How is it…. (10) lock
It is now 22 years ago that I met the Thai T. We lived together for 10 years and with her I have a 20-year-old son who has been living with me for 9 years now. With a clear conscience I can say that with her nothing is (still) what it seems. Read the story of Lung Ruud.
Meanwhile rain B de jan "infatuation" at de others. With de jan ging ze op holiday en can (earthige) Mon paneled her home. A pair weeks na de completion of the necessary carpentry en doing odd jobs could hij to go, want hij was "te simple". With weer a ander "cut ze herself in de fingers" en good also. Meanwhile HAD them one massage parlour at home equipped. Aan medium was wanted om weer to Noord The Netherlands te com en zo HAD ik a house and a small flat. Dat seemed to me better zo about this de son en close to en weer journey.
Vlose received ik a (Dutch) female friend, maar honest is honest, ik was "onfit". My rely was disappeared en zo behaved ik me also en al years a "single vader".
So B also got to know “man” with whom it eventually became “eating bad cherries”. B met a business consultant and lawyer who would help legalize and market her business. With this man she quickly got into a “love affair” and not many weeks later “man”-provided clothes and his administration- with mother B and son. I got to know “man” too, or didn't know, but sometimes saw him when I came to pick up and drop off my son. A short time later, B said he regretted itt live together. The man turned out to be in debt and was himself nog not separated.
A little later I got a call from my son's teacher, saying that he was not doing well and that he was still walking the streets late at night in the company of the local “village hooligans”. B had now a car and was regularly gone to go to "course" and son preferred not to go home when "man" was there. Big problem, I was in North Holland during the week and he was in it village 175 km away. Later I heard that "man" -in his anger, because son not calm enough played during sports on tv- a few times lego starwars vehicles are kapothad thrown. Good thing I didn't know that sooner.. I took care of my son as often as possible evening, but that was only surrogate and that's how it felt.
B's massage had now become half legal with her own salon at home and son told that mother showed him “packs” of money. Okay, that's possible and in the meantime I paid a lot of alimony and did the lady have a benefit, that had to go well, right?
One Sunday evening I came to bring son back and "man" hovered over me -I was sitting- and told me to give В the chance to offer her -now legal- "therapies" in the companies I managed. That seemed like a bad plan, I was never for the mixing of private and business interests and in this case, certainly not. That cost me dearly.
A few weeks weeks later I came to pick up the son, he was not there yet and neither was “man”. B asked for help again and I told her - in view of all the misery for son - that if she really couldn't figure it out herself, she could call and I would come over. Son taken, it was May holiday and would spend a week with mij are. B would use that time to talk to “man” and end the relationship. What exactly happened there, no idea, but the next morning "man" calls freaking out with the question “who do you think you are to stir up my girlfriend and me to leave the house”. I gave him and her my best regards and hung up.
So, now I had something, jeez, just called the lawyer on Monday and the situation explained. It was now clear that my son did not want to go back and did not dare. He was now 11 and therefore not a real little child anymore. In that week I tried to talk to B to clear the air. “Man” then let it be known that he had the communication -literal text- oheard and that nothing was discussed without his intervention. Fine dude, dream on. In the meantime I kept trying to get in touch with B and at the end of that week I left haar know that, if I heard nothing before sundgood evening, son would take to North Holland. It answer; "Keep him, I don't need him anymore". Then I made the decision that I have my son would never return. A few lawsuits later - with great input from my son - decided the judge that the right to care came to me. Years later, agreements were made about the payment of maintenance money -by B- for son. They are, not even for a fracthey, narrived.
Dat was the einde of "Mon" en hij expectant get out put by B. Therefore could "Mon" are frustration did not More de boss stay en (er of suspicious expectant must ik write, by de rechtbank largely proven deemed) her home defaced, B op all sorts of ways stalked, her tires lek stake, de auto scratched en her endangered.
Of B "Mon" nou the home heeft evicted, of that "Mon" yourself is vmoved out -back to are bijna of did not ex wife- to exist two lectures. B says evicted, "Mon" claimed at de rechtbank (in de caves of the Internet, are fixed -similar- pieces te how we can help your) te are left. This once hij B to two keer toe in a "compromising attitude" with a and/or end-users op the massage mattress HAD found.
Via mail, in person en via "de input" of people who ik knew en hij "accidentalig" also, while Begonia "Mon" en later also are bijna ex, also medium in discredit te Moon. Card en good, ik was a l.l, worthless manager etc.. etc.., okay, before purchasing,. De ex of "Mon" wilde money of medium, that "Mon" apparently at B give out HAD. Op Internet appeared massage "critics" that written would are by -onder More- fellow worker's of medium en other. Also my mail address was created en -minimaal altered- abused by "Mon".
Threats came er also, whereby "Mon" indicated to know where we lived in N-H and son op school zat. Dat delivered de necessary headaches op, maar with help of unbelievable nice people in our area, could that tackled Worden en Remained the safe and...... Wat a hassle, maar it had big impact. See that maar once "out of view " te to hold of son, work en other. The heeft medium -na only time- also perhaps health issues delivered.
3 year ago his son en ik -na years-to Thailand gone. The keer -natuurlijk also along at opa, oma en de others family. Last year about this de second keer, unfortunately was opa passed away. In 2018 are we with de auto traveled around of Bangkok to Hua H. With the midden of Thailand, along de sights en route, to Chiang Mai en the village driven. Beide Keren to have we did not told that we would come en was de surprise big.
In de "better" times had B en ik sometimes planning made om -as a ik with retirement would are An "green" resort te Materials about this de target audience ouders with young children in de teenage age. The would the baptism weer to life can not be purchased wake up, young people could coming back om er te working. In the village lived many ouderen can de art of the send braid, wood to cut, instruments to make en others manual skills controlled. The could and training give en er would also Thai cooking classes are. Aan de teenage youth would and -trekking's, riding, mountain biking en bamboo-rafting- Worden offered. Plan nice see elaborated, included. budget en drawings made. Finally somewhere onder in de kast, want we out each other. Wel the plan conceived om dit -samen with son can in the meantime a tourist education follows- over a pair year -semen– still pick up.
Early last year sent Thai zooatan son here, on drawings of a resort. Hey, that's weird, -by now my son has mastered Thai quite well- we get ground from Mae. That satg son here sit down anyway and leave it at that. Last year we arrived in the village, were taken to a piece of land just outside the village. Thai son was busy building a dam with an access road. On that land, the resort would come and both sons had received it from Mae. Well no, zegg son, I don't want that. Stepson didn't understand anything, “we have land together received and started building”. As it turned out, Thai stepson Oma also called Mae and the country both boys had received from Grandma. Well, then we'll come back to help build and so it was agreed.
Son, now 20 and a student, has had no contact with B for a few years another after a mishap in high school, who had approached B with the story that I would abuse our son. After research and by the mentor, that story was quickly put to an end at school. Not long after, B sent an email and a letter of apology. So it can be that simple…
In the given that son -in each case about this nu- not contact More heeft with B, sit her fury to medium toe. Despite hassle, ik -according to her- the evil one genius eight the are missing of contact. Yet always understands B did not that, as a er maar enough happened over multiple years, young children can not be purchased decide about this himself te choose en another kant op te want to. Dat is going er at B did not in. Wwhy did not? Because zij that zo did not wil, therefore so! En can apologies of then, ac, there is in the meantime a whole file folder vol of .
Ik think specifically did not that er alleen maar "poor" Vrouwen are in Thailand. can the less narrow with de truth nemen en worse, are everywhere. Ik heb -en was er yourself at- de wrong chosen. Dat reproach ik myself even always, maar ik heb a son en can HAD I never got as a ik B did not HAD teaching methodology know. Jaren ago heeft B once said "ik heb a black kant in me", more striking could she that did not seewplaces.
Ik er across come and thought that we approximately everything with her would to have had, seen en experienced, maar no. B manifests herself emphatically op en within different ones medium. Facts to beat did not, date did not, education did not, work history maar very th his (understandable), background did not, in short, in fact is of them maar zoa 10th around. B is a meanwhile a "Checkers" become, can tastefully dressed, the most divergent activities undertakes. Hair motto is even always "the is going as ik that wil en did not anders!". Dat captivated me actually real all the way nothing More, to de "game-to change" came that one vorg year by B expectant deployed.
B stays since zo frequent in zuid-east Asia en Thailand, that the -for us at a volgend visit- nearly impossible is become om her te avoid. After we -three year ago-in Thailand were, heb ik her spoken. At can gelegenheid -ze knew natuurlijk that we were been- said ik "we are gone without that someone knew that we came". Her answer then "ja, you never know what could have happened differently” and I believe in that – absolutely…..
How does it exist.....”, was also written for my now grown-up son, who wrote the story edits. He has seen, experienced and received a lot and asked me to go more often to write. “How is it….” a story, which in recent months rather, -unexpected or thought-, has grown and maybe someone can still “save”, that would be nice!
To the skeptics, if only it wasn't true......, to others, thanks for the support!
You and your child are doing well and live your life in your own way that you support and leave the negative where it belongs with those who are ruining the world and as we all know there are many of us.
Dear Lung Ruud, you have clearly had bad luck, but hopefully what lies ahead is more beautiful than what lies behind you.
Of course you also know that it is difficult to earn money in Thailand. And especially with the “target group of parents with teenage children” it becomes difficult because then you are dependent on the short holiday period. But I'm probably not telling you any news.
Best wishes.
Thanks for your story, Ruud! Fare you well, carry on!
Thanks lung Ruud, I really enjoyed your story for 10 days.
Enjoyed reading this 10 part thriller. Thank you, good luck!
Dear Lung Ruud,
When you walk towards the sun, the shadow is behind you!
Enjoy your son!
It's all something……..but I read it is Mother's Day in Thailand today, maybe a flower for B and it happened, sand over it and we don't talk about it anymore…….would that help?
I'm careful with forming an opinion because in the end I've only heard one side of the story and every story ultimately has two sides.
Today, somewhere in the middle of the text, Lung Ruud says: "I certainly don't think there are only 'bad' women in Thailand." A striking quote! It bothers me. Because why does he say that? Why? He only has his experience with one Thai woman, and can make absolutely no judgment about Thai women on that basis, other than by generalizing. And I don't like that, because it also affects my wife. And you stay away from that!
T., later B., (also something like that!) could also have been Russian or American. Even Brabant. It would have had absolutely the same course of history. His life history. By your own doing. Which Lung Ruud continually underexposed. It is T. who gratefully takes the initiative and risks. I think Lung Ruud chooses not to express his own naivete.
Why refer to all Thai women and say that they are not all bad? Has it ever been said that all Thai women are bad, aren't they? Is it nothing more than that he says that he himself chose absolutely the wrong one, that this choice is his own, and that all this says something about himself as a person? In that case: what remains of the fact that she is Thai? After all, as I said, she could have been Russian, or American. Even Brabant.
Lung Ruud completely derails his initial acquaintance and later girlfriend T.. Afterwards, as a partner, he completely loses grip on his relationship with B.. He just lets it slip out of his hands. Nevertheless, he apparently wants to warn us about the Thai woman.
But Lung Ruud does not end his series of stories with a conclusion in which he finally says something about his own fatal role in the whole. In his way of telling stories, he implicitly places the course and cause of events on the person and character of T., being B. And because she is Thai, this apparently justifies the fact that he has to raise the alarm about it. There are those who encourage this in their responses.
He is going to talk about a Thai woman, his future partner and mother of his son, who appears to be able to completely control her relationship with him. In accordance with a well-known old Dutch children's song about bears making sandwiches: he stands there, looks at it.
In short: Lung Ruud suggests innocence in himself, where silliness better covers the load.
My dear.
Gosh you were lucky. I can post the story. That he is very disappointed from his best intentions and heart I can place.
According to my being and what I have read, he draws the conclusion together with his son.
So there must have been a lot more going on between the lines than what has been written here and in the previous one.
I never act as a victim myself. But I am hurt. The same also applies to the writer and his son.
I don't think he generalizes anywhere by publishing his and his son's story here.
Respect for that.
Of course there are people who are better off. Happy. But it is a fact that in the Netherlands 34% of all marriages fail. 20% of these cases end in confrontational divorces and with major problems.
Within marriages of mixed nationalities, the divorce rate is even higher. The cause here is often too high expectations of the often foreign partner. It is estimated that this is around 60%. Source CBS
Dear rori, if you read my response carefully, you will notice that I have nothing to criticize about Lung Ruud's story. On one particular comment, please note: in this last part. In my opinion, he makes that comment casually, because he doesn't see his own role in the whole thing. Doesn't matter because it's behind them, but it always surprises me in the many similar stories of farang that they continue to make frantic attempts to put relationship failures on the other.
Dear RuudB, you are right and yet not. No sane person would say that there are only "bad" women in Thailand. So it was actually superfluous for Lung Ruud to include such a message in his story. Still, I'm glad it did because it means that despite his negative experiences, he doesn't see the world in black and white. Quite reassuring. And I see no harm in that.
You also state that the same could have happened to a woman from Brabant. I will not fight that. But a farang who goes to Thailand has a relatively high chance of coming into contact with such a woman when he goes to the hotspots. And that is why a warning is in order. And that justifies his story.
I hope you can agree.
Lung Ruud.
Of course never exactly the same experiences but very recognizable to my ex-Thai wife.
2 days after signing for Dutch citizenship moved in with another man whom she had known for 4 years and who even came to her home when I was abroad for work.
I knew my first Thai wife from work. She did not work in massage but was a teacher at a secondary school. That was true because I have been there several times. However, the rest of her life was wrong. She always had stories about this and that and what she was and how well off they had it at home. Always ready with stories about her work, life and parents that turned out to be wrong in the end.
Later I heard from a Thai acquaintance in my village that they always invited her to laugh about her stories.
Even went so far that after my ex left, she was pilloried by her "old" Thai acquaintances. So my ex left with the northern sun out of necessity and disappeared without a trace.
I have now found peace and fun with a real live Thai that I married. We live 8 out of 4 in Thailand. Of which the 4 for my wife are usually only 2 months.
Good luck with your son
Yeah man, it's quite a bit. Certainly not a nice story, but as Cruyff always said: every disadvantage has an advantage. In the end you turned out well. This in contrast to others who experienced something similar.
What a story. Too bad it's reality. Let's hope it's all behind us now. Good luck in your further life.
Thank you for your beautiful story Ruud!!
I enjoyed reading the events of your life with a Thai woman. The good thing is that you are now a father of a nice son. And I am convinced that you have written the truth, but the truth seen through your eyes. But in the end, the truth seen through your eyes is also the most important thing. What others think about it is not important at all. Fortunately ( I think ) T was from Chiang Mai , and not from the Isan , because otherwise it would be too much prejudice at all.
Dear Fung Ruud.
Thank you for your life story with your (wrongly chosen partner).
It was grueling to read and I admire you for keeping this up all these years. I have lived in Thailand for 25 years and have gained a lot of experience, but your story is unique.
Find someone who can help you to publish this in a book form, it will be a success.
I wish you the best with your son and forget about your ex she is not worth being mentioned.
There are really good Thai ladies but you have to be able to find them. Good luck and try to make up for lost time with a new partner.
Jochen
So you see, money doesn't buy happiness. Although many Thai ladies think so. The more money the merrier… Soon my story which starts in 1990 and ends in 3 months. Happy.
“So you see, money doesn't buy happiness. Although many Thai ladies think so.”
And, as you say: 'you can't buy everything with money alone, even though many Farangs think so.'
It reads like a station novel. The storyline is written down classically, almost medieval. The White Prince and the Black Witch. The hero is in good faith, but he is deceived. He takes a beating, he takes a hit. He takes another beating and staggers. But then a powerless child is violated and he steps into his hero role. He saves the defenseless child from the clutches of the evil witch. He comes out of the battle badly battered but is victorious, selflessly of course. All's well that ends well. Or no, not at all.
The evil one is still lurking around the corner. Will she rise again in all her wickedness?
Come and see next week 🙂
Lung Ruud has tried to put himself on the shield with this serial. The story seems to be based on true events, but the rendering is brightly colored by vain epics.
Short sentences. Connotative and denotative text neatly used when moving the storyline in time and space. Expert technical writing in the genre of trivial literature. Popular easy reading style.
Fortunately, we are not all naive wimps.
Viewed through a more critical lens, the hero describes himself in his professional life as a professional, working undaunted on his future. He has panache and leadership. He knows how to keep many plates in the air at the same time. In short, a tiger.
In his private life, however, he shows himself as a weak mop who likes to live life.
The lies and inconsequences in ladies story escape this tiger. At no time does he indicate where the boundaries lie for him.
Lung Ruud describes himself as a direct object for 9 episodes. Only in episode 10 does he briefly manage to straighten himself out, when the child is in danger of being in danger. But in the last paragraphs he starts crying again. He again experiences the stalking, slander and threats of the evil witch.
Lung Ruud likes to wallow in fate, as in the "real" soaps. Tragedy without end.
Introspection can help … and if it is any consolation: there is a lid for every pot And there is plenty of fish in the sea.
Good luck lunging Ruud.
Dear Ruud, you are never too old to learn something.
And after reading your story, I think you have become a lot wiser from this and also gained a lot more life experience.
Jan Beute.
With some near-relations with Thais where I kindly thanked them after less than a week because no long-term relationship was possible with these ladies: lies and/or feeling that they did not want long-term relationships and/or clearly that they were after money.
Then came a long-term relationship of more than a year. This was a turbulent relationship with many beautiful moments and mutual love. But her urge to provoke a serious argument at least twice a week, and the many serious lies (age, children, finances, possessions) made me decide with pain in my heart that our relationship had no future.
So I continued searching with some serious thoughts as I realized that I would have difficulty finding a correct and loving lady if I was over 50. A lady found me online. I was very suspicious. First everything was discussed in detail during the 10 weeks before I met her to check whether she was sincere. Ultimately my loving wife of 2 and a half years. It seems almost impossible to me to meet a better lady.
Dear Lung, thank you for your story. I don't understand why you didn't end that relationship/marriage sooner. This is not a condemnation. Best wishes!
I have also read all the stories.
That partner seems to have a serious form of narcissism.
Still putting the blame on others.
Lungruud should do a google search on the characteristics of narcissism.
Beautiful story and super written but would also like to read how the lady gives all this experience and want to read her story because everything gives 2 sides