Thousands of foreign men have been traveling to Thailand for years in the hope of finding true love Thai women. The Thai people call these foreigners 'farang', a term meaning 'foreigner' that was originally used for French soldiers who arrived in Thailand more than two hundred years ago.
There are many reasons why Thailand is attractive to these men. The hospitality of the Thai people, the emphasis on good manners and the beauty of Thai women in particular play a major role in this. Foreign men appreciate the elegance, femininity and traditional values of Thai women. In addition, Thai women are known for their ability to celebrate and enjoy life. Looking for a Thai bride, girlfriend or partner is an excellent idea, as long as the approach is positive and respectful. Over the years, Thai women of all social classes have used online dating to connect with both Thai and foreign singles, both in Thailand and abroad. Yet there lies a potential danger. Some foreign men who visit Thailand get involved with Thai bargirls or do not understand the subtle nuances of Thai customs and traditions, which often ends in disaster.
Cultural misunderstandings between foreign men and Thai women can lead to an unhappy ending, resulting in many disillusions. The stories about this are numerous. On the other hand, more and more foreign men every year discover the possibility of a wonderful new relationship and an enriching oriental lifestyle with a Thai woman, while the unfortunate experiences can often be found on websites that warn about the hidden dangers of Thai dating.
Who are the farang looking for a Thai partner?
Who are these farang or foreign men coming to Thailand? Many are older, divorced or feel excluded by the social environment in their own country. The shift in Western values, especially those surrounding the relationship between men and women, has challenged many of these men, and they are seeking a more traditional relationship with Thai women. Nowadays, however, there are also more and more younger, single foreign men coming to Thailand to meet Thai women. Most foreign men and Thai women who participate in this process are serious in their search. Success stories are numerous and far more common than the horror stories.
Internet dating
The global one online dating can have a positive influence. The phenomenon has the potential to enrich the lives of those involved, cultures and nations. Although most of the growth in Thai dating is now happening in the domestic market, there are more and more young people using the internet to meet Thai singles and foreigners both inside and outside Thailand. Many university-educated Thai women are more interested in broadening their social horizons than simply finding a foreign husband, and some also date Thai men. On the other hand, many young foreign men visit Thailand to experience the culture and traditions and build relationships with Thai women. It is important to remember that there are two different cultures, each with their own ideals and expectations. Success is often the result of mutual understanding.
There are many Thai women who would like to meet a farang for relationship, love and marriage. In addition to financial motives, there is also a sincere desire to get to know another culture and find true love and understanding. Although foreign men often have more financial resources, it would be incorrect to say that this is the main motivation. Many younger Thai women have completed their university education and are pursuing broader horizons. There are also middle-aged Thai women, often divorced or widowed, who are looking for a life partner. A third group consists of younger Thai women who are interested in short-term relationships with younger foreign men living in Thailand or visiting the country.
Where to live?
Some foreign men choose to live in Thailand with their new wives, but often the Thai partner moves to the foreign man's country. However, it is easier for the 'farang' to adapt to Thai society. We recommend this, provided the 'farang' has the necessary resources and is in a good position to do so. One should not underestimate the challenges a Thai partner faces when living abroad. Thai women have a strong preference for their own culture, which is truly one of their most charming qualities. They enjoy living together and participating in the simple things in life, such as eating together and enjoying each other's company. This is not always the case in many 'farang' cultures. Different climates, work patterns and attitudes can make it difficult for Thai women to move. Nevertheless, they are increasingly doing so. Any foreign man considering such a relationship should seriously consider the happiness and well-being of his future Thai partner.
The barmaid culture can confuse many foreign men
Focus on the mainstream. If you are a 'farang' and are looking for a Thai marriage partner, you should really find your future Thai wife within the mainstream of Thai society. There is a unique culture of Thai barmaids in the tourist areas of Thailand, which can be complicated for many 'farangs' as Thai women can have a more positive attitude towards what others see as prostitution. Many of these Thai women are sincere and see their work as a way to provide for their family while providing companionship. These services are very openly available in places like Bangkok, Pattaya and other resorts. However, most Thai women looking for a marriage partner look nothing like these barmaids.
Thai tradition and culture are key factors, but the Internet is a social force
Thai women have very traditional and conservative views on sex and the behavior of men and women before marriage. Here's where things get even more complicated. In Thai culture, it is customary for a man to make a financial contribution to the family when he marries a Thai bride. This often clashes with Western views and can lead to misunderstandings. However, the Internet has become an increasingly popular means for Thai women to meet foreigners or Thai singles. It has also changed the nature and number of Thai women participating in online dating within Thailand and worldwide. The Internet has provided Thai women with more social opportunities.
Thai dating sites on the internet
Internet dating websites have become very popular and successful among Thai women who choose to marry a 'farang', or who decide to meet their dream life partner among the Thai singles or foreign men. Almost all of these Thai women are polite, shy and decent and have made the conscious choice to pursue a life goal through the Internet. They are becoming increasingly computer savvy and are signing up for various sites where they can get in touch with 'farangs' all over the world, as well as more progressive Thai men. Many need help translating and ask friends to help chat with Internet friends. There are reports that some people are taking advantage of Thai women by promising to develop their profile or find a 'farang' partner for a fee.
You have to make an effort in Thai internet dating
Finding a Thai partner or love via the Internet requires effort and repeated use of the dating site. You will meet a small percentage of 'farangs' who only use the Thai woman as a kind of escort for a short holiday, but you will also find serious seekers. The majority of 'farangs' we encounter are looking for a long-term relationship or marriage, and they use the internet as a means to expand their social world and perhaps start a life with a Thai woman.
If you decide to find a Thai partner, do it seriously and with respect. Remember that a love relationship between a 'farang' and a Thai woman, like any other relationship, should be built on mutual respect and genuine feelings for each other. Also remember that this is a cultural exchange; be open and try to learn as much as you can about your Thai partner's culture and traditions. If you decide to live in Thailand with your Thai partner, make sure you adapt and feel included in the local community. This will make it easier for both of you to build a happy and satisfying relationship.
About this blogger
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My age officially falls into the category of 'elderly'. I've been living in Thailand for 28 years - try to do that. The Netherlands used to be paradise, but it fell into disrepair. So I went looking for a new paradise and found Siam. Or was it the other way around and Siam found me? Either way, we were good-natured.
ICT provided a regular income, something you call 'work', but for me it was mainly a pastime. Writing, that's the real hobby. For Thailandblog I'm picking up that old love again, because after 15 years of hard work you deserve some reading material.
I started in Phuket, moved to Ubon Ratchathani, and after a stopover in Pattaya I now live somewhere in the north, in the middle of nature. Rest never rusts, I always say, and that turns out to be true. Here, surrounded by greenery, time seems to stand still, but fortunately life doesn't.
Eating, especially lots of it – that’s my passion. And what makes an evening complete? A good glass of whisky and a cigar. That’s about it, I think. Cheers!
Photos, I don't do that. I always look ugly in them, even though I know Brad Pitt pales in comparison. It must be the photographer, I think.
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Apparently, I read that somewhere else once, sometimes a farang of biologically male sex and also apparently a woman goes to Thailand to live there with a Thai man or even to marry him here. So there would also be, yes, Thai bar boys/singles. Come on, I don't know, you never read about it on this blog. But it could well be possible
I always find it better to get to know the person and not rely too much on her/his cultural background. Not all Thais or all foreigners are equal.
A reasonable knowledge of a common language is a necessity, it can be English, Thai in Thailand or Dutch.
Well Nok, thanks for all the advice and I will certainly take it to heart.
I must say, Nok, that sometimes I look there into a pair of beautiful, dark, radiant eyes, and immediately forget everything, I detach myself from the earth and spontaneously fly over seas of happiness and lakes with unfulfilled longing.
My chilled Western heart thaws on the spot and a warm blanket of happiness envelops me…….
I hear her singing softly in my ears, it sounds like “Falang tang, falang tang, falang tang mak mak” I just write it as I heard it and I don't really know what it means.
I once asked at the hotel where I was staying, but the nice lady behind the counter immediately collapsed behind her counter with an unstoppable laugh and it took a few minutes before she dared to show herself again.
Well Sir, it's an old Thai song, it's really hard to translate for you, so you better sing it in Thai.
After saying this, she fell to the ground behind her desk for the second time, muttering “have a good night Sir” between laughs.
Anyway, I like it so I'll leave it as is.
And I would like to spontaneously make the flight for that lady in the green dress, but there is no name, number or anything, which is a shame.
But like I said, thanks for all the info......
Thai women traditional about sex and marriage? Haha, that seems straight out of the Thai Fever book. Yes, the country is much more hierarchical and at the top it's full of dinosaurs harping on the importance of 'tradition' and the like. But anyone who thinks that the man is really in control in a relationship will often come home disappointed. However, such a phrase that one is traditional works well in marketing, for men who are frustrated about “the Western woman” who is said to be “too emancipated”, “no longer feminine”. Well. If you would like to be enveloped by a friendly smile…
But by sticking the label “that's Thai, that's so different” it makes you blind to see the other person as an individual. In Thailand there will be more people who do something like this more often, and in the Netherlands they do the same thing more often, but it is not a different world. And then again, the person in front of you definitely doesn't have to fit into a stereotypical box. Try to see the individual, judge him/her on his/her own actions and don't explain it as “their culture” and “that's how they are”. There are plenty of nice men and women (and in between) in Thailand and the Netherlands, so if you take the other person seriously and treat them with respect, you will probably find someone nice.
NB: I just don't understand why it would be easier for the white nose to adapt to the other country than a Thai in Europe. Perhaps “the Thais” have been pumped full of nationalism for years, and some of them have a more difficult time dealing with “non-Thai” matters, but there are also plenty of people who are tired of all that. Both Thailand and the Netherlands have plenty of good and less good things to offer in terms of economy, culture, society, climate, environment, etc., so what suits you best just depends on you and your partner. I would not dare to say that it is easier or more pleasant for the white nose in Thailand than for a Thai in Europe.