Dear readers,
I have been in contact with a lady through a dating site for 3 weeks, now I want to go to Thailand at the end of October 2014 to meet her. In addition, her idea is to spend a few days in Bangkok in a hotel (to get to know each other better) and then perhaps continue to Pattaya to walk on the beach.
So my question is; am I in any danger here in the form of anything? She also does not respond to my request to come on Skype.
Thanks for any advice (I'm dealing with a strange remedy here).
With kind regards,
Color
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The world is full of dangers.
Likewise Thailand.
There is no one who can tell you if the lady is after your money or wants to share her life with someone.
You will have to judge that yourself.
Don't just rely on a sweet smile.
Also try to find out about her background.
Where do her parents live and are they rich or poor?
What kind of education did she have.
You say I have met a Thai lady through a dating site, but in reality you have never met her, not even seen her, except probably a picture, and with this you want to meet in Thailand. Look dating sites can't all be trusted either, and if you don't watch out you will be lied to, isn't it very strange that she doesn't want to come on Skype? Have you asked her why not, have you actually spoken to her? If you've never actually spoken to or seen her how do you know it's her chatting with you, I've seen women in an internet cafe let someone who can write good English chat for them for a fee, I don't have any experience with a dating site, but I would scratch myself before I would travel to Thailand on this basis, because all the information has been provided correctly by her. Of course you can be in danger or be faced with surprises, not so much because it is Thailand, because to avoid all prejudices about Thailand, this applies to every country in the world. But dear Cor, it may be that there is nothing wrong with it and you just have a nice date, also take a look at the Thailand blog because this subject has probably been written about before, and who knows, you will also become a bit wiser from this.
Dear Cor… BEWARE BEWARE BEWARE!!!!!!
Actually not too difficult… you have to keep one thing in mind: here in Thailand it is almost 95% about money. It's about being able to take care of her later. That is a fact in most cases. Where many foreigners go wrong is that they are too generous. They want to impress by paying a lot, by saying yes and amen to everything, by loading her with gold chains, by buying relatives and her vehicles, cell phones, etc.….
She lives in pattaya? I already see all warning lights flashing…
She doesn't want to Skype? Maybe she's in an internet cafe or a friend of hers writes for her because she doesn't speak English herself?
You can have a good time… but as soon as she starts whining or complaining about money she needs for her sick mother, or her kids or whatever…. walk away, no RUN away….
You may be lucky, but I think you have a trap set up for you and if she just doesn't do things and you let her, she already has you under control…. that will cost you a lot of money and suffering.
Hi cor
I would say listen to shaak.
Because I also tried it, but it was often ladies from a bar, etc
That is not to say that they are bad, but they are usually looking for one or more sponsors.
And you have to pay attention to what kind of photos they send, are they with family or in a bar.
Do they have a lot of gold and tattoos watch out and watch out.
For some it is normal work, because most of those who speak and write English are more experienced and know how to handle it.
You will also understand why they don't want to skype.
It's just different than the one you're about to meet.
And the one who linked you also gets a share of it.
I have to say I tried it with a Philippine site and that was quite different.
And had 3 encounters and the ladies were the ladies of the site.
I also met my girlfriend there a treasure of a girl.
We have been together for 1 year now and things are going very well.
And no hassle about money clothes gold car.
That was very different before.
But always stay sober, no matter how beautiful they are.
And in the beginning don't throw money around.
Who knows, you might be lucky.
Totally agree just want to point out that you are talking about a "lady". A decent Thai lady will never not meet in a hotel, a Thai lady on a first or second meeting will always bring a chaperone or meet somewhere for lunch in a shopping mall or a place with a lot of people. . Many of the working girls in Pattaya,Bkk,Phuket, have a profile on dating sites and get dozens of comments per day for them this is pure business and feelings come into play until you get back on the plane and she probably already has a new meeting arranged with someone else from the dating site. I don't know to what extent your feelings play a role, but don't imagine too much of it.
To her, you are a walking ATM.
Have fun in Thailand
Your question is whether you are in any danger. Yes, just as much danger as when you pick up a person in a bar in the Netherlands for a walk on the beach.
Watch your wallet but that applies all over the world. I don't trust not wanting to skype; insist extra or say that you will not come to her otherwise. Then you will see how she reacts. If it's a 'she'…..
The chance that you will make it out alive is almost 100%.
The chance that your bank account (in the long term) will take a big dent or worse depends largely on your knowledge of the risks and how you deal with them.
If you have to ask the question about the dangers on an internet forum, the suspicion arises that your knowledge of these risks is still seriously lacking.
First familiarize yourself with this problem by reading up on the Internet. That's not going to happen in a weekend.
And what is the ultimate goal? Would you like to bring her to the Netherlands for a shorter or longer period of time? First, delve into the (im)possibilities of this.
First go to Thailand alone for a few weeks. See how life is here, talk to Farang who have been lucky or bad and hang out with a Thai for a few days.
That's probably the only way to be convinced that this date really isn't the only true Jacoba.
If you don't want to or can't make these investments, the danger of a huge disappointment is huge.
The fact that she doesn't want to Skype is of course strange. Maybe it's a ladyboy? I would still like more information before flying to Thailand just for her.
Just make sure you have more notes on your vocals. Don't tell her the exact day you're arriving, you'll still have the opportunity to meet some other women you've met on a dating site. If one is disappointing, you still have alternatives. Thai ladies do that too. The more rods you have out, the greater the chance that you have a bite.
Pay attention is the message
Keep your eyes open and keep your purse safe
A bit strange, if you were to go to Thailand for her, while she does NOT want to show her face on Skype. All Thai people have iPhone and skype, and they have internet shops on every corner of the street. So if she really likes you…. About her idea of going to Pattaya, what attracts her to the beach of Pattaya, you can no longer walk there so romantically. hahaha. No friend, watch out. But it is exciting and it is a challenge as long as you can remain your own boss, but that is not easy there. Good luck
any personal experience?? : I had an “internet” relationship with my thai friend (also skype) for 6 years 2 years ago, so I knew what he looked like. At one point I asked if he would like it if I came, and of course he was happy as a puppy. It was his birthday the day I arrived but had said I couldn't make it and would come another day. Just didn't give the exact date to cover myself a bit but was definitely there on his birthday, surprise!!!!. When I arrived in Pattaya after a long journey in Thailand, I called him with NL number, and as usual chatted and congratulated my boy on his birthday, then I told him that I was not that far away. He was shocked and of course wanted to immediately know where I was. I told him and he was right in front of me within fifteen minutes, flew into my arms and wouldn't let go. SO…. it can also go well, but also follow your gut, and if you've never been to thailand, be careful.
Go to Thailand and look around you, enjoy yourself and don't fall in love.
And don't be too generous, because that's what the (Ladies) are usually about.
Don't commit yourself to anything. And not wanting to Skype is absolutely wrong.
And just think a warned person counts for 2.
Dear Cor, you are here in a company of experience experts, who almost all say the same thing: watch out! So the best thing you can do is reduce your risks without making things too unpleasant between you and your lady. Ask her two questions. What do you live from/what is your job? And after that, don't be afraid to ask her the second question directly: whether you should pay her (something) to go on vacation with you. A 'professional' will answer -seemingly hesitantly- YES to that second question and ask for 30.000 bht or something like that (and will also tell you when asked how she needs that money, for everything from hospital bills to paying off sometimes there are even pieces of evidence on the table or on your screen.That amount is negotiable, and partly depends on the looks of the lady (the amount to be paid = market value per night x number of nights) if you are open to it.
You immediately know that she is not primarily about love but about making money (however understandable that is, from her perspective). Just don't forget that paid ladies also like to receive presents and don't wait for your surprise but 'claim' due with a soft hand. You do need enough holiday money!
There are more questions to ask, but these seem to me essential to separate the wheat from the chaff. Hope it's true love for you
Dear Cor! The previous responses to your question say it all. It took me 7 years before I found the right one after several disappointments. Thailand also has more to offer than just young lovely ladies and try to enjoy it so that, if you go back and it didn't work out with your sweetheart, you can still look back on a wonderful holiday. Have fun!
Dear Cor,
As several bloggers already write; not getting on skype is risky, maybe she is of good intentions but speaks bad english and typing friend, “she” can also be a ladyboy or not the same as in the picture etc etc.
But not shot = always wrong.
Should you not trust the business before you leave? Then I would look at ThaiLoveLinks.com, there are thousands of ladies who really want a relationship with a farang (foreigner).
Select on Bangkok (you don't have to travel all the way to the interior) and select on a better residential area such as; Lak Si or Don Muang. (ok, there are several "better residential areas" but you have to start somewhere, right) Then you will already see thousands of women and select by education.
Make an appointment with several when you are in Bangkok. They all smile and are all very friendly and if there is a "click" between them, you continue with it.
You can email me ([email protected]) to gather background information on your bride-to-be.
Good luck
Nico
Dear all;
Thank you all, and I've become a little wiser again!
YOU'RE ALL GOING WELL!
with kind regards
Cor.
Color
Nico's last response is correct. But I think the site is called now
Thaicupid
This one is reliable and I have also used it
There are literally thousands of single Thai ladies (except barmaids) who are looking for a relationship.
Many better educated people do not want a Thai man
That's why they use that site to find someone
Many are teachers, nurses, work in offices. Try with a girl with a good profession
They are not looking for money. But only a relationship.
I've had a few encounters myself and very nice but not the right one yet
Good luck and I hope and I think the others think so too, that you haven't been put off
Simon
Dear Cor,
Why don't you hire a Dutch expat (whether or not married to a Thai woman) here in Thailand to sort out a few things, especially the basic data?
There are so many expats on this blog that there is bound to be one living near your date.
You can tell your date that you have a good friend in Thailand who would also like to meet her.
I lived in Pattaya for about 1993 months in 4-8 and saw everything: from as honest as 24 carat gold to radioactive and Ebola infected ratweed (definitely go bankrupt soon).
Strange that she doesn't want to show her current situation on Skype (face, etc). Perhaps she is embarrassed by her low active knowledge of English and has someone do the correspondence.
Also strange that she suggests going to Pattaya. Beach of XYZ gives less "competition".
I have known a Thai lady since 1997, who has been actively searching ever since. Although I trust her (my sourcing partner for foods export in TH) 100% as one of the 3 Thais, she has never succeeded in finding a partner for life. Well, miscellaneous for a free 14 day seesaw in TH. Now she has become very careful. Way too careful.
For the older Thai, their children are also their social security such as WAO, WW and AOW. That's what the tax rates are for. So don't complain if she wants to make an appointment for a 5000 THB or Euro 125 / month support from her parents. I have known the parents of my Thai business partner for 16 years. Have never asked me for anything for free. I do bring wine, chocolate and nut mix with me when I go that way.
For the rest: see all other comments.
You are already familiar with Thailand! I read: and then maybe on to Pattaya to walk on the beach! If you are planning to go to Pattaya for 2 days in Bangkok, then I think you know whether dating is safe!
I could be wrong…
I can advise you, BEWARE, BEWARE, BEWARE. It will be the first time for you to meet. Be very alert. Ask lots of questions. If you ask why, you won't get an answer. That is not known. NEVER show your wallet, with contents I think, in front of her. Also don't do it in markets or bars. Be tough about saying no. Beautiful stories, from daughter to university, mother sick, son needs money for school. Yes, amamehula,
Lie that it bursts, don't believe it. Another writer, wrote walk away, walk away, NO RUN AWAY!!!!!
For you thirty others, really.!!!!
I also received this advice from many experienced Thai travelers. It's just right.
Watch out for alcohol, keep your wits about you. There are still fun moments to come.
Good luck it's just an advice!!!
Dear Cor,
The simple words : Bangkok hotel – Pattaya – Skype …say enough.
Your only danger is monetary.
For the rest you will have a wonderful vacation.
Excellent
Take someone who shows her on Skype or Line.
Which site is that? thai cupid? There are also cams for video calls, right?
Know what I would do? Don't focus on one girl, keep a few in reserve if things go wrong.
Then you can call someone else to meet and meet. There are plenty.
Color
Hmm besides all the advice.here 1 more.
I assume you have never been to Thailand.
Just go to Thailand and book your hotel yourself before you go.
There is a Dutch-run travel agency in Bangkok greenwoodtravel.
You buy a Ticket and receive two overnight stays +, which is also important, pick-up service from the airport.
I wouldn't tell the contact this. However, you don't have to go with her or it at the airport. You can ask yourself: Let's go to MY hotel. If there's nothing strange, she'll come along. If there are any concerns. Leave her or it and draw your own plan.
Make it fun. Oh look at a site what Bangkok has to offer. Take the boat to Ayuthaya. Go to the floating market, visit a crocodile farm.
Depends on how long you plan to go. But if you want to keep a nice contact is also a tip. Only have breakfast at the hotel. Just go and see the big mals, Future Park etc. Future Park is north of Bangkok. Try to contact someone who works in a shop, restaurant or similar.
80% chance you will meet a normal working Thai. Just go to her and you'll be over your internet contact in 2 weeks.
In all previous responses I miss a very obvious one that many people have already fallen for:
It's not a lady at all! The demand for money will undoubtedly come in that case. The fact that “she” doesn't want to come on skype means to me that this is a scam. The proposal to go for a walk on the beach in Pattaya, in my opinion, cannot possibly come from a lady, because she would only be afraid that you will look at other ladies there.
Refuse to transfer any amount of money, and feel free to go on holiday to Thailand. You probably meet someone you like every day. 😉 That so-called teacher of yours won't show up.