There is much to improve on men
Nothing is more delightful than sitting on a terrace watching the passing crowd. Children of men, what a variety of people nature has produced. A striking number of men are starting to show vain traits.
Earrings and ponytails were once reserved for the female gender. That has changed and especially in Pattaya I am amazed. The tattoo shops also apparently do good business, because if you want a macho look you have to walk around decorated with a single that makes the decorations stand out clearly.
Masculinity
Judging by the wide range of erection-stimulating tablets that are offered on Bangkok's Sukhumvit Road, among others, the manhood is starting to show signs of wear and tear. Real guys are dying out. Gynecologists even express alarming reports about increasingly weak sperm.
The cause seems to lie in increasingly warmer wrapped testicles, which you did not suffer from in earlier years with wide-leg underpants. In Thailand, something has been found and the quality of the tight-fitting underpants has been adjusted. After washing twice, the trousers no longer show any fit. Although not a face, the ventilation is certainly excellent in warm weather. If the textile industry had not taken this step, the farewell greeting 'the balls' might have acquired a wry connotation.
Real guys
If I have to believe the text on my motorcycle helmet, there are still real guys with balls. It mainly concerns the men who play pool billiards. The inscription 'Pool Players have eight balls' makes me very curious. To find out the truth, I visit Megabreak, the mecca for practitioners of this noble game in Pattaya. And who better to consult than Bert Gringhuis, aka Gringo. His knowledge of the game is second to none and 'eight ball' is his specialty.
When asked whether it's really true that 'poolers' are as potent guys as the inscription on the motorcycle helmet suggests, he shrugs casually and leaves the questioner a bit in the dark. An inventory of the members of the pool hall also yields little on closer inspection, because nothing is entered under 'physical characteristics'. The only thing listed about the players is their handicap. So we are not getting any wiser, because it is well known that men have a disability and pool players are no exception.
Creation
An error has already been made in the creation of man. The suspension of the testicles is uneven and regarding the male genitals – in whatever position – it is hardly possible to speak of a real design design. That 'jerk' has become a swear word says more than enough in this context.
A bit of designer would have made a much nicer model of the male genitals. The biggest shortcoming of the current device is that it goes way too much on its own.
It raises itself at all times and thinks it can just intrude anywhere without an invitation or identification. If you look around in the well-known nightlife venues in particular, you can see that many men fail to get any grip or control over it. They walk, as the expression aptly conveys, after their dick.
However, it is certainly not a phenomenon that only occurs in Pattaya or Bangkok, nor has anything to do with rank or status. Just think of Strauss-Kahn who scared the hell out of a chambermaid in New York. He would have approached the girl 'with his cock forward'. At least that's how the IMF boss would have come out of the bathroom.
It must have been - if it really happened - a horror for the unsuspecting chambermaid to see the problem that had arisen standing before her in its full state of imperfection with an ugly cockhead and unevenly hanging balls. The conclusion is clear: man must be recreated.
The above article has been bastardized by Joseph Jongen on the basis of the article 'Scrotum' from the booklet Kom Komma, written by Neerlandicus and language wizard Wim Daniëls. It is a collection of his columns from the radio program Spijkers met Koppen. Daniëls is also a regular guest in the TV program of Pauw en Witteman. The wonderfully readable booklet has been published by Thomas Rap Publishers in Amsterdam. ISBN 978 94 004 03710