A Thai dilemma
You undoubtedly know that I often visit Megabreak, a pool hall in Pattaya. Pool billiards has become a hobby for me here in Thailand and I have been part of the organization of the three weekly tournaments for quite some time now.
In addition to the regular players, many tourists come to the pool hall who want to play a game or just have a drink. So nothing spectacular and no significant incidents of any kind occur. If it does happen, like last week with some Thais, then it is quite a challenge for Western management to deal with the problem. I am going to sketch you a “drama” like a one-act play, in which I have given the Thai a Dutch name for privacy reasons.
The actors
Yuri: bartender and jack of all trades, has been working in Megabreak for many years and is a very good pool player himself. Has been married in the past, has a child, but his wife (divorced?) and child live somewhere in Isaan.
Nellie: a gifted pool player, charming and adored by many men. She is beautiful and sexy and her presence makes many customers' hearts beat faster. At a very young age she had a relationship with an older Canadian, who suffered a cardiac arrest a few years ago during "the act" and died.
Yvonne and Truus: two of Nelly's girlfriends, also good pool players, and the three of them regular visitors to Insomnia Disco. Both ladies, also nice and sexy, have had a few relationships, but are currently single and therefore… available for certain personal services. So just two hookers, but not cheap!
Carl: a beautiful young lady, who has only been working at Megabreak for about a month. Now you should know that the workforce at Megabreak mainly consists of young ladies. Most are either married or have boyfriends, and only a few are "free". There is no barfine system, but any member of staff is free to accept a lady drink that will earn them some money.
Chris: An Australian young man who only plays a background role in the incident. In fact, he probably doesn't know about the incident, it happened after he returned to Australia from Pattaya.
What preceded
In daily life Joeri has a relationship with Nelly and they do not hide it either. Nelly also has a relationship with Chris, the Australian, who supports her financially in such a way that she and Joeri can live well with his reasonable salary from Megabreak.
Once a year Nelly goes to her boyfriend in Perth for three months and Chris usually comes to Pattaya twice a year. During the period that Chris is in Pattaya, Joeri naturally keeps a low profile. In my opinion, Chris knows nothing about the Joeri/Nelly relationship and, as is customary in Thailand, he is not informed about this by anyone else. The motto is, that's nobody's business!
Joeri is a free boy when Chris is in Pattaya or Nelly in Australia. A healthy Thai guy, who sometimes has an adventure with another lady. This time he has it on Carla, who gives in to his advances and they sleep together (several times). Nelly is not naive, but most likely not aware of Joeri's relationship with Nelly.
Big mistake
It is her big mistake because it is an unwritten but tough law in Pattaya that a Thai lady does not go to bed with a (Thai) man, who she knows is "reserved" by another Thai lady. It wouldn't be the first time such an offense has resulted in a fatality. Luckily it didn't come to that!
The incident
One way or another Nelly finds out via the tam-tam what happened between Joeri and Carla. Joeri is not to blame. He's a man seduced by Carla, that's what it's called. No, Carla is the culprit.
The day after Chris has left, the three ladies Nelly, Yvonne and Truus are sitting at the Megabreak bar to celebrate that departure and prepare for an evening/night in Walking Street. Nelly, incited by the two others, then approaches Carla who is playing pool with a visitor and gives her a huge punch in the face. Nelly then adds another shouting match, which includes the warning that Carla must leave Megabreak immediately and never come back. After all, Joeri must be protected!
Carla is dazed, also injured. She has no reply and is no match for Nelly to hit back. She cries and runs out the door, never to come back.
The management dilemma
Joeri is a good worker, the three ladies are good customers and Carla has developed into a valuable member of staff in that short time. At first glance it seems simple. What the staff do in their spare time is not a matter for the management. It's not smart of Joeri and Carla, because as the English say: “Don't shit on your own doorstep”. Something like this always comes out and is talked about.
Joeri and Carla can therefore continue to work at Megabreak and Nelly will be denied access indefinitely. The latter is now the rub. If the management does that, Carla is in danger of being met and punished somewhere outside Megabreak by the three ladies or maybe even by a bunch of hired, burly guys. The management cannot protect her outside of Megabreak.
What is wisdom in this case? Who knows may say?
– Reposted message –
About this blogger
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Bert Gringhuis (1945), born and raised in Almelo in the beautiful Twente. Later lived for many years in Amsterdam and Alkmaar, working in export for various companies. I first came to Thailand in 1980 and immediately fell in love with the country. Been back many times since then and moved to Thailand after my (early) retirement as a widower. I have been living there for 22 years now with my somewhat younger Thai lady Poopae.
My first experiences in Thailand as a kind of newsletter sent to family, friends and acquaintances, which later appeared under the name Gringo on Thailandblog. Many, many articles followed those first stories and that has grown into an almost daily hobby.
In the Netherlands still an avid footballer and football referee, but the years are starting to tell and in Thailand still avid, but the pool billiards is really of inferior quality, ha ha!
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In personal and relational spheres of life, Thais have their own "game" rules, which have little to do with adulthood. This is already apparent from the generally accepted and accepted principle that Thais can also have a sponsor friendship with a farang in addition to their own cohabiting relationship. As mentioned in the story supplied by Gringo. In addition to that fact, Thais also adhere to the principle of resolving conflicts through violence. This is also mentioned in Gringo's sketched story. Even up to death threats or actual execution.
Gringo's question what to do in case of need I would like to answer me: Leave the Thai to the Thai, let them sort out their own quarrels and stay away from it!!
What seems to me the best solution is to call the ladies together, let them talk things over, and let each other apologize.
Carla and Joeri for cheating Nelly and Nelly for hitting and swearing.
If they, or one of them, are not hungry for this, they are not (for the time being) welcome in the tent.
Also add the warning that from now on private feuds will be settled outside the case. If not: Get out and never come back.
Feuds like this can be entertaining to watch, but shouldn't happen too often. That creates tensions, and that does not improve the atmosphere, and that quickly costs customers.
Also in TH, also and especially in a catering establishment, week and private should remain separate. If they can't, the only solution is: Get out and move on.
Sounds harsh, but it is the only way to keep the atmosphere in the business good.
Very simple…..fire Joeri because he knows the “Thai laws”. Carla probably didn't know about Joeri's relationship, but nevertheless fired her too. Of course you have to find a new bartender and waitress very quickly and then fire them.
I was an avid Pattaya fan and still remember it fondly. Often played in Megabreak himself and now do so in the Philippines.
Your story is 100% Gringo correct, only with your examples many reactions are released that have nothing to do with the posting, such as girls who only rip off their friend and actually piss off their friend and only have to cash in. The well-known quarrels that will most certainly be followed by reprisals. It's actually sad these truths, but luckily I found my happiness in the Philippines, not bothered by all those stress relationships and lies! How did I end up in the Philippines? Precisely because of the stupidity of the Thai government to force tourists to leave the country for a re-entry instead of keeping the money in their own hands! In answer to your question: There is no wisdom here, but personally I don't trust those 3 ladies for anything. In the future, maybe we will hear from you how it turned out in part 2…..?
We all know where those girls come from, only Pattaya is hell and the Isaan is being canonized again! The tourists first have to pay tuition fees before they find out the truth.
It will come down to the fact that Nelly is denied access, but that she can go back in quickly.
Nelly also knows that it is not smart to fight with the staff and if she wants to catch Carla again, she will not do so in Megabreak.
Carla is “wrong” in Thai thinking, polishes the record and disappears to where she came from or at least elsewhere outside of Pattaya.
I myself think that you have acted correctly and unfortunately it is not optimal, but you cannot take responsibility for the actions of the people involved either.
Well, there really isn't any wisdom. The problem should be solved as simply as possible. The dairy cow (bull) Chris is of course not allowed to hear about this. After all, it is important for all parties to keep the money coming. Nelly's double standards are a big problem. She apparently thinks it's okay that she has a paid relationship with Chris and also moans with Joeri. However, as soon as Joeri releases his tensions in Carla while she is having fun with Chris, things suddenly go wrong. However, this in my opinion strange way of reasoning is very common among some Thai ladies (having several foreign sponsors without them knowing about each other is normal). I think some comparative education (pointing out the weird reasoning, harshly or not) is appropriate with Nelly. I'm quite willing to take that on when I'm in the area with some bed fun with Nelly as a reward lol.
@wibar
Further beatings from Carla could well result in Chris van Australie eventually having to deal with it, with ultimately a major financial sponsor AND loss of face…..for Nelly. ” do not throw with rocks if you live yourself in a glass house ” I would say
Apparently no one has looked at that option yet?
Clear story Gringo and you sketch the Thai relational atmosphere excellently. Bartender Joeri, who has been 'single' for 3 months when Nelly is at the service of her Australian wallet Chris and seems to have no problems with it, is of course the one who has caused the current problem by working with his colleague Carla, who has just joined the service. , to share the bed. Now I don't want to claim that I have the wisdom in a monopoly, far from it, but I don't think that is necessary now and you already know the solution.
You claim yourself that you cannot guarantee the safety of Carla outside Megabreak, but keeping her employed could also cause trouble within Megabreak. Let the Thai people involved sort it out on their own and Carla will have to accept the consequences of her 'act of love', which implies that she has to look for another job. You describe Carla as a beautiful lady and a valuable force, so she will be able to find another job quite easily.
Joeri out caused the problem
With an additional advantage, the ladies bring in money and Joeri costs money
I can't lift my heels or I'll miss something again...
Well, what is wisdom?
Completely ignoring what exactly happened, my first hunch is:
As a Western person and/or management, do not interfere in a Thai internal affair.
That would mean: Not taking any measures and not denying anyone access.
If that is not an option: do not take sides and deny access to all those involved.
All other solutions have a certain polder content and it is highly questionable whether this is appreciated and/or understood.
They are all grown people and Thailand has a rather different culture in the area described above. So you keep the most valuable staff and what then happens outside the company you just stay far outside as a farang without any significant rights in Thailand 😉
I do not understand this sentence, Nelly is not naive, but most likely not aware of Joeri's relationship with Nelly. You will mean Carla here who is very likely, yet, not aware of Joeri's relationship with Nelly.
So that Nelly attacks Carla is wrong, but Carla was not resistant to Nelly.
Yes… now what? Carla could apologize to Nelly for not being aware of Nelly's relationship with Joeri. Subsequently, Nelly is able to apologize to Carla for wrongly attacking her. Then the ladies are done with each other. If that is not possible, and that is certainly not excluded, Carla may choose to go back to where she came from or elsewhere outside Pattaya for her well-being.
What remains is Mr. Joeri, good sir, going out with other women, please, nice, isn't it, Nelly, and going out with Nelly if she isn't going out with Chris. A freeloader of the first order, well, that's the price Nelly, and Joeri, pay for exploiting the, oh poor, Chris.
Everything can end up in that pernicious circuit.
Looking forward to the sequel.
Nico B
That is not only in that circuit, that is how it works for many ladies outside that circuit as well.
If they have 2 boyfriends of their own then it is normal, but if 1 of the 2 boyfriends does it with someone else, the house is too small.
Or, if a lady knows she is number 2, accept that boyfriend is doing it with number 1, but a slip with a 3rd woman and the house is also too small.
By the way, of the ladies who work in Pattaya, you'd be surprised how many are married or just have a Thai boyfriend. He thinks it's nice and easy, because she pays the rent etc and he can also play outside for an evening when the lady is out with clients. And it's not just Pattaya but that starts much earlier. For example, it is quite common among the students to have a Thai boyfriend, but to have an older man with them, and occasionally do odd jobs in the bedroom for a few hours for a fee. Women who study are always short of money.
It's very simple here, fire Carla and say it's for her best will, it will be the least misery. And let Joeri know that he is not tired of crawling under the sheets with the staff in the business, explain to him that megabreak can miss that misery, there are still plenty of fun girls walking around there, you almost fall over when you come out. regards
Deny Nelly access and if there is video footage of that fight, have Carla file a complaint with the police.
Violence is a no go.
Regardless of whether it comes from staff or customers.
Very simple Thai pick yourself
Chris warn about girlfriend doubles
What if
Chris would be a Belgian or a Dutch person, whom you know well.
What would you do then?
I once had the choice years ago to warn knowledge, but didn't do it.
would have done it now afterwards.
regards
Don't let Yvonne and Truus and Nelly in anymore.
Talk to Joeri, make it clear that this is not possible, lose your job if there are further irregularities
Carla to the police
Bit late, Peter, your solution 6 years later. The original story dates from 2015 and the editors, and I too, thought it was a nice story to repeat.
By the way, don't worry, because the mentioned problem has solved itself over time. With the exception of Nelly, I no longer see any of the actors in Megabreak. Joeri now works on Koh Phangan, Yvonne now (temporarily) lives with her boyfriend in France, Truus has moved to Ayutthaya and I haven't heard from Carla since.
Nelly also disappeared from the scene for a while and lived with an Englishman in Bangkok for a while. However, that relationship failed and she has now returned to Pattaya to live with yet another Englishman, for as long as it takes, of course.