You experience everything in Thailand (87)
Relationships of foreigners with a much younger Thai woman are not uncommon. Of course that doesn't always run smoothly, but there are still many of those relationships that last for a very long time. The question that sometimes arises is whether such a relationship is a beautiful dream or a great Thai illusion. Blog writer Leo wrote down his reflections in a philosophical mood and sent it to Thailandblog.
This is the story of Leo
The great Thai illusion?
You are older. Got a much younger Thai wife (don't talk about the chicks at 20). Of course you wanted to believe that, for whatever reason, she liked you.
That the clock in Thailand is a little different than in the Netherlands, where women who are more than 10 years younger than you have no eye for you. That here women like the security you offer.
Your mother-in-law is the same age as you.
You took her to the Netherlands, went through all the authorities for integration, Dutch passport, etc. Then, finally went to live in Thailand, in the village where she comes from. Not dissatisfied. But the question will haunt you for the rest of your life…. what am i to her?
She takes care of you, she keeps you from pitfalls here, she sleeps with you. Not as often as in the beginning, but you never dare to ask her – do you love me? Do you really want to know the answer?
All life is an illusion. Everything we experience, do, see, is an illusion perhaps!?
Even when you were young, falling in love, getting married, having children – also an illusion!?
Yes, it may be that all of life is an illusion. Everyone tries to make his dream come true, shape his dream in such a way that he can accept it.
Perhaps the best way to deal with life. Because we also have to accept death once...
Thailand is not the worst dream yet.
A mother-in-law of my age (in her 30s) is not going to work, I think that would mean the police at the door... 5555 I don't think I've ever asked anyone 'do you love me?', that's so obvious when someone asks you looks at you with eyes full of love and spontaneously says (in Thai) how much you mean to that person. That reality is now only a dream.
A very nice piece of Leo that indicates the differences between the Netherlands and Thailand.
Within a relationship you should have both advantages, how that relationship works has very little to do with it.
In Thailand, relationships with a large age difference are viewed differently, in the Netherlands you are very quickly an old snack.
As long as you are both happy in a relationship, what the environment thinks is not that important.
Well no Gert. I have to help you out of your illusion, 555
In Thailand, relationships with a large age difference are not viewed differently.
There, as a grandpa with a young flower, you quickly become an old snack.
The big difference is that the Thai have more of an attitude of 'mind your own business'.
But that does not alter the fact that behind your back there is a lot of gossip, when you, as an elderly person, walk hand in hand with a young girl.
Anyway, I want to agree with you 100% that as long as you are both happy in a relationship, what the environment thinks is not that important.
Raymond I have to agree with you and indeed for the Thai you are also an old candy who likes a green leaf, but if you bring in money then that can be put aside for a while haha. My ex and myself also had an age difference of 20 years, but that was not the most important thing for my ex, but that she did not get rich fast enough and after 14 years she called it a day. My ex-family still misses me, I am still very welcome there (the advantage is that I can talk to them because I speak the language reasonably well) and I also have very good memories of them. Regrettably!
In Thailand, relationships with a large age difference are viewed differently?
Wondering how you know that?
Can you look into their heads.
Thai people rarely just blurt out something like the Dutch can do.
They often keep their comments and thoughts to themselves and rarely express themselves.
A Thai who associates with a Farang is almost automatically assigned to low society.
Let alone with a big age difference.
When a Thai deals with a Farang with little money, the comments quickly come: Why does she stay with that pauper.
The relationship is based on necessity.
Thai women with a good job are less likely to be seen in these types of relationships.
Often because they dislike the Thai man.
The fact that many Thai women like to have a man who can offer financial security in addition to honesty, does not make them very different from a Western woman.
The only difference is that a Thai woman is more willing than most Western women to accept a larger age difference.
It is also a fact that, among the latter, women are found who exaggerate their financial representations through ignorance or total misrepresentation.
If you now, as many older men do not infrequently, try to compensate for your age with large gifts and other exaggerated financial concessions, then your relationship grave is already half dug.
It is much better to pour clear wine from the start, so that the chaff will automatically separate from the wheat.
If someone, when pouring this clear wine, is still willing to enter into this relationship with you, then despite the fact that there may be a higher age difference, something beautiful can still arise.
If someone is not prepared, then you can safely make the sign of the cross 3x and thank her that she is gone.555
Wise considerations. What could be better than living in your own dream, as long as you know how to avoid waking up in a nightmare. What others think of age difference should be the last thing on your mind. Better an old candy than an old sourpuss, especially as long as the candy tastes good. There are even a lot of young sourpusses these days. Let them be jealous, I'd say.
Hahaha, said the old snack. Live in Thailand for 8 years now, and married for 7 years to a very beautiful 40 years younger Thai beauty, have a beautiful 5 year old daughter who goes to a good school. House and car are not missing, she has my bank card and submitted every Bath she spends. A ticket from the lottery, but then the GRAND PRIZE, you're doing well!
Hopefully your finances will remain sufficient in the future.
Otherwise the party will soon be over I'm afraid.
My wife is 10 years older than me and has been married for 40 years.
When I look at a beautiful young Thai, whom we have more than enough in our circle of acquaintances, she says.
She gives you 2 children and you can work for them all your life.
Wisdom comes with age.
But if you are indeed amply financed for the rest of your life, are at peace with the situation and have no children in the Netherlands, it is a good choice.
I don't generally like philosophical outpourings, if only because they are often too long. But I really like this piece. My compliments!
The very first man already ended in a nightmare because of the very first woman.
Love, according to a song "second hand emotion" "Whats love got to do with it?"
For many women it is simply gone, when do I stop. Young, old, doesn't matter.
If you hit it, it can last a lifetime, but is and is becoming increasingly rare.
Enough seen, heard, experienced. Doesn't matter what age class.
What options does a Thai woman have? If you are over 25, it is already over to get married, you are too old. If you don't have white skin, your chances are also lower. The Thai man has a different attitude and often not positive. So many go into making a career and then exclude relationships. Provided you are lucky of course.
Others still try to get into a relationship with, for example, a farang and as a farang you have a fairly young woman in front of you as long as it takes and that is possible with the culture in Thailand. It also exists (much lesser extent, culture) in a Netherlands. Even the other way around, older woman with young man.
It doesn't really matter, live in the moment, but it can just happen.
As Bramsiam says, make sure you don't wake up in a nightmare, but it can also happen on dolls and you have no idea of it. You think everything is fine, but your partner surprises you during a divorce. A 30s syndrome (I call it). I experienced that I was not alone in the situation, so it was not crazy. A slap in the face.
It happens, dream shattered and shit hitting the fan, just like that. Many fathers saddled with the fact that you are no longer a father and you never see your children again or rarely. Indoctrination of the x on the children.
Well, what does love have to do with it, 2nd hand emotion. It's all about the money.
Live the dream while it lasts, but know it hurts at the end.
Peter well written in that little frog country also thought it was cake and egg and was confronted from one day to the next with the impossible in my eyes, thank our dear lord on my bare knees that it happened to me only as you write my children are confronted with indoctrination and I hardly speak to them anymore. I met a very sweet and nice woman here (on a dating site) and I have been married for 7 years and everything is going according to plan, so a very nice and nice dream.
Indeed, it is possible to look up to the difference in age. We are 25 years apart!
And here in Ubon I don't experience any resentment or strange looking Thai anywhere.
Moreover, we have many Thai friends / acquaintances, where I have never had an uneasy feeling.
I think the comment comes from farang who would like to be in my shoes.
Moreover, that beautiful Ned Adonis will still lose out to a less sophisticated competitor, when he will be able to offer more security (financially)!
PEAR,
A Thai is simply less open in his reactions.
They are much more diplomatic than the average Dutch person.
A Thai would also rarely make you feel uncomfortable if it didn't affect him personally.
Expect a lot of gossip going on behind your back.
The regular comment will be: He must be very rich, otherwise she wouldn't do such a thing.
In general, in Thailand, a woman who associates with a Farang is looked down upon with great disdain.
I have been married for 40 years and my Thai wife is 10 years older.
My wife's sister once came second in the miss pattaya pageant.
beautiful woman .
Married to someone from USA, divorced and now owner of a beautiful house in USA and 3 restaurants.
The man lives on his government pension in Thailand in a house of 2 by 4 meters.
Pear,
hopefully things will continue to go well between you and your wife and make sure your financial reserves don't dry up.
I have already seen the necessary Dutch come back to the Netherlands penniless on hanging legs.
Even cases of suicide after the relationship ended.
Of course there are plenty of Farangs who would want to be in your shoes, as long as things are going well.
Ubon is a nice city by the way.
2 years ago we followed the entire Mekong from Nong Khai in the north east to Sisaket.
A good acquaintance of mine lived 20 km above Ubon for many years.
As for a beautiful adonis losing out to someone who offers more security, it might well be that both are chosen,
I've seen plenty of examples here too.
You can also view it differently. View times seen. Old infirm farang with a Thai lady many times younger. He the money, she her youth. He well cared for by her and she financially cared for by him. So…. A win-win situation!!!!
Of course, we all know that it concerns our wallet and the associated security for her and her family. You just have to accept this and if you don't understand it, it's only torment for yourself. When the pecunia runs out, love is also quickly over. Nice to read that someone is with an older Thai woman and has been together for a long time. This lady definitely has a lottery ticket