A girl from Isan
– Reposted article from November 6, 2010 –
I sometimes get tired, sad and sometimes angry always hearing those bad stories about the Thai ladies. They're all whores, pick you bald, use you as an ATM, and there's never any love or affection. Fortunately, there are a lot of relationships that show the opposite, but yes, that is not news.
I would so much like us foreigners to delve a little more into the backgrounds of the ladies in order to better understand the reasons for working in Pattaya, for example.
A daughter
I therefore tell you the story of one of them. Her passport states that she was born on August 24, 1974 in Roi Et, the provincial capital. That is not correct, because she was born in Nong Khai, 400 km to the north, near the border of Laos. So you soon start to doubt whether August 24 is correct, because the birth registration was probably not done immediately. It is therefore quite possible that the actual date of birth is a few days or even weeks earlier.
At the time, her father had a job as a porter at a rice factory, while her mother sold home-made food to workmen in the rice fields. On a conscious day, her mother was urged to relieve herself during her work, but instead she gave birth to a daughter, in the middle of the rice fields in nature.
It is a poor, bitterly poor family that lives in a "house" made of corrugated iron. The father earns 50 Baht (1 Euro) per day, but then there must be work and that is not always the case. What the mother earns from her sale will not have been much anymore, barely enough to feed the baby - and her slightly older brother. Days go by when the children get something to eat, but father and mother don't.
To Bangkok
Girls from IsanAfter a while – dates are unknown – the family moved to Bangkok. Father can go back to work there and the children can go to school. Another brother has now been born. The girl is not a school child, she soon skips school to gather food here and there for her, but especially for the rest of the family. The care for the family starts early. In total, the girl goes to school for 5 years, with the necessary days of absence.
When she is 9 years old, she goes to work for the first time. Unbeknownst to the parents, she starts working for a “lady”, cleaning and household chores. In the morning she goes to school neatly in school uniform, changes into her usual clothes somewhere along the way and goes to work. By the end of the school day she goes back home and has earned 20 Baht (0,40 Euro).
Her father finds out anyway and takes her away from that lady so that she can go to school again. That does not take long, the will to work is too great and, moreover, father cannot afford the required school fees. When she is twelve years old, she leaves home for the first time. Someone has found work with a doctor in Chiang Mai, 8 hours by bus. She gets a place to sleep in the house and works daily from 6 am (breakfast) until late at night (everyone is in bed) for 600 Baht (12 Euro) per month (plus room and board, though). She does not leave that house, it is work, work, work. She works there for several months, but when she has not received any money for three months, she runs away and takes the bus back home to Bangkok.
Borrow money for the funeral
Other “trips” follow, she goes to Trad (6 hours by bus) in the southeast, to Krabi (12 hours by bus) in the deep south and again to Chiang Mai. Everywhere she does household chores, long hours and earning little. In between and afterwards she also works in Bangkok, sometimes in housekeeping, but later also for three years in a shoe factory. Father and mother have since moved to Nakong Ratchissima, 300 km east of Bangkok, but the children are forced to stay in Bangkok. The three of them live in a “little room” and for the rest it is work, work, work. Eat rice or noodles for days, no meat, no vegetables, no fruit.
What they earn largely goes back into the “family pot”. Father has all kinds of odd jobs to earn money, trades in fruit and vegetables, drives a pedicab. The family pot is getting better and better and in time they have enough money to move to Nong Phok, 70 km east of Roi Et. They buy three cows and receive from family a meager house, but for them a palace compared to the previous places to live. The number of cows increases every year and the sun seems to be shining figuratively for the family.
But unfortunately, the girl is now 24 years old when her father suddenly dies. Everything seemed to be going well, but now the (money) worries are only piling up. With her personality, the now young lady becomes more or less the head of the family. She borrows money for the funeral ceremony of a “loanshark” at 20% (!) per month.
Pregnant
The young woman returns to Bangkok after a few months and gets a job as a caretaker for elderly ladies in a hospital. That earns well, 2000 Baht (40 Euro) per month. Most of the money goes to her mother. People seem to be recovering a bit, the lady is now 26 years old and she is actually going to a staff party for the first time in her life. She has fun, drinks (too) much alcohol and lets a boy accompany her home.
Without knowing it (just too drunk), she has sexual intercourse – also for the first time in her life. In her own words, she was simply raped and then held in a room by the boy for three days, after which she manages to flee. Not been at work for three days, which immediately meant that she lost her job. She goes to her mother and after a while it turns out that she is pregnant. She doesn't know the father, doesn't want to know him either. Abortion is not an option, if there was any money for it. A son is born.
But money has to be made again and our lady goes out again, while her mother lovingly takes care of the child. The young woman gets a temporary job in Sattahip, the naval city of Thailand. There she also hears about Pattaya for the first time and when she is thanked for her work in Sattahip, she takes the bus to Pattaya. As the bus passes through Pattaya, she is overwhelmed by the grandeur and splendor and lights of outgoing Pattaya. My God, she thinks, what am I doing here!
Pattaya
She rents an unsightly room and roams around Pattaya looking for (household) work. That does not work and if she can no longer pay the rent, she is also evicted from the room. With 100 Baht (2 Euro) in her pocket, distraught, she addresses a lady in a beer bar. To her great joy, she can work there and, moreover, a place to sleep is arranged for her. She doesn't speak a word of English, but the lady told her all she had to do was walk around and smile at the foreign customers, just smile. She is spoken to, but she just keeps on smiling, even when a foreigner tells her to fuck off.
Pattaya barAfter a few months she has picked up some words of English and moreover has an eye on what can really happen in those bars. If you are nice to a “farang” (foreigner) he might take you to it hotels and that pays very well.
Even before that happens, she is invited on a special trip. She and a number of ladies go out to sea in a boat to pamper the crew on a (usually) Russian cargo ship. They eat, drink and drink again and finally the ladies end up in the huts. It doesn't always come from sex, simply because those sailors are either intoxicated or get a drug in their drink, so that they fall asleep almost immediately as soon as they see the bed. Each trip brings in $100, a godsend for those girls.
Hardly a chance
Bad luck strikes again. She falls ill and appears to have appendicitis, which necessitates surgery. The same lady, who gave her the first work, advances the costs (7000 Baht). After recovery, she will look for work again. She starts working as a waitress in a popular beer bar, earning 2.000 Baht (40 Euro) per month plus tips plus any extra money for her services to a foreign guest in his hotel. Most of the money goes – as before – to her mother. She lives with four other girls in a simple room, three in bed and two on the floor in turn.
Then – quite a few years ago now – she gets to know me. After going to the hotel with me twice, shy and very prudish, she quits this job at my request. She still hated the job and that was the opportunity to quit. Something very beautiful has grown out of our relationship, not always without problems of course, but that's not what the story is about.
I just wanted to paint a picture of a Thai girl who grows up in a very poor family, has no education, has experienced more misery than I have been able to describe here and was hardly given a chance to build a decent life.
Isaan
Is it a unique story? No, working here in Pattaya, I estimate, 25-30.000 girls, mostly from the Isaan, many of which have a similar all good reason for doing the work they do. Of course to earn money, but often her background is so miserable and poor that the difficult step to Pattaya can be justified.
Talk to them, laugh with them, drink with them, in short, do whatever you want with them and then look at her when she takes a break from the hustle and bustle. The smile disappears and with a sad face she thinks of home, in the village in the Isaan, of her family and possibly her child. Have fun, but be good to them and above all do everything with respect for a fellow human being who is not as lucky as yourself.
About this blogger
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Bert Gringhuis (1945), born and raised in Almelo in the beautiful Twente. Later lived for many years in Amsterdam and Alkmaar, working in export for various companies. I first came to Thailand in 1980 and immediately fell in love with the country. Been back many times since then and moved to Thailand after my (early) retirement as a widower. I have been living there for 22 years now with my somewhat younger Thai lady Poopae.
My first experiences in Thailand as a kind of newsletter sent to family, friends and acquaintances, which later appeared under the name Gringo on Thailandblog. Many, many articles followed those first stories and that has grown into an almost daily hobby.
In the Netherlands still an avid footballer and football referee, but the years are starting to tell and in Thailand still avid, but the pool billiards is really of inferior quality, ha ha!
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A beautiful and candid story, Bert. For the same reasons, I alsoThe fairy tale of a barmaid" written. You will soon get the comment that you look at everything through your 'pink glasses'. Well, that's certainly not the case. I also know the horror stories of farang with a good heart who are left completely shaken and distraught. But just as there are good and bad farang, so are Thai women.
I think a lot of the ladies in Pattaya, Phuket or Koh Samui have pretty good intentions. It is sometimes also the pressure of parents or family that they are put on. In fact, even the villagers expect money because she has a farang boyfriend. Recently heard a bizarre story about it.
I regularly receive email from farang who are happy with a Thai (ex-bargirl). They therefore do not recognize themselves in the reactions of some on the blog. Of course there are problems due to cultural differences. Of course, it is also often about money. But money is also a reason for discussion and sometimes fierce arguments in the Netherlands.
It starts with honesty, understanding and respect for each other. If so, you've come a long way. Even with a Thai woman 😉
Hi
These kinds of stories make me very happy.
Just stay alive and understand other people's situations and you will go a long way.
I also have a Thai wife that I wouldn't trade for a Dutch one for anything.
But nothing in the world is perfect so take it as it is and then let honesty, understanding and respect come first. And then action is usually also the right reaction but always keep your common sense.
Greetings Peter.
A gripping story, but unfortunately also the harsh reality. My wife, also Thai, but not from Isaan, regularly tells me about a number of Thai friends. Some of them are in the same misery as told here. But of course it doesn't just happen in Iisaan, it's a well-known Thai problem. There is also a lot of misery happening here in the Netherlands, but on a smaller scale. But the (sex) buissines is a form of survival for many Thai women, to take care of their life and family. But these girls/women also deserve respect. Furthermore, it remains a beautiful country, and I can also be happy that I have been lucky enough to have a lovely woman with whom I have been together for almost 8 years. So coming back to the first part of this post, don't tar everyone with the same brush. There is also enough chaff under the wheat in the Netherlands, Isaan is beautiful with everything that lives there.
Dear,
I have been married for 7 years to a Thai beauty, and she comes from Isaan. I must tell you I have never had such beautiful years. I am very happy with my Thai and daughter.
Lung
Have been together with a Dutch woman for 42 years (married 4 years since 40 weeks) she does not want to exchange for the most beautiful Thai. Have a brother who is married to a Thai, one married to a Polish, one married to a Danish, and one lives with an Australian, this causes many problems in all cases, the one with the Polish has now been divorced. Have learned that cultural differences and mentality can lead to many problems, especially if you get married out of financial need.
Have 1 brother who has been married to a Dutchman for 35 years, so only see problems with all those cultures.
The story is about a girl from Isaan, Wim, and not about a relationship. Yes, I've been in a relationship with her for over 10 years, but I haven't traded her, as you put it bluntly. I have been a widower for 12 years and would have loved nothing more than to celebrate our 43rd wedding anniversary this year. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be, but that's another story.
I am responding here to Peter Kok who does not want to exchange his Thai for a Dutch one.
And would like to indicate in view of my experiences in my family that a Thai woman or a foreign woman is not perfect. The Dutch is therefore dismissed as a very bad choice. Relationships with a Thai are usually based on economic reasons, older foreigner with many years younger Thai woman. Nothing wrong with it if both parties benefit from this. But don't be so condescending about the Dutch woman as if she's no good.
As everyone knows, there was little to earn in Europe 70-80 years ago. The Thai has grown out of its strength, see expensive luxury things that they are not yet ready for.
this story falls short: at the time there were no EURO, but still guilders and there was a different exchange rate. who bought 20 bt as a child at the time 2 plates of rice (which now usually cost 25/30 bt/each), and was worth around NLG 1,60.
Optimists can also read that even a low-atrate family like this has apparently gotten a lot better over the years.
A bit of a lame response, but you will undoubtedly be right about the price. I also often visited Thailand in the eighties, but I can't remember that course. It doesn't detract from the essence of the story, of course.
Optimism is totally unwarranted. Look around you in both the cities and the countryside and you still see far too many poverty-stricken families with no prospect of an improved future.
yes, put a little salt on every snail. It's about the message, not about periods and commas.
What a good story and very fascinating to get to know and certainly understand the background of most of the ladies in this way.
If each farang would indeed treat them with respect, then a lot has already been won for both parties.
I know a lot of Thai girls instantly and love to hang out with them. If you respect them and treat them the same way you treat your girlfriends at home, you will get so much warmth and cosiness back.
That is also one of the reasons why I love Thailand so much!
Nice response Trees, also nice that a woman responds once in a while. I thought Thailandblog had become just a domain for men.
The nice thing about Thai women is that they usually have a lot of humor and they are always up for a joke and making fun.
Thanks Trees for the spontaneous response. They are indeed often nice girls that you can laugh with. In Megabreak (Soi Diana) we have pool tournaments every week and on Tuesday evening it's Lady's Night. There will be 20 to 30 Thai ladies and it is great fun every time. Some have a (permanent) boyfriend, but many also "work" in bars, Tuesdays are their day to not have to talk about money, drink and sex, but just have fun with each other.
As a European woman, you probably have the same experience as my sister-in-law and other women from the Netherlands, whom I have had as guests here. The Thai ladies pamper you as if you were your own sister, very nice and often moving to see.
Your response is very good Trees.
You will get many more Thai girlfriends .
Tribute !!!
A good story dated and partly outdated and partly gotten worse fortunately for everyone there is now the 30 baht card and do not have to pay for an appendectomy that was too expensive. We help 5 families find work and are very happy with their commitment and enthusiasm
Cees Roi et Thailand
Guys, I hate that Thai beauties are being written off… well now you may know, I wouldn't want to exchange for a European woman for anything in the world. I will choose the Thai women and their culture for the rest of my life.
Thank you for your story, very well written, I have a lot of respect for the girls.
Usually you only hear the bad stories, this is finally a really good story.
In the Netherlands the barmaids work to buy a Mercedes, in Thailand to survive and take care of the family.
A friend of mine from Holland had a small guest house with a lady bar, I've been there a few times, a few months, met a lot of girls there, most of them are very sweet and cheerful girls, always in for a joke, also with farang women.
I also met my Thai wife in a bar, she only worked there for a few weeks, they all say that, but I happened to know the mammasan, she wanted to stay with me, I said I have little money, she thought so no problem, I've often told her to find a farang with money, but she doesn't want to hear about it.
meanwhile we have been married for 5 years now and mostly very happy.
At the end of next year I will live in Thailand for good, in Hua-Hin.
I can't wait for it to come.
I also hope to leave that European wasp nest for good soon. I have also been married for 5 years to a Thai from Isaan, namely from Sakonnakon. So I can speak with you about how things are going in those areas. For that reason alone, I have a great deal of respect for those people.
Bert, for me a very moving and lifelike story, a story with a soul. But it is the reality in Thailand, sad but true. Getting your own pleasure out of the misery of a Thai is going too far for me.
On my first visit to a village in the Isaan, I met a smiling Thai. Didn't go further into her nervous charms then. Told her I wasn't there for Look Lady and Boom Boom. She looked at me incomprehensibly, and probably thought: what a strange Farang.
Still follow her a bit out of interest, and have some contact now and then.
From her village she started working in a chicken farm and laundry in Chonburi. A little later ended up in Pattaya with a girlfriend from Phuket, but with great reluctance she managed to tell me.
I once asked her mobile: Why do you do this work: Answer in Tenglish: Work I do need money , have care son and family, family no money, make home better, not good. Me no like work Pattaya, me can send money family.
Another answer was: Work I do maby I see som one take care me love.
In Walking street: try find customer, not easy now.
She was very open and honest about it, so they don't all lie
About her mother: The last time I was there she visited me a few times at my regular place there. At the right moment for her she came to me, grabbed my arm, squeezed it gently, looked at me in a telling way with a smile, and she was gone. That look spoke volumes: Can you take care of my daughter? I can guess the rest.
Most do this out of sheer necessity, not always of their own free will. They also have no choice, and there is no work there in Isaan. Searching for a better life, what's wrong with that?
So Farang a little more respect and understanding for these ladies is in order.
Ben, nice response, you have well understood what my story is about. Your story may be different, but I still see great similarities.
Above all, let everyone be free in the choice of their life partner. That one chooses a Thai and the other a Western life partner is a choice that we must respect. The Western woman is often portrayed in such a way that she is no good, while this almost always has to do with an individual experience, which is therefore not the measure for a Western woman.
So it is not only the case that people speak generalizing about Thai women, it is no different about Western women either. They suddenly seem no good anymore, because the Thai woman is said to be many times better. In what respect they are much better is hardly discussed.
I visited Thailand regularly after my second divorce in succession. Not to look for a partner, but just for a nice holiday. I've had a Western partner for about 20 years now, whom I wouldn't trade for anyone else for the world. The wrinkles may become more and more visible, but I am a happy person every morning when I wake up next to her. Glad she's still here and glad we can still be good friends. It's an open door, but friendship in a relationship is extremely important. And the sex, which is still excellent.
So guys, go ahead in Thailand. And if you love a Thai, even if you fished her out of a bar, then by all means enter into a (marital) relationship with her. Choose her family and let the money bag ring. If you don't mind that, who am I to argue with you.
But as a Westerner, don't be condescending about Western women. I have a Western partner and am very happy with it. And I'm not alone in that.
Sam Loi, you raise a point that also intrigues me, why a relationship with a Thai woman? I envy you that you have had a Western partner for 20 years and I would have wanted nothing more - about 9 years ago. I was married for 34 years and very happy with my Dutch wife. After an unwinnable battle of more than 6 years, she unfortunately died of breast cancer and I was a widower. Of course you can look for a partner in the Netherlands, but a young, beautiful girl does not want you and a willing lady of the same age has probably already had a life with who knows what kind of problems. After that I chose purely for myself and burned all my ships in the Netherlands – which I still love by the way. I have been living here for over 9 years now with a dear partner and I am happy as never before.
I will come back to why a Thai woman in a more extensive story later.
Bert, all the luck in the world. With a Thai you can of course be very happy. I am the same with mothers, with all her ailments. I also have those ailments and over the years a form of mutual acceptance or resignation has developed. And the less you are bothered by the other person's ailments, the more room there is for friendship. And, as I mentioned earlier, it is indispensable in any relationship.
Good luck in your further life.
Still, taking it out on others, whether Thai or Western women, is a piece of frustration that comes with the person themselves. You cannot type Western women or Thai women, there is no such thing.
The men on the blog would be honest if they also add that in 75% of the cases it concerns a younger and more beautiful Thai woman. One that is not possible in Holland.
well ladies from the isaan.
was married for almost 30 years in the Netherlands and wife died of illness
there you are alone at home children grow up and almost never at home.
now a good friend of mine already lived in thailand and i had been on holiday on koh samui for a month. and his girlfriend had a relative and she was too
widow thai man drove his own death.
now to continue my story something went wrong.
now living in thailand for 10 months with a woman fam of my friend's family.
and bought a house in the village where she comes from and I respect her and am honest
open to her is mutual and say am not rich have sold everything in the Netherlands and
if we live normally then I will last until there is aow and pension.
she knows this and has no hole in her hand.
she also has a 9-year-old daughter who is also happy to live in a family situation again.
because yes mothers worked in bangkok and sent money to mom and dad for daughter and family. worked from morning to night and didn't have too much money either.
and this is the life of many isaan women and then hope to meet a farang to get a better life . but of course there is also a lot of chaff under the wheat, but I also think that it is best to judge for yourself whether there is love involved or whether it is only about your money.
and as for a Western woman, mine was one of a thousand
but also this one from the isaan is one of a thousand for me and hope to be able to live with her here in the isaan for many more years
Yandre, you are lucky.
It has been described many times on various forums. The woman falls away and the man stands alone. The kids have left home and rarely visit Dad. And when they come, they often need some money. In short, you fall into a deep valley as a “straggler”.
You are going on holiday to Thailand, this country has been whispered to you by a friend who has preceded you before. You then think, damn why not. And it doesn't cost much either. And if you have some acquaintances sitting there, it can hardly go wrong. You enter the world of smiles, at least that's how you read it in the tour operator's brochure.
Gone is loneliness and welcome to paradise. You don't know what hit you, ladies who approach you and tell you how pretty you are. You never thought that possible. In the village where you live there is hardly anyone who looks after you. And don't talk at all. You just have to do it bye neighbour, how are you? Hold on tight. You do your shopping and you are back home in less than an hour.
The TV turns on and the channel goes to MAX. At least they pay some attention to us oldies. You feel yourself growing old while sitting.
You like a beer and why not. You now have the time for it and you have also earned it to go crazy for once. Once, maybe more than once. In a bar you have the ladies around you. They would like to have a chat with you, of course while enjoying a drink. And it may also cost a bit, 100 baht for a lady drink, who cares. At least you have some attention and fun for a snap. And we all need attention. And even if you don't always understand each other, who cares, it's great fun. And for a little more crunch you have the ultimate holiday feeling. A few weeks ago you would not have thought this possible. And the kids, they'll be fine. And if they want to see me, they should come to Thailand. Because I've decided to stay here.
Ode to Yandre.
A little cynical undertone from Sam Loi, I read. Not rightly so. You decide what you do with your life. As long as you don't harm anyone, you also decide what you do with your money and where you look for success. I agree with Yandre. It's a win-win. He happy and she happy.
I wanted to describe “with a wink” the loneliness that many fall prey to when the partner falls away. You can of course choose to languish at home, but you can also opt for a second start in Thailand. And Yandre has chosen the latter. Fine right?
You shouldn't make more of it than what's in it.
okay, Sam. Then I misunderstood. Mai pen Rai
Yes Sam Loi, that is correct what you put there. Thailand what more do you need, wouldn't prefer that I lived in Thailand
It is a pity that most of the reactions are all about fun, if most men want young women and a smile, most men can also visit the ramparts here in the Netherlands! There are also plenty of young ladies there and yet most of them choose to visit the Thai ladies. I myself have lived here for quite a long time. Moved with mother and brother to this cold frog country.. My mother also experienced the same story, so I know all the misery all too well! but then you had fun, you probably also contracted STDs and other diseases, are you happy? I doubt it .. but well as long as we can give ourselves a happy feeling that is enough. I'm not happy here! i still go back to the village where i come from and try to help all the young girls there so that she doesn't end up with a western man herself (probably 30 years older)…and i can't help everyone but if it's just 1 i can help so that this kind of forum no longer arises, then I am happy with it. Thailand is a beautiful country, rather pump your money into the holiday resorts and enjoy the culture instead of bringing back the bad stories about the Thai houses that you only want for your money! tip don't go to the h ** ren!!
love & peace.
Nice story and I have no doubt it is still happening. But I think it is no longer the case for most girls (and boys) who go to work in entertainment these days. I know a few good examples who for other reasons (which I think all stem from a lack of education) started working in entertainment (sometimes it doesn't make it any less sad).
14-year-old girl falls in love with 15-year-old Thai boyfriend, after a few months the boy decided to work in a factory near BKK. Boy and girls go live together in BKK, 3 months later she is pregnant. Child is born and is dropped off with mother after 3 months and girl and boy go to work. Not that they ever sent a dime to the mother nursing the baby, not that they ever checked on the baby. The baby, now 3 years old, met her real mother when she was over 1 year old, when her mother took care of her for a few months. Oh yes ... of course the now 17-year-old girl and Thai boy have split up, she has done all kinds of work but is being fired everywhere. Of course she has no education. I've arranged work for her, but she's just as lazy as a pig's rump. Her solution? She goes to work in a bar, because most girls think it's just partying and falang pay everything and give you money too. Now she went to work in the bar of an acquaintance of, where the mamasan threw her out within 2 weeks “That child only costs money”. Now she works in another bar. Her child grows up with her mother, and her falang husband pays for everything for the child now. He knows her real mother has to do that, but he doesn't want the child to suffer. The circle-of-life has to be broken, right?
But imagine this girl only had 1 boyfriend in her whole life, the only falang she ever met was me. And without batting an eyelid she goes to play the whore in a bar. She was disappointed because she still hasn't found an “ATM”.
Found elsewhere on the net:
It's about the difference between pinay and thai.
Major Language Barrier in Thailand.. This is also very Significant.
In Thailand.. Bar Girls of course are easy to meet and pick up…
Real Thai girls are not!!
It takes much more flirting and relationship development before a real Thai girl will go with you. They need to trust and see who you are much more than a pinay normally does.
What I had heard before and is now confirmed: Thai girls are not easy to hook up!
Hansy, it's pretty simple. middle and upper class thai girls don't want farang. at least, they have the same requirements as women in the west such as good looking, good job, big money, big car, not too old, etc. And then many farang fall off 😉
I think that's not too bad (big money, big car, not too old, etc.)
But some will like you, others will not, and you will need to invest a lot more up front.
If you live in Th, that's not a problem, if you commute more, it becomes a bit more problematic.
I don't want to turn it into a yes/no game.
It would of course be nice if a few people would report, who can say that they have only walked blue with non-Isaan girls.
As I have already written, you will certainly have to put in more effort, especially those who are still without children. They will not approach you, but always await your initiative.
Furthermore, many still hold on to the tradition that you are not allowed to touch them in the beginning, not to walk hand in hand, etc.
So in the beginning you are just a friend (emphasis on one)
All in all, a lot of fuss, whatever you feel like.
@Hansy,
If you don't want to make a ′′ welles nots ′′ game out of it, you shouldn't do THIS either.
Have a relationship with what is so beautifully expressed here on Thailand blog as a Hi So, although I still do not know the exact definition of the word, but if it is meant that the person in question is financially independent and / or a or has received several university educations, held a high government function ???.
Then I have to answer all…Yes.
This would mean a Hi So….,both Hierarchies and Economics.
But my Partner comes, works and we live in the Isaan…………………………………………….
where I also feel very comfortable, especially because of her commitment, to make her feel comfortable, and that is also Thai by the way.
I must also mention that I do not see any difference between women and girls from BKK or other parts of the country, apart from the economic and Hierargic differences that exist. ,my partner and I, business but also related to her work, make in the country
Also very important to mention, and this is VERY NOT to the detriment of Western women, but the emancipation of women in Thailand is way ahead of the West, although
is this not so visible to the outside world, hence often the problems, in the relational field, with the/a Thai.
I hereby thank @Gringo for his submission, and the many readers with sharp and positive responses,
Last but not least….de response from ThailandBlog.nl for their great effort.
But, as with everything,….knowledge is the basis of all progress…………….
I don't think it is so much that the bar is higher for non-Isaan ladies, but that the bar is lower for Isaan ladies. For a lady with education and a (good) job, effort must be made, but that will be the case almost everywhere in the world.
Which can be an option for men who really want to "hook a lady", take a look at a number of Thai dating sites (thailovelinks, thailandfriends, etc, has already been a post about it I believe) stripe all ladies away that says “i look man 40 or older while they themselves are 20” “I simple/good/ordinary girl” and more slogans in that direction and then look for ladies who have stated in their profile that they are absolutely not want to leave Thailand (yes there are really enough).
These are often ladies with a good education and/or a good job. And as said yes, you have to make an effort for that, but it can certainly be worth it.
Beautiful yet very realistic! Can imagine if you have to live in these circumstances a miracle has to happen to really get rid of the misery.
This is a story from the Isan but could just as well occur in Africa or South America and other parts of the world!
If you think about it for a moment, you will realize how bad our greedy world is. The bad thing is that you can't see through these people! How many people beg every day in our rich Europe? When you see them you hesitate to give them money because they are victims of organized gangs for whom they have to beg. Giving to large organizations is sometimes also useless because the money often does not end up where it should be!!!
Who really brings a solution for these people
Please let us know!!!!
Dear Bert,
Those who dare to say such things about those ladies who work in pattaya, they are no good themselves. I have been happily married for 6 years to a lady from Isaan and have 1 sweet daughter. I am very happy with my family. So my conclusion is that the ladies from the isaan simply have no other choice to support their parents, otherwise where would they get their money from? So those people who say ugly things about the thai ladies who work in pattaya would better sweep in front of their own door, because they are generally people who have no experience with it.
We too always greet the girls kindly say hello or smile at the girls at the bars. I also think there is much more behind the smile. Indeed a nice story and I think it is also true for most girls. It is pure poverty for most of them and why do you have to treat them inferior we are all human beings whatever you do for your money.
Bert here I can and do not want to add anything more to it, apart from wiping away a tear!\
Straight from your heart, nail on the head.
Yes, behind that (smile) smile and cheerfulness in the bar, there is generally a lot of misery!
I have known my wife for 7 years now, been married to her for two years. Yes, she is from Roi-et but she is a very sweet and reliable partner to me. We have been living in ND for 3 years. She works every day and has never asked me for money. Her 12 year old daughter is also here now and a sweetheart of a child. If you have so many comments about Thai women what are you foreigners doing there? Is a Dutch woman so much better than? Or are you one of those bullies yourself? Take a look at yourself. And treat a woman with respect and you'll get that in return.
Another fascinating story about the ups and downs in Thailand. Please note that this does not only concern the girls from the Isaan, there are also many other regions in Thailand where this girl could come from, but I thought the story was worth a big compliment and hope for more such stories from all corners of the world from thailand
I myself live with a fantastic woman who comes from the Isaan. And if there's anyone who isn't after the money, it's her. She works very hard and wants to earn money but will not ask for money quickly. Furthermore, nothing is too much for her and she is ready for anyone who needs just a little help. This woman deserves two Angel Wings as far as I'm concerned, but maybe she already has them.
I'm more annoyed with the Dutch men who all want the top prize for next to nothing but have more or less been vomited in the Netherlands (sorry for the good guys), Just think before you start a relationship with a foreign woman, wherever she comes from, and first immerse yourself in the customs and culture. Remember that in most countries children support their parents and relatives when necessary.
A very true story but it can also be different. I golf regularly with a very sweet Thai girl of 41, when she was 12 she had to work in BKK and lived with an aunt. Went from sweatshop to sweatshop, sold noodles on the street, etc, etc. Everything she earned went to her parents, but she still had the strength to go to night school.
Long story short, she speaks perfect English, has a good job but has never given her body to earn money.
Let's be honest, most of them can also work in a factory or at Tesco, yes they earn mss 7000 bath but at least they don't have to lower themselves. But be honest, the night life is easy, sleep a lot and sometimes a night out but I have no respect for it from my golf girlfriend in living proof that with perseverance and self respect there are also a lot of opportunities in this country.
On the golf course, huh, Gemma? You'll hear something there! Have you ever been to the Isaan yourself? Probably not. Any idea how many people live there and any idea what the employment situation is there? If there is any work, do you know how much they earn there? Oh no!
Get off that golf course and listen elsewhere, for example in Isaan. Perhaps your image of those ladies who sell their bodies becomes a bit more nuanced, I warn you, there are few golf courses to be found in those regions!
Gemma, I think your view of nightlife is way too rosy. Do you really think it's easy for a pretty girl of 20 to get into bed with dirty old fat drunk frangs who are 30 or 40 years older. Try to imagine that. Now I'm not 20 anymore, but the thought of having to share a bed with a peer makes me sick.
Unfortunately, the great grosse of those girls do so out of dire necessity. The stories behind it are often very sad. Often so sad that it is beyond any imagination for most of us.
“Golf, a walk in the country side, perfectly spoiled”
— Mark Twain.
Totally agree with Bart. Maybe Gemma should work in a Thai factory for a year and study at night and then work in a bar for a year. And then make a choice.
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I would like to comment briefly on what Gema says. Indeed, a lady can work in a factory or other shop, Bigc. But most of them have not studied to be able to perform other activities than working in a factory and yes then you only earn 7 to 8 thousand bath pm, BUT WHAT IF YOU EVERY MONTH DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES have to borrow money (( e.g. you have to go to a hospital , to bring your child into the world that is not done for free, a procedure ksote about 50,000 bath, )) must pay 10000 bath to an agency that helped you first and you have borrowed money Who wants her money later than planned see again = the 20% incl = ,, And that is not possible if you earn 7 or 8 thousand bath pm. so out of complete poverty they have to go into the night life. I speak from experience what happened to his lady...
I have been living with it for over 3 years now.
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I have almost the same thing now.
With a Thailady who had to go to work in the nightlife because of sheer poverty, because she had to borrow money to give birth to her child She could be admitted to a hospital, which is not as normal as in Thailand you were born in Thailand a hospital almost costs nothing, the treatments she has to undergo cost quite a bit (( pronounce intelligence, )). But for such cases, you have to pay for it yourself. So borrow money from an agency which itself also benefits from 20%. But what can you do if you are said to do so, but only earn 7000 bath pm and you already have to pay back 10000 bath pm .. so,,,,,,, .