Reader question: contracted STD in Thailand
Dear readers,
What about health care in Thailand? I wonder this because I met a boy in Thailand at the gay beach in Jomtien. This one looked serious to me and he said so (by the way, I'm serious too and not a runner). Afterwards I had to find out myself that this person had HIV and on top of that also Syphilis.
I discovered the HIV by chance, because I found the pills that he had to take every day at a certain time. I discovered the Syphilis when I was back in Belgium. I had my blood checked.
This Thai boy (31 years old) did not tell me or warn me that he was infected. I talked to him about it and he couldn't say that because no one was allowed to know, not even his Thai friends or family.
I didn't get angry about that, but I talked to him calmly about it. Nevertheless, I still have a problem with such irresponsible behavior (I had known him for 6 months when this happened). I'm 100 percent sure he gave me Syphilis because I've only been with him.
Fortunately, I have not contracted HIV and in Belgium I have no sexual contact with anyone. The suspicion that I had that he had/has sexual contact with several people is clear to me.
I have known him for 1 year and in that year I have been to Thailand 3 times, especially for him.
It is also clear to me that this person and many others in Thailand will saddle many people with HIV and other STDs. Are there no safety standards or agencies that direct this kind of criminal behavior?
Regards,
Paul
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Your question is quite naive. You choose to have unprotected sex yourself, so you consciously take the risk. Then don't complain afterwards, I think.
Hi Paul,
Is the irresponsible behavior not your fault?
And yes there are indeed safety measures called CONDOOMS.
The Thailand blog has been warning for years about unsafe sex in Thailand.
Naive or Dom? now sit on the blisters.
Dear, I'm afraid that "criminal conduct" as you put it, cannot be followed.
Firstly, you yourself say that no one was aware of his infections (which is also not a legal obligation), and secondly, even if the government were aware of it, they would never inform the police or other government services about this, for example.
And, of course, people do not follow up on sexual (ir)responsible behavior themselves.
The criminal behavior is also relative since you have not been married to that man for 10 years, because then you could possibly summon him to court.
So when your relationship is this early, you are supposed to take your share of responsibility too.
Attention: I'm not throwing stones, on the contrary, but it's true that you were in control here and you didn't.
If you were to report this to the police, namely that he deliberately wanted to infect you, and you do not have a long-term relationship, your complaint will not get you very far.
Isn't it a matter of course that if you enter into a more or less permanent relationship (and therefore 'go unprotected') you both have yourself checked first? An HIV check (the least you have to do) costs a few hundred baht and you have the result the same day.
You don't go by the 'blue eyes' of a Thai, do you? Thailand is known as a country with a high percentage of HIV infected gays. And not just gays…
I estimate that if you had only suggested this check, it would have already dropped out, it would have already fallen through the basket. He would have lied to you: “Oh, I was recently checked”. But he couldn't show any proof. And what's more: something like this is easy to falsify.
Someone who has HIV actually has nothing to lose and since he would naturally like to have a relatively wealthy western friend, he will lie outright… as happened.
Finally this: a few years ago I was with a friend on the beach, also Jomtien Beach. He got into a conversation with 2 Thai 'ladies'. One said she was HIV positive and preferred to have sex with Westerners without a condom "to infect as many men as possible, to take as many men as possible to the grave."
Place your bets !
Are there any safety standards or agencies in the Netherlands and Belgium that guide this behaviour?
In the Netherlands you can report this to the police.
If someone uses HIV medication, he is not contagious and there is no legal basis to report it. Not morally and not legally.
STDs are lurking everywhere in Thailand, even outside of the tourist scene or bar scene.
The use of condoms is not that common among the Thai at all. When a girl goes to bed with a man or boy, condoms are often not even discussed. Hence the large number of young mothers. And you can contract STD from almost anyone in Thailand. It happened to me once too, girl who was still studying, 20 years old and shy and from whom you would absolutely not expect it. Turned out to have Chlamydia.
What also doesn't help is that little is being tested for it. The better occasions do test for it. Often when testing is done it is only HIV/Syphilis/Hepatitis. But otherwise the rest is self-medicating. Girls usually don't notice if they have an illness, the men get a cure at the Pharmacy if something leaks. If that doesn't help, then go to the doctor.
If you were further tested for HIV when you just returned to Belgium, wait 3 months and have the test done again. Because HIV is only visible on screening after 2-3 months. He apparently took antiviral drugs, which is to your advantage because they can suppress HIV so far that it is hardly contagious.
There is undoubtedly a responsibility on the part of an HIV carrier if he/she does not take the HIV medication in a disciplined manner. If he/she does, there is no risk of infection, extensive tests have now shown (see information from the Aidsfonds). If you want to have unprotected sex yourself without placing the responsibility on your partner, you can use Prep to avoid HIV. With regard to other STIs: the risk of this always remains with unprotected sex, and not all carriers of an STI are themselves aware of the fact that they are carriers, because symptoms can persist for a long time or are even barely noticeable. Fortunately, most of these STIs are treatable. It can only be avoided through protected sex. A matter of personal responsibility. With regard to HIV, there should only be a criminal offense if someone is contagious (ie a carrier and not a consistent user of the medication) and deliberately has unprotected sex. And then this: the boys / girls in Pattaya. Well, from whom did they mostly get the HIV infection? Perhaps as sex workers of irresponsible sex tourists?
It's nice that almost everyone has a value judgment for Paul. But forget to read his question. That it may not be such a smart move, Paul has probably already figured that out.
First this: if your partner with HIV takes his medication consentingly, then the HIV virus is almost non-existent (viral load is undetectable) and there is actually no chance of infection with HIV. You can also take measures yourself by taking preventive HIV medication (note: do not do this yourself, but always via the GP or STD clinic).
For help in Thailand/Bangkok you can go to the anonymous clinic/kliniek-neeranaam. Close to Lumpini Park (the 2 water towers next to the (equestrian) sports fields.
They also have experience with family matters in Thailand and have a well-organized patient association.
For more information you can always email me: [email protected]
It is a pity for your “friend” that he has HIV, but on the other hand also happy because he has medication, you cannot say that about all the boys there. As for contracting an STI, well, you can get that if you have unprotected sex, so it applies just as much to you. Certainly street/beach boys walk and go with farang to make a living, and send money to family, who thinks he/she works in a hotel or shop. It is true that in a little gogo bar / club the boys / girls once a month, I think, have to do an STI test from the owner in order not to give his business a bad reputation. So that might be a lesson learned for next time. (and of course with a condom)
I concur with the previous comments. But I do wonder, Paul, if you know what place you are in. The chance of contracting an STI during unprotected sex in Pattaya/Jomtien is very high. And the chance that you can build a serious relationship with a beach boy is very small.
Whoever burns his ass must sit on the blisters…………
Condoms are a preventive measure that you should use if you are on #slippery ice# - Pattaya is a big ice rink in that area, although it is almost identical elsewhere in the world.
Conclusion………………………………….
Not really handy. You do know that when you are in Europe, he just goes about his business and goes with every fallang that gets in his way? You believe in love, he believes in money and a better life.
Unprotected sex, without a blood test at a local clinic beforehand, is not smart. And even then, the risk remains high if he goes along with another for an hour in between. That is how it works!
You can't see it from the outside, but believe me: many money boys are "stiff" from the scary diseases. I have also had experience with it, fortunately no HIV!
Those boys can get tested for free, and get free medicines if they have no (legal) income.
So that's not a problem, but if they have something they hide it so as not to jeopardize the relationship (or the money).
I myself have been in a relationship with a Thai boy for 11 years, and have lived together in Thailand for 11 years. Without problems, and without others ever getting involved. A safe loving relationship.
So it is possible. I have more friends in the same happy monogamous situation. That is the only good solution, but then you have to be able to trust each other and rely on each other 100%.
I have read that in men the blood can only flow in one direction at a time: either to the brain or “down under”, but never at the same time. That's part of the problem for every man, gay or straight.
I'm not judging anything or anyone, but be careful, err on the side of caution: tests and contraceptives, unless you're 100% sure.