Stories that Thai bar ladies tell
It is interesting to list the prejudices about Thai women that prevail there. And especially about women who work in a bar. Men believe many of those gossip or notice that they just hit the one who is different from the rest. Sometimes the story is told in a convincing way by a Thai lady with a charming smile on her face.
Below are some of the most common stories.
A Thai barmaid doesn't tell her real name
In everyday life, only nicknames are used, sometimes a shortened version of their own name. These nicknames are often given by their parents and are easier to pronounce by the farang.
A Thai barmaid does not tell where she really comes from
The farang is often asked where it comes from. When the farang asks where she comes from, the answer is turned around or she mentions Bangkok as her place of residence. Most come from the northern or northeastern provinces. Sometimes they pretend that the question is not understood.
A Thai barmaid lies about how long she's been working in a bar
Usually it is told that this is a short period, because she does not want to continue as a prostitute in the hope that the farang will then be more interested in her and possibly want to take care of her. Only a gullible and inexperienced tourist will believe this and, possibly, over time come up with a proposal to live together and that she will stop working in the bar.
A Thai barmaid does not tell her real age
This is usually not a problem for the women, because they look younger. In addition, many women expect their clients to come by only once. Another point is that when the real age is mentioned, these women already have one or more children.
A Thai barmaid says she's not in a relationship
She says "have no boyfriend" but sometimes they do have a Thai man, who does not object to her work in the bar. Moreover, those women bring money into the "household", often they pay his bills for, for example, a motorbike. Or she supports her family from the so-called work in a hotel and conceals her real activities.
The Thai barmaid is not feeling well
The farang had a fantastic night in the bar. He pays for a lot of drinks which is good for the bar's turnover. Afterwards she even goes to his room. But suddenly it is “Mâi sabai” or I don't feel well and want to go to her room. She declines any help. She does have medicines in her room. Maybe she has a double agenda.
The Thai barmaid does not show her room
After the farang has known her for a long time and paid for her things, he would like to see her room. All sorts of stories can then be told. Sometimes those women sleep together above the bar. However, the story is that her room is far away or that a friend does not like a man to visit her room and more stories, which boil down to the fact that the room should not be seen.
The Thai barmaid has a different farang
One day she is not in the bar. The others tell you that she is free. The next day she is also absent until a friend tells you that she was seen with another farang. When you see her again later, she tells you that she helped this (old) man, but had no "boom, boom" with this man. Why would I lie to you?
The Thai barmaid needs money
The stories are generally known! Her brother is sick and needs medicine. Father is unable to pay his motorbike loan this month or the children need money for books and clothes for school. Sometimes it's true, more often it's not. Then the blame lies with the farang, who does not understand or is “kinio”.
The Thai barmaid “loves you”
If she nestles her shapely body against you and starts caressing your thigh with her hand, alarm bells should ring, but some farangs have the alarm turned off.
The ladies work in the bar to make money and not to find the love of their lives. If the “ATM representative” had enough money to take care of her (and family!) she would consider quitting. "If you're good to me, I'm good to you!" But if the lady is out of the bar, the bar is not out of the lady yet.
A Thai barmaid will always try to make you hear what you would always like to hear. Telling the truth can lead to conflict which can lead to a loss of face or even worse a loss of potential money.
A remarkable saying among the barmaids is that: the Farang idiots who really “fall in love” with prostitutes do really open themselves up for heartache and a royal screwing! (Mookieson)”
Source: Thailand Red Cat
– Relocated in memory of Lodewijk Lagemaat † February 24, 2021 –
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“The ladies work in the bar to make money and not to find the love of their lives. ”
In my opinion, many ladies who work in the bar do hope to find the love of their life in this way, who can offer them a better life than what they have now.
Barmaid. Yes, most who go to Thailand will come into contact with it, like myself. Have also had a barmaid as a girlfriend for about 3 years. What a really fantastic time we were soul mates never had so much fun and enjoyment as with that woman. When that relationship (if you can call it that) lasted longer, you naturally also talked about the future. Yes and then soon comes to the conclusion that it will cost a lot of money to get her to the Netherlands, she also had three children who should have been taken care of. So that didn't work. We then stopped, we still kept in touch by phone and they have now also met a richer man who does have enough money. Know that there are also bad ladies among them. But this woman was a wonderful person. And everyone who is now in a relationship or even married with a barmaid. No shame whatever others here in the Netherlands may say. Respect to the barmaid. I am now happily married here with a Dutch woman. But I will never forget the fun and pleasure I had with that bartender and I am sitting here typing this with a smile on my face. Regards Erwin
It does not benefit the credibility of a site if only the prejudice-confirming 'stories' are told. What is the author's own experience? If desired, I can post a story that does not negate these clichés, but puts them into perspective. Actually, it says here ”everything that ewn prost. says is a lie.”. Shall we use the well-known proverb of the innkeeper and his guests again?
"if she starts caressing your upper leg, the alarm bells should ring". Does the writer prefer "do you wanna fuck me?" Because that is also possible. Experienced it myself, but that was a Romanian. Ah, the wise of the land, the honor of the land.
Thai people are very pragmatic. They are only doing something that in their eyes is of some use.
Why would a Thai go to a mall to look around? No, a Thai only goes to a shopping center if he intends to buy something. Why would a Thai walk 500 meters if you get there faster and easier with a scooter or car. If you ask a Thai something just out of interest or curiosity, he will hear it thunder in Cologne. Why ask something if you won't do anything with that answer anyway?
And many more such examples of their pragmatic way of life.
As a result, love relationships here are also somewhat different. A Thai will only start a relationship if there is a certain benefit to it. Why start a relationship with someone with whom you will no longer have a well-to-do or a more comfortable life?
It is different, but not always less good.
I agree with you, except for the mall. Thais also go there to look around and to cool off of course.
Ok, so Thais are pragmatic. Nothing wrong with that right? Have you ever heard of a Dutchman who is not pragmatic?
When the "bar" ladies lie about anything and everything, they usually do so to let the "customer" hear what he wants to hear. However, some relationships last longer than expected and then the truth comes out. So it is up to the farang to decide whether or not he wants to continue the relationship.
What I find worse is the fact that here in Belgium and perhaps also in the Netherlands there are hundreds of couples whose wife is Thai, but 90% of those men will never admit that their wife comes from a bar. They are shy to tell, but they also lie.
What is the difference ?????
In fact, the Thai ladies often do not want their old profession to be made known. They are not proud to put it mildly. Many have worked as prostitutes for many years and have had mental difficulties with it. It is not a normal job that is recognized as such by many. The ladies did not start out of love for this work, but it often became their destiny due to many influences. They want to leave this behind and forget and not be confronted with it, which sounds logical to me. The difference is, among other things, that not every man likes to announce that their wife has already had sexual intercourse with many predecessors. I can relate to that and you probably can't. Values and norms are simply different. It remains to say that sometimes the truth never comes out, even after many years of having entered into the relationship. The shame is certainly to blame for this.
So the lie remains, only the person has been switched.
End of story for me.
You're right. The ladies keep talking about what is important for their work and the customers come and go. It is a theater piece that is performed that is not easily interrupted. It is work that is not for everyone in the beginning. Many have difficulty in the beginning to turn that switch and use drugs (alcohol and sometimes other substances). After a while they get better or they die. Those who are strong enough go for the big money, because if you do it, do it well. The ladies who go to Arab or other countries run the greatest risk, because there they are much more dependent on others and how they treat the ladies, and there are already plenty of examples of this. Many live in very bad conditions. Apart from the moral story, it is not work to hang on the big clock and they are aware of that. It saddens me to see so many young ladies waste their lives by making the wrong choices. All too often the choice has already been made for them, influenced in various ways. Protecting the individual is low on the agenda in Thailand. Far too little is being done by the authorities in this regard. Other interests prevail and prostitution does not exist. I think it's sheer hypocrisy. These people also deserve a better life. But yes, as long as the question is there, this will be the answer, full of so-called fun and entertainment, where reality and fiction complement each other.
And if the barmaid at the age of 30 gets paid for her house from that good-hearted Farang, her car and some other nice things where many other professional categories have to work for the rest of their lives and the relationship ends, what then?
Then that barmaid is back in bar life two days later or did you think you would find her at Big C to fill the racks?
There would never be so many prostitutes in the whole world if it wasn't a very lucrative job and anything but too tiring. It may take a while, but once the lady in question gets used to it, grabbing your penis is the same as grabbing your thumb for another woman.
In many cases, a nurse has a much harder job and less than a tenth of those ladies earn their income. You should urgently take a look when they replace an old person's diaper.
@Karel: You implicitly assume above that 90% of the Thai partners of Belgians and Dutch come from a bar here in our Low Countries. Maybe you don't mean to say that, but anyway: it doesn't seem right to me, although it will probably confirm the prejudice of many.
I can't speak for the Dutch, but here in Belgium the percentage is certainly that much and I think even more. I have a large circle of friends in the Thai community and I am also a member of Thai clubs and associations. Let's roughly estimate about 400 couples that I know of. Of these, I cannot name anyone that was NOT “found in Pattaya or Phuket. Most of them were not born there, but to earn money you have to be there.
Mind you, I'm not saying that those girls are bad. On the contrary, there are really good housewives who will do anything for their husbands. There are of course others too.
The only thing is that they have all been in prostitution for the mud of the earth for a long time.
Actually, this is all beside the point. The article was about Thai girls lying but that's what men here do for the rest of their lives because "their" wife is NOT from a bar.
I understand why. It's obvious. Keeping up appearances but why? Once a thief is not always a thief.
Greetings and with this I close.
Lying about their age is a typical female trait. My mother, if I remember correctly, went through life as a 20-year-old for 30 years. She was 30 when I was born. Just sayin…
The same goes for bar boys, sorry if I'm stepping on toes, but it's always about girls or women. G9
A good piece that can withstand the test of truth. Theatrical performance at its best. With exceptions of course, not everyone is the same.
Think the subject has quite a bit of truth in it.
You can also make this same story about women all over the world
I myself am such a Falang, who has been living with a Thai barmaid for twelve years.
I don't care if people ask me where did you meet your wife.
Just in the bar.
Over the years I have seen many of her former colleagues leave
abroad with a bankruptcy.
And why not ,
they generally have a lot of experience at least in several areas.
The writer of this article clearly has extensive experience on the subject.
It is most appropriate on his part to share with us his innumerable experiences gained over many years in the myriad of venues in the various regions of Thailand and possibly some of the neighboring countries.
He clearly understood that these ladies, through the experience passed down through generations, know perfectly well where the smartly dressed, intellectually speaking, well-mannered person, who is utterly by chance and completely ignorant of what is going on, has chosen that particular drinking place where his eye completely coincidentally fell on their attractive appearance, is looking for, namely: A stylish class lady, preferably with university studies, who also ended up in the same drinking establishment through a pure coincidence of circumstances.
Of course she has a brilliant career and, due to the unfortunate premature death of her husband, she is no longer a virgin but childless.
This lady will do her utmost to fulfill this ultimate wish, even if she is forced to insert a tiny white lie into the in-depth conversation.
It is also heartwarming to know that there are people like him who, when meeting a complete stranger for the first time, immediately reveal not only their name and nationality, but also their place of residence - age - career - family situation - and some other information worth knowing.
I eagerly await his account of what these ladies have to tell each other about the tactful treatment, the delicious body odor, the unsurpassable performance and the overwhelming respect and love that they have received from this perfect person to conclude with the heart-touching words he whispered to her as he gently rocked her into dreamland in his arms.
So, "Enough Laughs - Now Humor"
Well said, so go to Pattaya, enjoy and respect the ladies and have a good time with them.
But no more, don't send money because then they say Thank you and go again with another farang.
A nice story with a grain of truth in it and with the necessary warnings for the newbies in Thailand.
During my many travels through Thailand I have come across many bar ladies and always made it immediately clear that I only come there to have a drink, not to find someone for short or long time.
And immediately made it clear that I care for my family in the Netherlands as they do for their family in Thailand. Then you can immediately separate the wheat from the chaff.
Dear Lodewijk Lagemaat,
This piece always generates reactions.
On my first visit to Thailand I didn't know what hit me, first day out and about
as a rookie you stand out.
We hang out at the bar in the afternoon to soak up the new Thai life in Pattaya.
Immediately we were approached by the 'mamma san' (not really well translated) who asked
'First-time? Yes, and she explained everything how it works with Thai ladies.
Before we went to Thailand we had two options, Mexico or Thailand.
It became Thailand, why? A friend of ours had lived in Thailand for ten years before this
with a dress on the floor to sell stuff (was arrested for that).
Most and I think 80% come from the Isaan to earn money for family or relatives.
Most ladies won't tell you this until you know them better.
It's annoying when your wife has worked in a factory all her life and looked down on it
is becoming. The vast majority wants out of poverty 'who does not',
Yet a large part remains because of drug or alcohol addiction.
I found my happiness through a friend of my mate.
Yet for many it remains a fairy tale with a not really nice 'happy ending'.
Yours faithfully,
Erwin
To all.
As a woman left behind with eg 2 children by her Thai husband who chose a younger woman, she usually has little choice. School for children is not cheap. If she goes to work in eg. Big c. Does she earn a maximum of 10.000 b. Must eat of that. School. And pay mom's babysitter. Does'nt work. You can only succeed if you have family that supports you financially. Don't forget that most women have not studied and therefore miss out on the higher salaries. Conclusion: Most of these women have no other choice. Walk to the bar and hope to meet the farang who brings them abroad or the one who sponsors them or to earn a lot of money in the bar. What does it matter.? Many foreigners work on the assembly line and prostitute themselves with their hands. Many European women have an extra job as a reception lady. Many OCMW women walk around the discos to meet the man who helps to pay their debts. It is what it is. Prostitutes also have a heart and a brain. We don't have to be so negative about them. By the way. Why did we all come to Thailand? To look at the temples. Or the te(m)fur? We are no better than these women. Some lie. Agree. Do we always tell them the truth? Let's take a look inside ourselves first. And then in hers. Respect them or go back to your country and try to find there a women much younger than yourself who take care of you day and night. Except you f…ing rich. O% chance. Take it or leave it. W
Dear Will, there is always a choice to make. In Thailand it has grown over the years that a certain group sees this work as a necessary evil, but still carries it out. The financial aspect is known. The peer pressure and culture too. However, there are much more important motives that will ultimately be less harmful. Income is only temporary and financial gain is not the best option. It is known that many men come to Thailand for the prostitutes. They are usually not really concerned with the interests of these barmaids or gentlemen. Some do enter into a relationship and try to make something out of it, with the result that most are disappointed. There are also successes, but that requires the right mentality from both partners. You have to earn respect and it is not a bonus if you do work that someone else finds objectionable. People are all equal to me, but not the same. Values and norms are decisive for a good relationship. There is nothing wrong with earning 10.000 baht per month in big c. I do respect that, because without money you cannot live. With a good partner, you can certainly bring in 25.000 baht per month and if you are not used to much as a Thai, this should be enough. Many live like this in Thailand. Also my wife's family and they are doing fine. No greasy pot, but be true to your values and standards and settle for less. By the way, I didn't come to Thailand for the sex industry. I hate to see that so little is being done to reduce this target group to a minimum and perhaps even less. It is an illusion to think that this kind of work will stop, the target group of users is too stubborn and stubborn for that.
I do think it is a sport in Asia to scam someone. A barmaid sees this as a win…and game…..and not something immoral.
And very practical too…..agree that it's all about money.
A certain category of men is naive and likes to be scammed. I don't really feel sorry for that either. Just don't believe in fairy tales.
I want to add something. If you want to go to the beach with her, she doesn't have a bikini. So you can buy it so she can add it to her collection. If she is with you for several days, she always has one birthday.
I also find it naive that most Thai girls want to have a farang as a friend in order to receive money every month. Because with Thai girls or Asian women it is like that , you take care of me and i will take care of you . I often hear and read from Farang I have a Thai girlfriend !!!