, fitness, health and nutrition, shooting sports, chatting with friends and some other oddities.
My motto: "Don't worry too much, others will do that for you."
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Disagree with the statement.
I ended up in Thailand through work around 15 years ago.
Enjoyed working and living here. Over the years I met my wife and have been married for 10 years now (without regrets). I had already made the decision to stay in Thailand before I met my wife.
Now more than 15 years in total living in Thailand and still fine to my liking.
Of course, things have changed here over the years, but all in all, no reason for me to turn my back on Thailand.
Oh and we all know the complainers about the bad exchange rate, VISA application, traffic, etc.
Learn to live with it and if you don't like it and people are only here to tear Thailand down I would say "pack up and go"
Greetings from a still very satisfied person who lives and continues to live in Thailand with great pleasure
Anthony
Plus 1 here, work and then the fun and still my job
Would go to Brazil after 3 years, but chose to stay here (Asia).
In my opinion, Thailand is the best option to stay in Asia with Indonesia as a close second
Money not for me.
I first lived in the Netherlands with my Thai wife for 5 years and then got the chance to work from Thailand.
We both liked this option and took it.
Unfortunately, the work stopped after a few years, but I was now hooked on the isaan.
We continued to live here and are still happy with the step to Thailand.
Living day by day and we don't have to do anything anymore, but we can do a lot.
In Thailand the highs are high and the lows are low. Everything has been said and explained with that.
That statement does not count for me, I live in Thailand because I decided in an earlier holiday to live there after my retirement.
I have found peace with friendly people and I love the sun and nature.
Live near Chanthaburi where there is a very healthy climate.
I'm having a great time alone, but I do have some help from a good friend every now and then.
Hope to live there for years to come, but it is becoming increasingly difficult with your state pension and a small pension.
In a few years I will have to go back if that baht drops even further and your pension is no longer adjusted.
Partially agree, we first lived together in NL for 15 years and now in TH for 6 years.
An important reason for us was that my employer was going to reorganize and some of the “older employees” (I was 49 at the time) were declared redundant. In our view, a reasonable arrangement was offered, too little to live on in NL but sufficient to live in TH. In NL I should look for another job and here I can now do what I feel like. My wife was struggling a bit with health (knees) and could no longer work properly without frequent absenteeism and she didn't feel like it either.
So that's why we made the decision to move here.
If I had had a partner from another country, I would most likely have moved too.
In addition, in the current time with social media you no longer have to burn ships, but you can easily and cheaply keep in touch with the home country. Traveling for family visits is also affordable in my opinion and not as expensive (relatively) as it was 30 years ago.
I also sometimes get annoyed by some things here, but I did that in NL too, but that is not such that my joie de vivre is affected by it.
Strongly disagree. Health, warmth and no winters in the south. The way of life, room for creativity, less stress and frustrations due to less discrimination, less crime, no asylum seekers in my neighborhood, still cheaper and a lot of reasons and then …… yes, beautiful ladies live there and interesting for a relationship but not to go and live with the Oriental lady in the Netherlands or elsewhere, but in her own country so that she remains the Oriental and not Westernized.
We have been living in Thailand for 10 years. To continue to enjoy Thailand the most, I would advise everyone to go back to B of NL every now and then for a few months. That is the best remedy to realize how nice and relaxed and simple life is here. Never have to think about what clothes to put on today. All days sun. Never had to make an appointment at a dentist, garage or hairdresser. Come in and be served immediately, both at banks, insurers and others. Free parking everywhere, usually right in front of the door. Your most trips with a scooter that consumes almost nothing. Riding that scooter in your shorts and shirt. Helmet is recommended, but you can do without. Traffic fine is usually 5 euros. Car and scooter maintenance at 1/4 the price of ours. Eating with 6 for 30 euros. Take a bus for 100 kilometers far and pay 100 Bht. Thailand is paradise for not rich people.
We are still enjoying ourselves in Belgium…..visiting some friends….something different to eat and drink and above all enjoy the somewhat more extensive cultural activities and possibilities. But after a few months we can't be back to Thailand fast enough.
Also tell us that we only go to the West in the summer months. In the winter months we can no longer think about it. We'll leave that boring gray dead mess behind.
Do not agree with. We will be married for 41 years in a few months and have lived in the Netherlands for more than 25 years. When I was able to take early retirement 15 years ago, we moved to Thailand mainly on my initiative. It was not necessary for my wife, because she had a great time in the Netherlands. I no longer and my wife understood that and I had worked enough. We live in a village just outside Buriram and the traffic is not that busy there and the increase in the cost of living is not too bad. And visa problems I never had. Just get your act together. So I still live here very pleasantly and have good contact with family and fellow villagers. I haven't been to the Netherlands for 9 years and I don't think I will come to the Netherlands again.
Dear Rob
Have read your comment and you live near Buriram me too.
Have a question div read books, would like to give them away, are you interested?
My email is [email protected]
Disagree with the statement.
I was born in the Tropics and lived there for 14 years. All those years I spent in Ned. lived, the urge to go back remained. When I met my Thai wife she wanted to live in Ned for a few years. living. I wanted to live in Thailand, . . and so said, so done. My wife likes the holidays but always wants to go back to her country. I think, I am actually sure that we can adapt more easily to Thailand than Thai women to the Netherlands.
Has there ever been a statement about that?
Greetings from warm Thailand.
Alex Pakchong
Now more than 10 years in Thailand. At the time I made the choice not to go through life alone, with the prospect of sitting behind the geraniums and enjoying myself from the age of 62. I met a Thai woman on the internet and had gotten to know Thailand a bit through a tour. A first visit to her 20 days, pink cloud of course and as green as grass. Then made the switch, house arrested in the Netherlands, I was still that wise. Dame turned out to be a total blunder. After some messy and sometimes tragic relationships in my rented house in Thailand, I met someone with whom I have been living for over 7 years now.
There are hooks and eyes to that too, perfection is a thought and reality is reality.
In short, I chose a woman, but also the country that I had discovered on my tour. Now 10 years later and 72, would I have to make that choice again, then summer Netherlands and winter yes, just say it ..
In my opinion I agree. Just not in a negative sense. I have known Thailand since I was 23 and have been there very often during my XNUMX years as a flight attendant.
But because of my many travels I came to almost every country on this globe (ok, half then) and at the time I was faced with a choice: Brazil or Thailand. Japan was also an option, but because of the strict lifestyle of the Japanese, I decided against it.
I then met my wife during a holiday in Thailand and because I really like to come to Thailand, the choice was not difficult for me.
Brazil was also a big favorite of mine. I also came there very often because I was married to a Brazilian.
However, you can eat more varied in Thailand than in Brazil. I like Asian food more than Western food, but Asian includes Chinese, Japanese, Indonesian, Indian and of course Thai. I would miss that in Brazil. The Asian food I tasted there wasn't great, except for the Japanese. That was better than here in Thailand.
But the other way around, what I like in Brazil, I can also largely make here myself. Except for the Caipirinha... 😉
Then there were two more factors: crime and the value of the Euro… both not exactly positive in Brazil. In contrast, Thailand is a kind of paradise.
I really like living in Thailand, but I don't know if I will stay here without my wife. Then it might be best that I take another look in other countries (provided that I still feel fit enough - if I lost my wife at 80, then I think I would stay for the rest of the time - provided my income is sufficient).
Now a few minutes ago I was telling my wife that… Her family was also talking about it… for example what would happen if she died before me… what would happen to the house? the eldest sister asked. My mother-in-law said nothing. Then the son-in-law will continue to live there, because both have concluded a contract… pfff…
In any case, I now like living in Thailand because I live there with my Thai wife. I'm very happy with it. There is almost nothing that I miss from the Netherlands. And certain things you miss, because it's from a past life. The foods I miss from the Netherlands all make you fat… so it's a good thing they aren't there.
Weather? So no. The enormous arrangement with laws and regulations in the Netherlands? No… I don't want to grumble about the Netherlands, but it was never an option for me to continue living there. The Netherlands has a stranglehold on you. Insurance, taxes, fees, extra payments, obligations and whatnot are stifling. Here in Thailand I only have few things to worry about. No fingers being lifted when I don't meet the standard.
It is not paradise here, but it is closer than the Netherlands…
Do not agree with. I got married 38 years ago and took my wife to Belgium. She adapted well and quickly, had a good job and many Belgian friends. When I was able to retire early 13 years ago, I asked my wife to live in Thailand. She agreed, but not in Isaan and in the vicinity of the village where her family lives. After all, there is nothing to see or experience there. So it has become Nongpru, or the darkside from Pattaya. Sufficiently far away from all those tourists and yet only a 10 km drive and you have everything. And nice and warm weather (if it doesn't rain) anyway. Haven't been to Belgium for 4 years and never look to get there again.
My Thai partner preferred to live in the Netherlands after several 3-month visits, but I prefer to live in Thailand.
In 2009 I was in the Netherlands for the last time, for a total of 21 days.
After about five days I was actually tired of my own country, felt like a tourist.
Never thought of going back, Not even for a week.
With Line ed I have contact with family and friends, great.
I also moved to Thailand “for love”, and still live here, without love, so to speak.
I have known Thailand and South East and East Asia since 1963. Have sailed the KJCPL line services for almost 20 years
From Asia .. married to a Dutch woman, who sailed a lot .. In 1990 I started working ashore.
Then we held our annual holiday in the Europe winters in Pattaya. We also had some homesickness for the East. After 10 years in the Netherlands, we moved to Italy where I set up a company office. I worked there for 10 years. My wife passed away at the end of that period. Consider it for a while. But sold my house in the Netherlands pretty quickly. Have been living here since Ocy 2010. I didn't like the Netherlands. Don't like the weather and don't like the Dutch metality. Here I live in Pattaya Jomien and in our house in Sai Ta Ku (Ban Kruat Buri Ram) Here I live with my Thai male partner. This is very pleasing.
You have to adapt to Thai customs. This also applies to local food.
The statement does apply to many Dutch people, they would have been better off staying in the Netherlands
Everyone will have had their own reasons why they exchanged Europe for the warmer Thailand.
Depending on the taste of how one wants to live, Thailand is not always cheaper, as most may have thought at the beginning.
Someone with a small pension and an AOW who can live with a small minimum health insurance and the daily eating and living habits of a Thai, certainly lives more cheaply in Thailand than in Europe.
Only if this same person wants good insurance, and in the long run does not always want to be satisfied with the Thai eating and living habits, will he immediately have to deal with a completely different price tag.
Surely there will be people who are having the best time, but in such a discussion I usually miss those people who are not having a good time at all, and who do not like to admit in public that they regret their choice once made. to have.
Usually these are indeed those who followed their wife in a euphoria of love, who already had a house or a piece of land in her native village, and are now almost dying of loneliness.
Strange that almost only people respond here, who suddenly find everything much better than in their home country, while apart from the sunny weather, one could make a list of what is actually clearly worse.
Would like these people who don't think it's so great afterwards, who are also there with great certainty, also drop their message here.
My wife and I have been together since 1994 and married in 2000. She doesn't actually want to go back to Thailand: she has many friends in the Netherlands. She sees her family every year during holidays. In NL she has a nice job and earns a good salary. But I don't feel like in NL anymore. NL has changed so much that I no longer recognize the country and people. There are so many alienating movements going on that it will worry me. NL is becoming more aggressive: in the month of December this manifests itself mainly through the (old and new) media. NL is also becoming more intolerant: we all have it so good in NL that the fear has struck everyone's heart to have to share even a bit of it or to lose it to someone else. NL is also becoming increasingly poorer socially, while money is sloshing up against the plinths. But “the polder” has not been able to shape a new pension system after 7 years of discussion, so pensioners are deprived of inflation corrections; because of the climate, a strange kind of politics is being practiced and the bill is placed with the simple citizen, daily life is becoming increasingly expensive, young people can no longer take out a mortgage, public transport can no longer be paid, parking costs a god's fortune.
So I choose life in TH because it is much easy there. I don't have to go all the way there yet. My wife doesn't want either: for the time being 8 months or less in TH and 4 months in NL for the (grand)children.
TH is not all pretty and wonderful. Surrounding countries of NL are too. Politically it is no good for a meter, but you should stay away from that anyway. TH is a complicated country, with many frameworks, unwritten rules and conventions. But if you know how to deal with it, you can move freely and happily.
Of course: you have to be able to withstand the heat, the sight of sometimes harrowing poverty, and you don't care if people go left when the right is more available. Let them do it: it has been done this way for centuries.
I consider myself lucky that my cradle was in NL, and that partly because of this I am now able to make those choices that a Thai cannot even dream of. The motives I have with regard to TH are of a completely different nature than that Thai women had/have with regard to their choice to (have to) leave TH.
And of course: if my wife's cradle had been in Laos or Indonesia, I would have reacted from there. But things run as they go, and let's just be happy that we know and can influence that course for a long time. That is also not given or granted to many Thai people.
Broadly agree with Frits' input
Choose part-time Thailand yourself, depending on the weather. avoid the hottest period Thailand
and also keep in touch with the children and grandchildren.
Then go and work in the Netherlands for another two months
so the additional costs of flying up and down are easily offset.
Don't worry about whether you are or will continue to be insured for medical expenses.
And if you really don't go anymore, having a safety net in the social Netherlands is still possible.
And my girlfriend likes it
In the twelve years we've been together , has never asked
to go back to the Netherlands one day.
Why Thailand is also her homeland, has her family and acquaintances and work
We can manage without each other for four months.
It is also nice to have your hands completely free, to go wherever you want.
I somewhat agree with the statement.
I chose Thailand because
– my partner is a very caring Thai woman who has a permanent job with the government, while with such a position she can only end up in a factory in the Netherlands.
– it would cost me a fortune to integrate her.
– because my pensions continued to be paid without a discount.
– because my health was/is greatly benefited by a warm climate
– because my pension would be much more expensive if I continued to live in the Netherlands.
– because I am co-insured for my medical expenses with my wife
I think these arguments apply to many of us.
Absolutely YES…..Without her I would have been here a long time ago. Nevertheless, I also have a good life here.. and btw you don't have to burn all your ships right? I can leave whenever I want. with my whole family, because they all have a Dutch passport.
It depends on how you look at it, but I do know one thing, we are treated in an unequal way here, my time will probably run out, but it is absolutely no paradise on earth here, in the Netherlands everything is better organized with regard to insurance going, we have to make some contribution, but it's well worth it, I'm glad I didn't burn my ships behind me, I don't think we're welcome here, and that will certainly become more and more clear to me when I get my visa must extend, sweet dreams its looking for some one, keep on walking don't look back.
I chose Thailand simply because I could get a teaching job here in Narathiwat. I already knew the country and the region from previous holidays and for me the opportunity to come and live here and work in a job at my level was the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. I am talking about the summer of 2016, two and a half years ago.
Been in a relationship with a beautiful local lady for quite some time now, but I only got to know her when I lived here and I certainly didn't come here for the ladies.
When I had a conversation with my tax advisor about my plan to move to Thailand with my Thai wife more than 10 years ago, he called me an economic refugee, because I seemed to have a rather bleak future in the Netherlands with my small pension and state pension. to go. Living in Thailand seemed to be a much better option. And luckily that turned out.
In fact, I have never regretted my choice.
I agree with the statement because I emigrated to Thailand for my wife. That was the most logical step because her 2 sons were 14 and 16 at the time. Now I have been in Thailand for almost 4 years and see both advantages and disadvantages of living in Thailand compared to the Netherlands. I could never have taken early retirement (age 59) in the Netherlands and still have a good life. I can do that here in the Isaan, also thanks to the sale of my Dutch home with a mortgage of approx. 50%. I would like to go back to the Netherlands for 2 weeks someday to introduce my wife to my family, but… living there again, I don't think so!
I was forced to choose to move to Thailand and move in with my wife, (she wanted to go to the Netherlands) she has a permanent job with a very good wage and she would never get the work she does here in the Netherlands.
By forced I mean that I lost my permanent job after I turned 40 and there were no jobs for the taking so it was temporary work, unemployment and short contracts and since our government wants you to have a permanent position or a contract for at least 3 years in a row otherwise they will send your wife back, the choice was easily made.
It took a while because of the crisis before I got the house sold well below the price, but yes I succeeded and now I travel back every year to work for about 20 weeks because now they are eager for staff. I don't really have to do it for that income, but I still keep my health insurance that way and every year still counts for the AOW, if the government doesn't increase it even further, I hope to get something from it again.
By the way, I was legally married in Thailand last year and now I have a Thai wife visa where I had to wait more than 3 hours for the 90-day notification last week, it was not a punishment because luckily there was a fair in the building on changwattana road . when I got my ticket there were 240 people in front of me. But yes, we are used to that by now, just like other inconveniences.
Everyone have a nice stay.
Had the perfect relationship for 2,5 years, traveled back and forth a lot, both me and my Thai wife.
However, she did not want to live here. while she had “nothing” over there, and I had a good job and my own house here.
Still hurts; but on the other hand: if she doesn't even try, then it will stop for me too.
After a few years of seeing her unhappy here, I would still have sold my house to try it together over there; but my opinion, if she doesn't even try, she's not worth it.
sad end of relationship.
Thailand will wait for me for a while (now only 35 years), if I already go there without a master's or bachelor's degree, I'm guaranteed to come back broke
I myself am of ThaiChinese origin and INDO = In the Netherlands Due to Circumstances of course my deceased wife (also INDO Thai Chinese) lived in Thailand for a while but yes there must be rice in the bowl
Downright No. My Thai partner, wonderful souvenir from the years I worked here, lives in the Netherlands, has the Dutch nationality and has also had a wonderful job as a government official for many years. Says: If my mother is no longer alive, I will not have to go to Thailand at all. I am retired, in the summer I like to work in our southern French holiday home and in the long winter months there is always something to do at our Thai country house, where no one else comes. Every now and then I jump on my motorcycle and then I go for a nice tour. This is how Joe Splinter gets through the winter in the Thai countryside, very calmly and also wonderfully far away from all relationships.
I think this is true for many. I myself was also planning this, not because I wanted to leave my country so much, but because of the love for my girlfriend. In Belgium it has become increasingly difficult to find a girlfriend. After all, you have to be perfect. Unfortunately my girlfriend had a motorcycle accident about 3 years ago. She was not wearing a helmet. In Thailand that is not a problem, after all, she will come back again according to the monks ……
Immediately after my divorce in Holland, I went to take a breather in Thailand, where I had never been before. After a wonderful month of adventures, impressions and the wonderful weather, it was winter in Holland, brrrrr. But what do you do in Holland, after that overwhelming first impression. So I put on the naughty shoes, now slippers, and sold the whole santeme stall in Holland and left it behind. Anyone who wants to visit me is welcome, but I will never go back, not even for a holiday! After 6 years in Thailand, now married to a Thai young beauty, have a daughter together, live in Hua Hin, a fashionable seaside resort and can recommend anyone who has that in terms of possibilities, come to Thailand and fall in love with the food, the almost always shining sun, the friendly Thais (with an extensive user manual) for me. Thanks to my Dutch divorce (which has cost a lot!
Peter's statement is somewhat simplistic. Life is not black and white, but there are many more factors that play a role in making decisions. You should know the whole package in order to give a good opinion. Every psychologist could give an explanation why the target group Peter is talking about acts the way it does. In my opinion it is sad and sad to move to Thailand for a possible love of your life, especially if this turns out not to be the case.
I also stay in Thailand to be with my wife with whom I have lived for twenty years, eleven of which in the Netherlands. Her heart is in Thailand because she came to the Netherlands when she was thirty. Then you are already formed and adapting and grounding is more difficult when you are much younger. Thailand and the Netherlands both have good and bad sides, but for me nothing beats that small country to which I owe everything.
If you only choose Thailand because your partner lives there…..you will eventually get in the way of your own happiness.
In principle I agree with the statement, but there are circumstances that sometimes tempt you to take an irrational step, so this is personal. As a starting point for myself, I lived in Amsterdam in the Dieselbuurt and was forced to move because the houses were demolished for high-rise buildings and expensive rental apartments. I was asked to agree to this, which was accepted by me, odv replacement equivalent or possibly even better replacement. However, what was offered to me was often more than half smaller, at least 3x as expensive and instead of a ground floor apartment with a garden, that is what I had been living there for 23 years, so compromises were made to me that were irrelevant to me. The conditions set by the housing association had of course confirmed in writing from me, due to a deadline of deportation September 1, 2018, I then decided to move to my home and family in Thailand, stupid stupid, stupid, because you leave everything behind for something you did not want but you were forced to because of the pressure of time., Now 6 months later you will be thrown out of the social environment in the shortest possible time and what binds you now AOW and Pension and for the rest find it out THANK YOU THE NETHERLANDS NOW 81 YEARS AND WORKED WITHOUT ONE TIME SOCIAL BENEFITS FROM 1954 TO 2018……
So many fascinating reactions, once again a brilliant subject from Peter, previously Koen in his own words!
The Thailand blog sells it and that is exactly what makes this forum so fun and interesting, every day. That should definitely be said, every now and then.
I like to come to Thailand regularly, so I always like to come home. In the conversations I have with compatriots in Thailand, I always notice that there are so many 'regret optants', whether or not soured. Such a pity. Thailand is a country that everyone loves. I have never met anyone who said to me: Thailand, I don't like that! But to live permanently in Thailand? Anyone who does not initially fall for the crushing charms of Thailand has no heart. But whoever allows himself to be crushed and after a while still does not see the downside, has no understanding.
A European retired couple. She is having a great time in Thailand. He can't stand the heat. Then what do you need? He reluctantly walks outside, she reluctantly sits in the cold AC room.
They sleep separately. He in an ice-cold room, she in a moderately cooled room. Not a simple situation, where a solution is not really available
Disagree. I came here to work.
My late father always said: where your work is, there is your homeland. And they bake bread everywhere.
He was right because even in Thailand bread is for sale.