Mali, a Thai beauty in the Netherlands
Rob (29 years old) lives in the Netherlands with his girlfriend Mali (32 years old, fictitious name). She came here at the end of 2012 on an MVV entry visa. They met by chance a few years ago Thailand. He had not expected to meet a Thai beauty and she had not expected to meet a white prince (farang) on a white horse (bicycle).
Mali is full of praise for our country; it's raining compliments
Mali has been living in the Netherlands since the beginning of December and has only come to the Netherlands once before, in the spring, on holiday. She loved all the flowers in spring. The tulips in Keukenhof were of course very special, she shot one picture after another. She also loved the flowers and plants in the roadsides on the way there, I think it was weeds…
Even now that it is winter here, she is having a great time. The little bit of snow that was there on arrival was of course fantastic, but it was gone in a day. I still get the question every day when snow will come again. If I say I don't know, more questions follow: why don't I know, how long will the snow stay, how much snow will fall?
The cold suits her well, she has to wrap up warm, but she doesn't like the Thai temperatures. Above 25-30 degrees, the hair is too hot, and the sun is of course a disaster. A real Thai would like a beautiful lily white skin, well then she's at the right place.
It rains compliments about our country: Mali is full of praise for our nature, the people, the climate and also about the traffic. People hardly drop by unannounced, so no unexpected surprises. But why don't they (and we) bring food? When we go to visit, she insists that we bring something nice. And traveling is also a relief: you actually get priority at a zebra crossing and you don't have to run when crossing the road.
We went through a dozen shoe stores; no size 37
She finds it so easy to go into town by bike, especially if she can ride on the back of me. Park right in front of the door, so we don't have to walk much... Well, we walked a bit recently. We were looking for a pair of shoes, but she didn't find what she was looking for. There is not much to be found in size 37. She hated many shoes. The beautiful shoes were not available in her size. “Why don't they have 37 for me? Only a lot of big size…”.
We went through a dozen stores, none of them sold nice shoes in her size, but they were way too expensive: “70 euros? Peng! Very expensive!". No, Mali didn't want that. After a day of shopping we only bought one pair of shoes and two items of clothing. Now I know what Mali likes better about Thailand: the clothes and footwear are cheaper, nicer and at least available in her size.
Mali loves pizza, pasta, raw herring, stroopwafels and döner kebab
Fortunately, in the Netherlands you can also buy papaya and chicken feet (indeed, the feet of a chicken) and she could get a large pot of skunk (fermented fish) from a friend. She loves that and I then prick a fork with it, but Mali also finds pizza, pasta, raw herring - without onions - stroopwafels and döner kebab delicious.
When she came to the Netherlands permanently in December, the first thing she wanted to eat was a plate of fries with frikandel. Garlic sauce on the side: a true feast! She would have preferred to eat the same thing the next day, but she also liked the pan of macaroni. After eating farang food for almost a week, she started eating papaya and skunk.
Good, because by now I had quite an appetite for Thai food. We now eat a rice dish 3-4 days a week. Great, because I've always liked rice meals the best, followed closely by pastas.
Circle of friends, better not too much Thai
Mali still has few friends here in the Netherlands. She hopes to find a job soon so that she can also have her own income and build up a social network. She especially wants to make Dutch friends, she says that her two Thai friends are enough. Why? One reason is the language: if she doesn't speak Dutch every day, she will never learn the language properly and will therefore not be able to get an office job here. But the main reason is that she does not think highly of many of her compatriots who reside here in the Netherlands.
According to her, make a lot Thai women here just fool each other with stories about who has more money and gold, whose boyfriend is the most generous or they grumble that he is kieniaw (stingy), complain that boyfriend doesn't want to get married, and of course they also talk about borrowing (lots of money. First they get along and are friendly, then just ask for money and then the question is whether you get it back, Mali reasons.
No, she prefers not to have that nagging on her mind. Too many bad ladies who mainly gossip, make trouble and are very jealous of each other. According to her, many "bar ladies" are not good: there are mainly women who only care about themselves and are not about love with a man. Or Thai who think that all farang are rich and everything is fantastic in Europe.
She does nuance this: here too there are good people with a good character, but it is "safer" to have friends who have had a normal job. And communicating is a bit more pleasant and easier with someone who has also enjoyed some education. One friend has completed high school, the other - like Mali - has a bachelor's degree. But the most important thing is that these ladies have a good heart, says Mali.
Mali wants to master the language quickly
We mainly speak Dutch at home. Mali wants to quickly master the language. If I ever speak English again, I will be scolded. “You must speak Dutch with me.” She likes to watch Lingo. For example, there was a broadcast in which a word with the G was requested. Mali immediately shouted “stingy!”. The candidates needed a little more time to guess the word. Stingy was indeed the correct answer. Mali sat in front of the television with a wide grin. “I smart more people!” she exclaimed. “Yes, indeed honey, why do you know that the answer was 'stingy'?” I said. Mali: “Because Dutch people are very stingy!” We burst out laughing together.
Of course I'm not the most objective person, but I think Mali will integrate quickly. She hopes to find a job soon and as soon as she really masters the language, a nice administrative job. Mali has had to leave a nice and well-paid job in Thailand, and of course also several friends and family. A big sacrifice, starting from scratch again to be able to be with the love of your life. But we have each other, the world is at our feet.
Great story very relatable. I hope you will be very happy
Thanks Compuding (and other readers) and nice that my girlfriend is not unique, but of course unique to me. This story was on TB before, my girlfriend has become my wife last year and we have been living together here in the Netherlands for a while - over 2 years. We are of course very happy together, she likes it here. She still hopes to eventually find a nice office job, but that is only realistic if she speaks Dutch almost fluently.
what a fun and relatable story. Mn clothes and shoes. I myself fall rather outside the Thai sizes, especially finding a pair of decent shoes is a crime if you have size 41. In terms of clothing, I always wonder where super fat women get their clothes, and I mean from size 48-50, which I am fortunately still under. The gossip is also good, won't go into detail, but the Thai ladies can do something about it and then money, gold and jewelry and the jealousy. On the other hand, I think “those men are there themselves”.
Nice to read this. I hope that, before too long, my girlfriend will follow the same path.
It's also great that your girlfriend wants to integrate quickly and learn the language. In that respect, my girlfriend has to get behind her pants.
Of course you are not objective, but what if.
I envy you.
Good luck
Very positive story and very hopeful.
You can call yourself lucky to have a Thai beauty who cares a lot about wanting to belong to society by working on her Dutch development. Plus she is very good at putting things into perspective. Cherish her. Reading this, she will stay that way, a diamond with a view of the world and appreciation and love for you.
That Mali is a very smart lady, she will manage and is almost 100% established.
They, we, will be fine, thank you. You integrate on your own initiative, ambitions and capabilities, not with the crazy rules of governments. My wife feels very much at home here. There is virtually no homesickness, although she sometimes misses her family and best friends. Skype brings that a lot closer, but still.
At the end of this year she will have been here for 3 years, so then we can start the naturalization mill. You never know what fun things the government can come up with for residence permit holders who already live here or are still coming here, the IND is not our best friend and traveling with dual nationality is that easy. Fortunately, naturalization is still possible after 3 years if your partner is Dutch, other people are only allowed to naturalize after 7 years (as of 1-1-2015, but the cabinet was too late in introducing the new naturalization law).
Let's get back to the herring Rob.
You probably mean Mates, with many people it is that they think it is raw.
This one is also fermented for cooking.
In this way I have learned something from many people.
In Thailand there is one that advertises the best herring from the North Sea, who also has no idea what he offers.
Having machine cleaned from NL via via is the same as at a supermarket in NL.kopen and then still hours on the way to the destination.
Before these are here in his store the taste is already gone.
Reminiscent of oliebollen.
Then it is even better to let acquaintances take it hand cleaned at a real fishmonger.
In Thailand they are also cleaned by hand in Hua hin by a professional, there is no better in Thailand.
Throughout almost all of Thailand, this is a concept because of its quality.
If your girlfriend comes to Thailand again , she does not have to miss it .
The Pala family members make that skunk from the herring heads, which has a surprising taste for them.
They're crazy about it.
I wish you good luck.
Pim .
Hello Pim, thanks for your herring post. I think you also posted something of a similar nature under the original posting, but that is now 1,5-2 years later and has therefore started to stink, so the editors have removed the herring messages from then. 😉
Very nice story in which everything, from A to Z, is correct.
A very positive contribution to the blog and once without complaining about Thai people.
Follow your girlfriend's advice about keeping Thai girlfriends out…. you won't know how well you are doing. By the way, she knows the Thai women better than we do.
Good future and good luck.
Lung addie
“A real Thai wants a beautiful lily-white skin”
Personally I think that's a pity… But otherwise I wish you all the luck in the world.
Dear Franky, you shouldn't take that too literally, but intended as a description that many Thai people don't want to get tan and often prefer a shade lighter. You must be familiar with all the commercials with spreads or even bleach. In any case, Mali was very happy that the sun doesn't burn so brightly here, luckily it stays with that and not those crazy lubricants. Of course your skin color says nothing about being Thai, just as your skin color says nothing about being a real Dutch person or not.