“This is Thai culture” (or isn't it?), meeting via a dating site
I'm still confused about my first – and probably last – meeting with Jen, a single 30-year-old woman from the Isaan region with whom I fell in love. Not in a bar, but through a dating site.
For a change I now had to deal with someone who had a perfect command of English, so that communication went smoothly. In the beginning everything was very passionate and committed. However, as time progressed, some cracks appeared in our romantic idyll. That was partly because I had to adjust my image of her again and again: a lot of information in her profile on the website turned out to be not (entirely) correct. On the other hand, because I had to conclude that the world of most Thais is indeed small, very small, and the limited range of topics for conversation was starting to feel oppressive.
To the village in Isaan
Nevertheless, I went to see her in her village in mid-January. Because despite everything we kept believing in each other. And I still had a non-refundable return ticket to Bangkok, which I had confidently booked in our heyday. She e-mailed in advance that she thought it was great that I was coming, but was so busy with her newly opened shops that she didn't have time to go anywhere. Not very motivating of course, but I decided not to think anything of it.
When I got off the bus I found a giggling lady, who was mostly in disbelief that I was really there. There was little evidence of any enthusiasm or affection. She clearly didn't know what to do with me. When she got home she needed to get back to work quickly and after some awkward attempts at a conversation it slowly became clear that there was no click.
Really busy
She kept disappearing from view. Because yes, she was so incredibly busy. Though I don't know with what. On this Sunday afternoon, someone occasionally came to her grocery store to get a can of Coke, while her children's clothing shop next door had no business at all. There was little left for me to do but to enjoy myself with her children and nod countless times politely to her mother who stubbornly insisted on speaking to me in Thai.
In the evenings she lay down on some cushions in front of the TV, together with her children, without paying too much attention to me. At first she said she was too tired to talk to me, later she wanted to see a movie. When the children were asleep, we had something of a proper conversation for the first time, and occasionally we laughed. At nine o'clock, when things were about to get cozy, she told me I looked tired and had better go to bed.
Thai culture?
The next morning I said I didn't feel welcome and left. That immediately pissed off. Ungrateful dog that I was, who really didn't understand Thai culture. Because it's one of working hard and being exhausted in the evening, so what do you want? “This is Thai culture!” It's a good thing her brother wasn't there, he would certainly have rammed me in the head. The bitterness and frustration that sometimes appeared in her emails now resurfaced, and everything I said fell completely wrong. As far as I understood, there was also the fact that there would definitely be gossip about her if I left after just one night. Despite her anger, she insisted that she take me back to the bus station. No sooner said than done, and that's it.
A pity in itself, of course, although it didn't last long. I still wonder what moved this woman to let me come and then largely ignore me. Because it had nothing to do with romance. Earlier I felt that I was given the opportunity to experience the hard life of a single mother in the Isaan region. Okay, I have that image now, but what good is it for her?
I'll keep looking.
Submitted by Wessel
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I have also had a similar experience through a dating agency in the Netherlands, first contact via telephone and internet, and later a real meeting at bangkok airport.
we went to hua hin to get to know each other better, but on the way there was almost no conversation, in the hotel we had a double bed, she was very shy but i
definitely had no plans to jump on it right away, in the evening we went for a walk I wanted to buy something for her daughter (who was staying with her parents in the isaan)
but she didn't want that, when we got to the hotel we went to sleep, the next morning we said goodbye, she went back to the isaan, the dating agency sent for another lady, I looked at this, and immediately turned down.
The day later I took the taxi to pattaya ., a day later a nice young lady
encountered., clicked well, married for over 4 years now and together a fantastic
son of almost 2., how can life go !!!
you didn't hit it, but that would also be a miracle the first time.
It takes a lot of time and effort to find the right one that clicks.
It is possible, but it does require some mail and skype work. I met my wife through the internet. And it took a while before things went well between us. I have been with her for several years now and to the complete satisfaction of her and mine. And if someone reacts like your internet relationship, then it was right to cut it very quickly..
Because that is really not real Thai culture.. Because if everything goes well, they are very caring and do a lot for you. Good luck.
Family member got to know a Thai woman through the internet. After a few visits there and her coming to Europe with her parents and sister (let's see how things are here) they have now been married for three years and are expecting their first child this month.
It seems that there has been little depth in Thai culture beforehand because it is indeed very common for the Thai woman to show little or no affection in the first time. You really have to gain the woman's trust and the fact that she has children will add a little more weight to that. The western man would prefer to know immediately what kind of meat he has on the hook and wants to get into bed with her as soon as possible, but that will not work. I've had this experience twice and both times it came to naught, simply because I didn't have the patience. Eventually I ended up with my current girlfriend, but I also sometimes had my doubts with her. She seemed cool, especially when we were in the presence of others. For example, the first few times she picked me up from the airport, I had the idea that I was meeting a business associate. It was only when I discussed this with her that it became clear to me why she acted so 'cool' and at the same time her attitude changed. As advice I would therefore like to add that expressing both expectations can provide a lot of clarity. It is indeed easier to score a lady in the tourist centers, because they already know a bit more what a farang expects from them. Please note that you are not the only farang 😉
Even if you take into account that people don't show affection in public, you can still pick up signals. When my girlfriend first picked me up from the airport she didn't hug me either, but I can tell from her smile and twinkling eyes that she was full of happiness and warmth. When we sat down (she also had some presents for me and I for her) she put her hand on my legs. Of course, the real emotions only came when we were in her apartment. 😉 You just have to feel a certain click, warmth.
Rudy Van Goethem says on 5 February 2013 at 13:02: Agree, It has to come from both sides, and then money is not an issue (for both).
"The Western man prefers to know immediately what kind of meat he has on the hook and wants to get into bed with her as soon as possible" many men would like to dive into the suitcase with a beautiful, nice lady, Thai, farang or Chilean, Makes no difference. But those men think too much with the small head, if you follow your heart and your mind then this kind of thing will run smoothly, you will feel each other's signals when both are in for fun between the sheets.
Hello…
I met Emmy through a friend in Bkk, and ok, she looks very good… so yes, then you are “lost” as a guy, right, most Thai women are just very pretty… and “sweet”… you think …
Everything was going well until she suddenly needed money for her family… I was already sending money every month for the internet café, and the taxi she needed every day to get there…
Ok, I don't mind that… I transfer 6000 Bath to her account every month… but then suddenly the family came along…
Did she want 15 baht a month to support her family, plus I had to stand surety for a loan, because her brother wanted a new scooter, but he couldn't get a loan…
But… if I met all these conditions, she would introduce me to her parents…
Yes, I can imagine… I eventually stopped going into it, and the only answer I got was: you don't like family, you don't like me…
End of story, and never had any contact with them again…
There is indeed a culture clash and a language barrier, and you are often seen as an ATM machine…
But yes, hope gives life… we are not going to generalize…
Rudy…
I've read many pieces where things went wrong in daring, making contact and maintaining, the greed of which many Thai ladies, but especially Isan beauties are accused of, I feel called to reflect my positive experience.
First time on holiday in Thailand, visiting Koh Tao a fantastic island. Sprained my foot and had a sore back because of my backpacking, so I ended up in one of the smaller massage parlors. They were busy studying what the ailment was and after an hour I was done, with the announcement to come back tomorrow. The next day it turned out that the older lady was not present, but she was a beautiful young lady who, in my eyes, was aware of my problems and professionally tried to help me get rid of them in the next hour.
Since I was alone I took the plunge and asked her if she was married or had a boyfriend. She answered in the negative to both questions. You already understand, the next question was, would you like to go out for dinner with me tonight? Her answer was without any doubt, okay.
I'm not going to tell you the rest of the evening and the following days, to spare you the red ears and lying awake tonight, but it was very cozy and intimate.
After a wonderful time, it was unfortunately also the time to say goodbye, tears pouring out. She with the idea that I will never see him again, me with the feeling why should I go back, but I will be back soon.
And indeed cold in Holland, quickly arranged a number of things and booked a ticket to ...... Thailand, within 6 weeks I was back and could hold my big little (she is only 1.55 meters) in my arms again. Because in addition to the wonderful physical contacts, I also wanted something else, namely to talk about all kinds of things that kept her, but also me, busy. Her knowledge of English was very limited, a diving instructor from London could give her a 1,5 hour lesson every day for a fee of 200 baht per session. She had lessons every day for 2,5 months and spoke increasingly better English.
Now about 2,5 years later we are living in Hua Hin, my ties with Holland are almost broken, still together, AND she has NEVER asked me for money, I pay everything,
If we go to such a wonderful market and buy fish, chicken and vegetables and spices, I will pay for it. She has attended the men's and women's hairdressing school at the king's school, is very diligent, extremely honest and caring, a gem in Thailand.
She massages friends and acquaintances, vacationers at their homes, and I'm always there as a driver.
In the end I would still like to start a business full of energy or contribute to someone who is already in business, but thanks to the tax authorities in the Netherlands I have limited options, but hope is alive.
With this I hope to pay tribute to all those ladies who are not hungry for money and who want more money, who can simply give their love and care in all sincerity to the falang who is not only looking for sex or a short-term adventure, but is looking for LUCK
Ultimately, I think it's a combination of cultural differences and personal style. Because it is quite likely that a Thai woman does not show her affection (in public) easily. But just as often you read that an Asian rarely expresses his or her anger openly. So this lady had a nice coat on that.
I offered to have something to eat or drink first, so that she could decide whether she wanted to see me more often or not. But she admitted that was not necessary: she insisted that I come to stay at her house, preferably both weeks of my vacation. Staying outside in a hotel or resort was out of the question.
I don't believe there is a country anywhere on earth where it is a culture to ignore your guests and send them to bed against their will.
Nevertheless, you have given her little time to show some (expected) affection. Your two weeks of holiday enjoyment were probably more important than the enjoyment of a relationship! I wish you strength, both in Thailand and elsewhere in the world, regarding relationships!
I don't think you could have done much better. If the other person insists that you immediately arrive at the home address, fine, but they can also know that there may not be a real click after all. Possibly a friendship would have resulted from it, I know enough ladies (and gentlemen) with whom I have a friendship but with whom there is no romantic click. Then you can have great contact, come to visit, but nothing more. Had it been nice you could have stayed a few more days (I don't plan things like that myself, just feel when it's time to go). But you felt downright unwelcome, ignored, well then I understand that you left quickly. If there is no love, not even friendship then I don't think you feel comfortable with a strange distant person and you thank for the time and effort and leave.
Dear Wessel,
I still have a few questions after reading and re-reading your article,
You say that there were "some cracks in our romantic idyll", why did you still decide to go to her, especially if it turns out that the information she gave about herself was not entirely correct and that you are not actually food for conversation?
I think there were some red flags that should have warned you that it wasn't going to be easy.
You mention her mother who "stuckly insisted on speaking to me in Thai", have you ever thought that maybe she only speaks Thai and tried to address her in Thai?
What did you expect when you arrived in that village in the Isan, that she would fly around your neck jubilantly?
I don't think it's a bad sign that she insisted you sleep in her house, rather than in a hotel.
I find it rather strange that you deal with her for months via the internet, fly to Bangkok, with obvious reluctance I read in your article, travel to her in the Isaan and that you then know within 24 hours that it will not work and throw in the towel throws the ring, there will be quite a lot of talk about her in her village and not positive.
Who knows what a huge setback you were for her when she saw you for the 1st time, I think the story is very one-sided, I would also like to know her opinion of you.
I think you take the victim role and put the failure of the relationship completely on her, you did everything right, according to your article and she is to blame for the whole situation.
Maybe you should have tried a little harder and put yourself in her situation a little more, if you really wanted to build a relationship with her.
If you ever consider a relationship with a Thai woman again, I wish you good luck and strength, but certainly more patience, because this way you really won't succeed.
Regards,
Lex K.
Totally agree with Lex! Throwing in the towel after 24 hours doesn't really give the impression that you wanted to make something out of this relationship. Even in the Netherlands it is difficult to speak of a “relationship” within 24 hours, no matter how good the communication may be. You simply don't build a (good) relationship through a chat box and spending a day together. If I were you, I'd better adjust my expectations. It is very easy to get in touch with a Thai lady, but it takes the necessary patience to come to a "real relationship". But that is actually no different in the Netherlands!
Perhaps the book Thailand fever or in Dutch Thai fever can bring some clarity to the OP, so that this misery can be avoided for both on a subsequent visit to this beautiful country and its beautiful women.
I myself have had such a 'nice' experience with a Thai here in the Netherlands, always very busy yes, with a massage shop in this case, hardly ever time to see me always 'busy' but that shop is, strangely enough, usually closed . And if she wanted to see me there are big bills to be paid (by me), up to thousands of euros. Or she needed a car ride somewhere. But the courtesy hospitality are also certainly present. According to the lady in question, all this was also part of Thai culture.
I remember well that I met my 1st internet date on Skype, we had already spoken to each other and together we decided to stop, I found her rather arrogant and we did not have a good conversation, about 4 months later I recognized her again on Skype, purely coincidental because she had taken a different name and different photos on the dating site, so you can understand that we were very surprised to see each other again, but this time the conversation went easier and I understood that she had been married to a thai who had abused her quite a bit, she had had 5 children from him of which only 2 were still alive, she had also had an accident in which she had lost 2 of her children.
We decided to Skype together now and after a month we decided that I would come to BKK 3-4 months later, she would meet me there. she was from Khorat, during our conversations she turned into a warm sweet woman and I was completely in love before I left, we could talk everything and although she told me to skype with other men too I was not worried, she would only talk to me to bed.
In BKK I had taken a good room near Chinatown and after a few hours of sleep she came by, although I had planned not to climb on it right away, it was clear that she wanted to sleep with me, we didn't talk much initially we spent the rest of the day in bed and in the evening we walked to Chinatown to have a nice dinner.
In between we also had good conversations and the next day she had to go back to Khorat to take care of her children.
At the end of the week she would come by again to leave together for Hua Hin where we would stay for about 6 weeks, and so it happened.
We had 6 great weeks, in which we sometimes had problems but the relationship remained good, she looked good, sometimes I bought her some tasteful clothes so that she actually felt better, she was spontaneous, said what she thought and learned at the same time taught me about the Thai customs, which I didn't know much about at the time.
after about 4 weeks I went with her to Khorat to spend the last weeks there with her, everything went well there too.
We had a room together, I also went to her family and children.
No money was asked, I only paid the costs we incurred together.
Every year I hung out with her I went to Thailand in summer and winter to be together, that went well for 5 years.
The last time I was supposed to come by for 6 weeks in the winter, I had skyped with her the day before I was going to travel to BKK, which is my surprise, she didn't show up, phone, email nothing worked, I didn't get an answer and was from plan to travel to Khorat, I didn't understand, a thai friend told me that I shouldn't do that because of family circumstances or something.
I spent the rest of my holiday alone and then returned home to work.
Her phone number and email address didn't work in Holland either, so I gave up, a shitty experience richer.
after 10 months i meet her again on the internet, she wanted to talk to me again, i said i didn't want to talk to her before she started explaining to me why she cracked me up.
Then the high word came out, before she got to know me she went with an American soldier who had bought her own house for her family, he had also bought some Rai land for them, in Phimai or something.
But she didn't love him, she had to stay with him because that's what the family wanted, up to 3 times she wanted to go back to me but the family refused and she accepted, of course I gave up, if she herself had that willpower If not, I can't give it to her.
Again 3 years later she calls me around the turn of the year in Thailand (huahin) if she can see me she was going to get married and she wanted to meet me before the wedding.
I didn't think that was a good idea, you don't get married for free and we both knew it would turn into sex again, but she wanted to see me for a few days and she was sure of it.
Anyway, she came to stay for a few days and she also wanted to see me in BKK again, I didn't think that was a good idea and I told her so, during her presence her husband-to-be called her 1 time and I felt very uncomfortable there bee.
When I was in Bkk she called me to meet, which I refused, after which she burst into tears, telling me that I only refused because she had left me in BKK, I said that was partly true but it was more important to me that she didn't leave him.
Since then she has tried several times to reach me through facebook, for pictures and to tell me that she still loves me etc..
The last thing I told her was that I don't understand why she lives in a country where she doesn't feel at home (GBR) with a man she doesn't love to generate money for a family she doesn't care about .
If this is Thai culture then I don't understand.
Hope it is of some use to you…..
A dating site – the name says it all – is for making a date, an appointment.
Not for relationship building.
If you have found someone you want to date and who also wants to date you, you make an appointment as soon as possible.
I don't believe in all those weeks or months of communicating over the internet without ever seeing, feeling and smelling each other.
And if things don't work out during such an internet relationship, yes, then the chance of failure is very high.
There are countless men who promise everything, but never show up.
Did you actually ask her when it would be convenient for you to come, or did you suddenly 'surprise' her with the fact that you had a ticket?
My unsolicited advice: Next time, go to Thailand (centrally in Bangkok) for three weeks, then check out a dating site, for example Thaifriendly.com, and you can be anywhere you have a date within 24 hours.
Nice honest confession, although you could have taken your time to see what it could become. It is recognizable what you write and also in Vietnam people are sent to bed, sleep time for you, the conversation is over.
I read with interest the whole story and the comments. I do draw some conclusions. 1) Love is a strange and unpredictable thing. Yet many are always working on it. 2) Internet dating has been very much in anywhere in the world for years. It just isn't for me at all. I find it a bit forced and…?? what actually. So think about that for a moment. That it works for many is wonderful, but I would have a hard time with such an internet date. There is a nice question at the end of the story. What's in it for me? Gained some life experience?
I think it's fine to leave if you quickly realize that the click was missing and you have the feeling that you are not welcome.
I myself once met a woman in Isaan through a mutual friend.
She also owned a small shop with which she earned her income, but during my stay her mother moved into the shop and we stayed in her house just outside the village.
Furthermore, she was warm.. very hospitable.. caring and took me everywhere with her.. had nothing to complain about.
That's a completely different start than what happened to Wessel... so it's really not surprising that he quickly called it a day.
I wouldn't have done it any other way..
Dear men anyway,
The more you spend on a woman (time, attention, money, care, love, understanding and above all patience), the more she will love you. This is not only the case in Thailand but also in many other countries. Moreover, as an older man with little money you can expect little success with girls and younger women.
Fortunately, not all women are the same
Every time read is the thailand blog with great interest.
I myself have been to Thailand more than 10 times with the intention of having a relationship.
Unfortunately I never succeeded. The problem I think was also the poor English age difference.
Last September I decided to find a relationship on thailovelinks.
In my profile I entered that I was looking for a woman between 45 and 55 years old.
She must speak good English, preferably no children and preferably a smoker.
I myself have no children for 55 years and have never been married, this was one of the last chances for me
on a relationship. I got a lot of responses, but not what I was looking for. Until I received an email from thailovelinks. They send matches that match my profile every so often.
I saw a very beautiful woman between 48 years old and living in Korat. She would speak perfect English
and also liked a cigarette.
Immediately sent an e-mail to her and e-mail back within an hour.
Exchanged each other's skype data and we spoke to each other the same day.
The first 2 days without video only chat and indeed it was not normal she spoke perfect english.
I asked her why and told me that her mother is married to an American soldier. My girlfriend has lived in America from the age of 12 to 44, completed High School and
Worked as a chef in a Japanese restaurant for 20 years.
She saved up some money all these years and moved back to Korat 5 years ago. There a little
bought a house and is actually living there. She is not rich, but very wise and the nice thing is that even though she is Thai, she has nothing to do with Budha. She also no longer lends money to Thai people or so-called Thai friends, because she will never get it back. They also see her more as Farang, who therefore has money.
Our plans are that I will stop working in 4 years and go there. We won't have it wide, but happiness is more than money.
I know I was incredibly lucky to find this woman.
This article is a textbook example of someone who goes to Thailand completely unprepared for a 'date'. First of all, you should already know that many Thais, on the dating sites, can read and write English very well, but speaking it is something else. It is also normal that no specific topics were discussed in your chats. Don't try to start a discussion about Brussels-Halle-Vilvoorde (as I call it) because you won't succeed. A Thai does not engage in deep conversations and reveal as little of themselves as possible, unless you know them through and through…. and that takes years or never succeeds. What you write is really an example of someone who has no idea of Thai culture, or let me say: Thai customs. Certainly this applies to the countryside. I am already surprised that you were allowed to spend the night in the residence of the lady in question. You apparently don't understand that a real Thai cares a lot about what the people around them think. After all, the fact that mother was present there, or lived there, also has its purpose. You also blame the mother for, as you write: stubbornly insisting on addressing you in Thai. Where did you think you were? In the Netherlands? This mother will probably not have mastered a single word of any other language. Why didn't you address her in Thai? After all, you were in Thailand. This is what I call a sad, petty and even arrogant response.
I actually wonder what you went looking for there. Would you like to know whether the information regarding Thai ladies, which you hear / read in your home country, is correct or not. Would you like to know if it was really the case that they go to bed with the first sweet talker?
I have been living in Thailand for quite some time, in the countryside and can refer you to one of my previously written spots here on the blog, about getting to know a Thai “lady”, and I do mean a “lady”. Read : living in the jungle as a single farang man : social contact with thai people ... you may learn something from it.
LS lung addie
I only read that part about the mother as an observation without judgment from the writer attached to it. After all, he doesn't write that it was annoying, stupid or anything like that. And from the fact that she kept talking stubbornly in Thai (logical if you don't speak any other languages) I then gather that the mother was genuinely interested in Wessel. That's positive. If she only thought he was a weird guy, she certainly wouldn't have kept communicating with him, if it had all been a scam, she wouldn't have kept talking to him either. This woman showed interest and Wessel couldn't do much other than politely nod yes. Perhaps communicating back with hands and feet and talking back in English would have been nice, although you would soon have finished talking without a common language.
Sharon, Part 1: wishful thinking sure, but no reality and even less guarantee. Loving can take strange forms.
Part 2 you are right, but a pity.
The story was well written. So good, in fact, that I shook my head at the image of you. The image of a man, who, as described above, comes here with blinkers and without awareness of another culture and expects that people in Thailand are like that, as they know it from the stories. Stories about ladies from bar life.
And believe me, men have also come back from (mainly) Isaan surprised and dismayed, because their sexy lady suddenly became a very prudish "normal" Isan country daughter.
A donkey doesn't hit the same stone twice, but if you don't read a bit, look up YouTube videos about real life in Thailand for all I care, you will.
I see it around me every day. People who live here and after years still don't realize that their ideas about culture and values don't match the Thai ones. You don't have to accept everything, after all you are not Thai. But you have to take it very seriously!
Hello
I have good experiences with a dating site. The very first time I met a nice lady, although I had to confess to her that it was not about a date but about a lady who could work for me. Have shirts copied and sent with EMS to the Netherlands. It has come to a romance that has lasted half a year.
The second date was also fine. It also lasted half a year, but then the investments became too high.
€25.000 for setting up a 7 Eleven, €12.500 for a new van, €6.000 for the mortgage.
Then I just said goodbye.
Been living for three years now with a lovely lady from a bar in Pattaya.
Many responders here do not understand that Thai, Dutch, etc. ladies really do not come from other planets. There are some nuance differences but really no study is needed to date a lady from another country. Follow your heart and mind and these things will come naturally. Communicate (verbally and non-verbally), the other person does that too. You automatically feel whether there is a click, don't you? or that there is nothing more in it than friendship? Or that you are being used (whether you are the one who wants to use someone else…)?
I personally find manuals such as 'Thai Fever' useless, if you need a manual to deal with others, a simple booklet is not enough, then I think you need a course 'dealing & feeling with people'. Of course there are some differences in the dating game in general, for example a Thai is more likely to bring a chaperon and less likely to take you past the parents unless it is really thick, but you don't let those things confuse you, do you? Every person is different, you, they.. you automatically feel what feels 'good', including whether that click is there and how to proceed. For one person, that dating path is a bit slower and for the other faster, one person walks route A the other route B... but things will come naturally if both sincerely do their best and show their good will to the other. So don't put pressure on the other or insist that your way (walking path) is the only right one. If you are so rigid and inflexible, closed to other people's points of view, you are going to have a very difficult time in interactions and relationships with other people, whether in love, business, friendships or an interaction between customer and retailer.
Forget that label/excuse 'that's Thai, that's how they do it', it comes from both sides, and provided you are open to the signals for and others and also communicate yourself, then you yourself will feel what is good. That's why I keep hammering on: just follow heart and mind, communicate, don't do anything that doesn't feel right. And then you will see for yourself…
I think I'm going to write a book: 'A relationship with a Thai beauty'. The book will contain 1 page:
Relationship advice:
A random Thai is no different from a random Dutch. They come in all shapes, sizes and flavors with their own traits. But they are not from another planet.
But how do I step into a relationship, it often goes wrong!? Then you are doing something wrong and you probably also have problems with love, work, friendship and social relationships in the Netherlands. Remember that relationships mean communicating. And that every day. Verbal and non-verbal. Give and take part. You and no one has a monopoly on the truth or absolute right. It doesn't have to be your way, but it doesn't have to be the other person's way either. Be honest about your wishes, concerns and feelings. You'll figure it out together. Follow your heart and your mind, not your little head. Count to 3, if something doesn't feel right, then take it easy, slow down, watch the cat out of the tree. If it feels right, follow that path. Follow each other's signals. Be honest and clear. Then it will work itself out. And if it all goes as you would like, you can probably close the book in a neat way to your satisfaction. Success with it.
What a nonsense author, the Thai are so very different, it takes hours of study of Thai culture, society and people to understand them!! Well, dear reader, good luck with that. If there is sufficient interest, I will consider setting up a course with a panel of experts. Donations can go to the bank account below and benefit a good cause (my holiday to Thailand).