Dear readers,

I met a nice Thai woman (June) through a dating site. We have already spoken a lot and exchanged photos via Skype and it clicks very well. Now I want to visit her in August during my vacation of about two weeks to see if things can really get serious between us. However, she lives in Pattani, a city with negative travel advice.

Is it a good idea to go there and stay there for a week, or would you advise against it? June has lived there all her life and works as a teacher, but has never been close to an attack. That in itself gives me confidence that it is not immediately dangerous for me.

Yours faithfully,

Gdansk

24 responses to “Reader question: I met a Thai woman but she lives in Pattani (negative travel advice)”

  1. Rick says up

    Also invite her when it is vacation for her to meet each other in eg Krabi or Phuket not too far for her and pay those few hundred bth of her bus and train ticket. You have to pay the hotel anyway, problem solved, you know immediately whether it really clicks.

  2. Gdansk says up

    Thanks for your advice, Rick, but firstly I doubt she's on vacation and secondly our relationship is still so early - we haven't met outside of FB and Skype - that she'd rather meet me in her familiar surroundings . Sending her to Krabi or Phuket (or even Hat Yai) right away seems too big a step. She's a decent woman and I want to treat her like a decent man.

  3. Jack S says up

    Danzig, just because there hasn't been an attack near her doesn't mean there never will be. That can happen anywhere, by the way. You have to keep in mind two things: firstly, it is often exaggerated with the travel advice… so the chance that something will happen will not be too bad.
    But second: the chance exists and it is greater than elsewhere in Thailand. So you are on an uncertain path. I would say: in Pattani you have a 95% chance that nothing will happen, in Krabi you have a 99,9% chance that nothing will happen (as far as attacks are concerned)….
    The choice is yours..
    If you want to feel good, do what Rick suggests!

  4. chris says up

    Dear danzig,
    I cannot find anywhere on the embassy's website that a negative advice has been issued for the south. After all, that means that you go there at your own risk and are not insured for everything that can happen to you there. It has been advised against traveling to the south for 8 years if it is not absolutely necessary. So you have to decide that yourself.
    At the moment it is quieter in the south than it has been in recent years. But there are still weekly attacks. You can easily check that on the website of The Nation and the Bangkok Post. Teachers were and are the targets of the so-called Islamic terrorist groups. Rick's advice to invite her to Phuket is not so crazy.
    Keep in mind that good Thai women (Buddhist, Muslim or something else) think differently about a holiday with a man who is still relatively unknown than a Dutch woman. If you're serious, book two rooms in a hotel. That will also increase her trust in you. Thai women sometimes don't have a good image, but unfortunately that also applies to foreigners who come here on holiday, no matter how nice they seem via Skype.

    • Khan Peter says up

      Dear Chris, the information you give to Danzig about being uninsured is incorrect. However, you are not insured for repatriation if this is the result of riots or acts of war. You are insured for other matters. Source: http://www.reisverzekeringblog.nl/negatief-reisadvies-reisverzekering/

      It is also the case that the Ministry of Foreign Affairs issues travel advice (not the embassy, ​​although they do advise and inform Buza about the situation in Thailand). See the current travel advice here: http://www.rijksoverheid.nl/onderwerpen/reisadviezen/thailand

      Finally, a 'negative' travel advice does not actually exist. It is a term used by the media and consumers:

      When the security situation in a country deteriorates, all travel to a certain destination may be discouraged. However, this does not mean that the Ministry of BuZa issues 'negative' travel advice: the ministry does not issue 'positive' or 'negative' advice. The travel advice of the Ministry is non-binding. It is the responsibility of the traveler himself and of the relevant tour operator whether or not to proceed with a trip. (source: http://www.rijksoverheid.nl/onderwerpen/reisadviezen/achtergrond-reisadviezen)

      • chris says up

        Thanks for the improvement.
        But if I read the text in the link correctly, ALL damage caused by acts of war is NOT insured through the travel insurance. That would also apply if you were injured in a bomb attack. If you fall down a flight of stairs in Pattani, it is insured. The exact situation with your Dutch health insurance probably depends on the coverage. So search first.

  5. Robert says up

    Hello Danzig.

    I would consider it very carefully myself, because if you are not yet tired of life and you want to play it safe, I would strongly advise against going there regardless of positive or negative travel advice.
    Because lately 7-11 stores have also been involved in the fight.
    Indeed, meet at another location and outside the war zone, if necessary she will come to Bangkok by plane and you will stay here for the two weeks that you have free.

    Good luck with your decision and do something with it.

    Greetings Robert.

  6. Siam Sim says up

    Hello danzig,
    In fact, you are asking for advice on whether it is wise to run an increased risk. No one will give you positive advice for that. Many Thais and expats wouldn't want to stay in Pattani for anything. Some Thai women who have met someone through a dating site go to another place with an excuse to meet each other. This is to prevent gossip from the immediate area.
    But if your date has work commitments and it looks like she'll be staying there for a while, you can't avoid traveling there if you want to get to know her better. Northeast of the capital seems to be relatively the safest. So the choice is yours. Good luck and I want to give you this in advance: The most beautiful flowers grow on the edge of the abyss. 😉

  7. Mark Otten says up

    Dear Danzig, I would discuss the situation with her and ask her if she knows a solution how and where you can meet. Perhaps she understands that and will come up with the proposal to meet in Krabi, Koh Lanta or Phuket. As previously mentioned by Chris, book two rooms (or at least one room with two beds). Good luck

  8. Nico says up

    Dear Danzig,

    I would follow Rick's advice, you read all the above and for several this is the best solution.
    The deep south is really dangerous and definitely not recommended.
    Terrorists ride a motorcycle and just like that, unexpectedly shoot "someone", especially a foreigner is an excellent (it's about attention) target.

    You are Farang (foreigner) and are highly regarded here in Thailand, she will certainly come to a suitable location such as Krabi, this is not too far by bus from the south and very doable.
    She won't have the money for the bus, so ask her bank account and deposit 50 euros into it.
    This is more than enough for her to get to Krabi by bus and have something to eat on the way and buy some new clothes (very important for a Thai) for his first visit.

    Rent a hotel in Krabi, Ao Nang beach, there are many opportunities to have a nice meal (at sunset) and very romantic.

    It absolutely can't go wrong.

    greetings Nico

  9. henry says up

    I strongly advise against traveling to Pattani. Every day people are killed there by Muslim fanatics. You are not only endangering your own life, but hers as well. Especially if she had to be Muslim.
    If you do want to meet her, do it discreetly in the lobby of a 4 or 5 star hotel, and don't take her for a walk around town or on a trip.
    In short, only meet her at the hotel. Or meet somewhere in a shopping center. But don't go there TOGETHER.
    The first time you will meet her she will be accompanied by a chapperonr, female relative or friend.

    • Gdansk says up

      She is a Buddhist and I doubt she needs a chaperone as a 23-year-old self-employed woman, but maybe that is common in Thailand. I will make it clear to her in advance that I don't want to go too fast with the contact. I'm not going to dive right on top of her. ;)

      We can meet together in the Big C. I'm also quite shy myself and with so many people around you the step is a bit smaller.

  10. Chander says up

    Dear Danzig,

    If you can move your own holiday to October, you have a better chance that your girlfriend will spend time with you in a different, safe location.
    Why?
    A "decent" Thai woman does not want to receive a wildly strange man in her village or city. They don't want to lose face.
    In August it will be very difficult for her to stay away for a few days/weeks, because she is a teacher.
    The schools have long holidays in April and October.

    Discuss this with her again.

    Good luck,

    Chander

    • Gdansk says up

      Hmm, I didn't know about those holidays. I go there just in August and again from November to January.
      So I am bound to Pattani as a location if I want to see her, although June is sometimes free for four days in a row. I could possibly meet her elsewhere, but that would be difficult.

  11. Davis says up

    Hi danzig,

    First of all, allow me to make a comment.
    Also for other readers.

    If you invite the lady to a hotel, she will not find it strange.
    When you have never met each other.
    Then the thought arises: immediately share a room?
    Think this is 'not done', and if it's an honorable lady she won't do this anyway.
    Thought I understood that you also see this that way and that is very respectful.

    With the data as it is, she has no leave or can't free herself.
    You'll have to go there to meet her.
    Does she live in Pattani, the center of the city? That is actually a small provincial town, thought 50.000 inhabitants. Or a hamlet outside?
    She will undoubtedly also know where it is better to stay away and where it is relatively safe.

    And believe me, when you meet for the first time, and there is a match…
    Is that all right. Maybe you can arrange leave and you can get to know each other better.

    Success!

    Greetings.

  12. Gdansk says up

    @Davis:

    I had the same idea: invite a woman I've never met in person to share a room with me? No, that's really going too far and believe me: I've had enough bargirls in my room.

    She has lived all her life in the city of Pattani, so not in the (unsafer) countryside, and I believe she knows where the riot is. safe neighbourhoods/streets. In addition, there is a large military presence and most hotels are located in the 'safe' zone, surrounded by checkpoints.

    Statistically, you are undoubtedly more likely to die in Bangkok than in Pattani. Of course there are regular attacks, but the chance that you are just next to them is very small. Tourists are not a specific target for the terrorists, but teachers are. That's why I worry more about my girlfriend than my own well-being.

    • Davis says up

      You are a gentleman, see that aspect come right!

      I think you're more concerned about your girlfriend.
      After all, the area there consists of 80% Muslims.
      The remaining small 20% Buddhists are a possible target for attacks.
      For sure their educational institutions and what's.

      If you know that and keep that in mind, you can avoid those strategically potentially dangerous places.

      Best wishes!

    • Ben says up

      I've lived there for 12 years and never had a problem.
      For me Pattani is safer than Bangkok, Phuket, Pattaya etc.
      The people are more friendly and helpful than in the rest of Thailand.
      And you better not have soldiers here.
      Power and money is the biggest problem here. No bombs, no shootings
      means no extra money.

  13. Stefan says up

    Discuss the situation with her.

    Do make the effort to meet her first at a place she prefers. But explain to her that you cannot stay in Pattani, and that you are inviting her to another place to get to know her better in a relaxed holiday atmosphere.

    • Gdansk says up

      It should be possible to stay there for five or seven days (and exercise caution), right? I certainly won't spend a long holiday there, let alone live there, although the area will be safe again by the time I move there. I'm only 34 and certainly don't plan on settling permanently in Thailand in the coming decades.

  14. Hendrikus says up

    just do it, everyone is very excited about that region, but I have not yet heard that a foreigner has been victimized there.

    • chris says up

      Dear Hendrikus,
      I do. My wife has worked in that region for 10 years, speaks the language of the people of that region, Yawee and is still in contact with several of them. With foreigners who visit people who are regarded as (accomplices of) terrorists (even if they do not know this themselves, on the one hand because these people do not publicize it and on the other hand because many are regarded as terrorists by the Thai military) is mercilessly settled (an accident is in a small corner). And 'of course' that does not make the news because for many journalists it is not really 'news' with so many 'attacks' per year.

      • Gdansk says up

        My girlfriend works for the government and is a Buddhist, so I will not be considered an accomplice of terrorists. I've been to Yala myself once out of curiosity and I had no problem with anyone, let alone the military, who gave me a wide berth everywhere and were genuinely surprised to see a farang. Where do you get the idea that I could be a target…?

  15. oyng says up

    Hello Danzig

    A little tip, next weekend there will be in The Hague at the Thai's Embassy
    Saturday and Sunday, from 12.00 to 20.00 a free information/market.
    For more information see website thai embassy.


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